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The Gold Factory. Reflection for married couples. Luke 6:20-26

GOSPEL OF THE DAY

From the Gospel according to Luke 6:20-26

Raising his eyes toward his disciples Jesus said:

“Blessed are you who are poor,

for the Kingdom of God is yours.

Blessed are you who are now hungry,

for you will be satisfied.

Blessed are you who are now weeping,

for you will laugh.

Blessed are you when people hate you,

and when they exclude and insult you,

and denounce your name as evil

on account of the Son of Man.

Rejoice and leap for joy on that day!

Behold, your reward will be great in heaven.

For their ancestors treated the prophets

in the same way.

But woe to you who are rich,

for you have received your consolation.

But woe to you who are filled now,

for you will be hungry.

Woe to you who laugh now,

for you will grieve and weep.

Woe to you when all speak well of you,

for their ancestors treated the false

prophets in this way.”

The Word of the Lord

 

The Gold Factory

We live in a society that worships wellbeing. We have become experts at creating it, so much so that we have turned it into our golden calf, something we pursue and long for as though it were our highest good. We seek to live comfortably and securely, free from problems, pain and sacrifice.

But what happens when that sense of wellbeing is shattered? An illness, the loss of a loved one, an injustice, a disappointment, financial hardship, a betrayal… Then we recoil and try to numb the pain. We reject anything that causes us to suffer.

But what if there were a factory capable of turning our tears into gold? Then our tears would no longer be wasted; they would become something immensely valuable.

As Christians, we have found that “factory”: it is the Cross of Jesus. That is why we are blessed, because, united with Christ, we can transform suffering into love.

The saints understood this. The shepherd children of Fátima were constantly looking for sacrifