Jesus gets into the boat first, and the disciples follow Him. So it is with marriage: Christ steps into the boat first and invites us to follow Him. But then the storms come: tiredness, wounds, arguments, children, finances, our mission, differences in temper. And then we begin to think, “Lord, do You not see that we are sinking?” Christ is not outside our boat. He is within the sacrament. He may seem to be asleep, but He is there. Sometimes He allows the waves so that we stop relying on our own strength, stop trying to steer the boat ourselves, and learn instead to trust Him and do what He asks of us. The answer is never to abandon the boat, nor to throw ourselves into the waters of pride, complaint or of demanding too much. Wake Christ up with your prayer! Look at Him with attentive eyes, knowing that only in Him will you find what you are seeking. Obey Him even when you do not understand, and say: “Rise up, Lord, within my heart. Rebuke my fears and bring Your peace.”

Applied to Married Life

Martha: Louis, I think we’re expecting too much from the children when it comes to praying the Rosary together as a family.
Louis: You’ve been talking to your mother again, haven’t you?
Martha: Yes, and what of it? She’s my mother! I’m tired of this constant battle you have with my family.
Louis: And I’m tired of your mother having the final say every time we make a decision.
Martha: She doesn’t have the final say. She simply helps me to see things more clearly. Just as your mother does when you speak to her.
Louis: Martha, all I know is that we need to do this differently. In the end, by listening to everyone else, we end up against each other, and nothing moves forward.
Martha: You’re right… It seems that everyone is speaking in our boat except the Lord.
Louis: Exactly. We ask everyone else for advice, we look to everyone else for support… and we leave Him asleep.
Martha: Just like in the Gospel. Jesus was in the boat, but they were looking more at the storm than at Him.
Louis: And we’re doing exactly the same. We focus on what my mother says, what yours says, what other people will think…
Martha: And only when we’re already sinking do we remember to pray.
Louis: Then let’s not allow that to happen. Before making any decision, let’s ask the Lord for His help.
Martha: Yes. “Lord, save us! We are perishing.”
Louis: And may He show us how to lead our children to Him, without turning it into a battle between our families.
Martha: Agreed. First, you and I will pray together.
Louis: And then we’ll talk calmly.
Martha: And with our phones well out of reach.
Louis: Amen. Because that’s where so many waves come from.

Mother,

Teach us to sail with Jesus, to remain with Him in times of trial, and to believe that no wave is stronger than His presence. Praised be the Lord!

From the Gospel according to Matthew 8:18-22

It is natural for us to long for stability — an environment where we feel comfortable and where nothing disturbs our peace. But the Lord’s way does not find stability in the comfort of a life without interruptions. It finds stability in remaining in God and in allowing ourselves to be surprised each day as we do His will, led by His Spirit.

Applied to Married Life:

Paula: If you could, what would you change about me?
Gabriel: Nothing, absolutely nothing.
Paula: But there are things about me that trouble you sometimes.
Gabriel: But that’s not because of you. You are exactly as God has wanted you to be. Nothing could improve on that. And what would you change about me?
Paula: Whatever God wants to change in you. Only He knows who you are called to become. For now, I like you very much just as you are.
Gabriel: Only very much?
Paula: Much more than you like me.
Gabriel: No, I like you much more.
Paula: We sound like two people who are dating and can’t decide who’s going to hang up first! Ha ha!
Gabriel: Ha ha! You hang up…

Mother,

Why do we try to change our spouse when we have not yet discovered all the greatness that God has placed within them? God has given me so much, and I have not been able to appreciate it.

From the Gospel according to John 21:15-19

It may seem surprising that Jesus insists on asking Peter three times in succession whether he loves Him. But we remember that this same Peter denied Him three times on the night of the Passion. Christ gives him the opportunity to reaffirm his love, once for each time he denied Him. The Lord is always lovingly ready to draw near to us, so that we may ask for forgiveness in the Sacrament of Reconciliation and become like little lambs in the arms of our Good Shepherd. Let us not wish to be anything else. There is nothing better than allowing ourselves to be led by Him, for He is Love.

Peter: The children still haven’t tidied their room… I honestly don’t know what else to say to them. They completely ignore me. I’m sure if you go in now they’ll obey you straight away. They always wait for your approval before listening to me, and when you’re not here there’s no way they’ll do anything I ask. I’m really getting tired of it. It’s always the same.
Margaret: Always the same, always the same… you’re the one who’s always saying the same thing. I’m the one who’s tired of having the very same conversation over and over again…
Peter: The same thing, the same conversation… Forgive me, Margaret. I’ve let myself be carried away by old feelings that I thought I had overcome. I didn’t sleep well last night, and I’ve fallen into the same trap again.
Margaret: No, you forgive me, Peter. I rose to the bait without a second thought… The truth is, I didn’t sleep well either. That programme we watched left me quite unsettled, and it took me ages to fall asleep.
Peter: It was the same for me. Thank God we’re beginning to recognise these outbursts of passion and stop them before they grow. I remember that before our conversion we would start an argument that could leave us not speaking to each other for days.
Margaret: Absolutely… I shudder just remembering it. If you agree, perhaps we could move our time of marital prayer to before we go to bed. That way we could spend longer in prayer and go to sleep with the peace that comes from being with the Lord.
Peter: I think that’s a wonderful idea. Less television and more prayer — what a brilliant plan. Thank you, my dear wife, for always drawing me back onto the right path.

Mother,

We want to be those little lambs who walk beside Jesus. Sometimes He leads us by the hand and we walk with Him; at other times He has to carry us in His arms. Never allow us to drift away from Him. Blessed and praised for ever be Jesus in the Most Blessed Sacrament of the Altar!

In this Gospel, the centurion’s humble faith offers us a precious light for married life. When he says, “Lord, I am not worthy that You should enter under my roof,” he humbly acknowledges the greatness of the One standing before him. Spouses, too, are called to recognize that their husband or wife is a sacred mystery, holy ground inhabited by God. Today we might say to our spouse, “I am not worthy to step onto your holy ground.”

How important it is, before judging or making demands, to “remove our sandals” before our spouse, for we stand on holy ground, before a child of God, a temple of the Holy Spirit. We can imagine Jesus marveling when husbands and wives look upon one another with reverence, when they respect each other’s pace and weaknesses, recognizing that God dwells within the other.

Today, dear spouses, we invite you to reflect in prayer: Do I enter my spouse’s life with respect and reverence? Do I remove my sandals before the mystery God has placed within him or her? Do I recognize that I stand before a living temple of the Holy Spirit?

Brought Down to Married Life

Isabel: William, I’ve noticed that you’ve seemed different lately. You’ve been coming home very late from work because you’ve been spending time with your colleague, and it has made me feel insecure.
William: Different? Honestly, no. She’s just a coworker. We’ve been talking more because she’s going through a difficult season.
Isabel: Right… “just a coworker.” But in the end, you’re always there for her, and I feel as though I’m being left on the sidelines.
William: It’s not fair to think that of me. Truly, nothing is happening like you’re imagining.
Isabel: Forgive me, William. I realize that I’m judging you instead of recognizing the good you’re trying to do by helping her.
William: Isabel, what you said hurt me. I felt that you didn’t trust me and that you drew conclusions without listening to me.
Isabel: William, you’re right. Instead of calmly asking and truly listening, I created a story in my own mind and judged you, and that isn’t fair to you.
William: Isabel, thank you for recognizing that, because I felt deeply misunderstood. Next time, I promise I’ll tell you sooner about what’s going on so that unnecessary doubts and worries don’t take root. Would you like me to explain everything now?
Isabel: Yes. I’d like to listen properly this time, without interrupting or making assumptions.
William: She’s going through a very difficult time in her marriage and asked for support because she knows that we’ve been accompanying couples who are struggling.
Isabel: William, thank you for explaining it. I understand much better now. And if you think it might help them, perhaps the four of us could meet one day and share our testimony with them.
William: I think that’s a wonderful idea. It could truly do them a lot of good.
Isabel: Thank you for your generosity and for being a light to those who need it, and to me as well.

Teach us to look upon our spouse with your eyes, recognizing in him or her the holy ground where God dwells. Blessed and praised be the Lord forever.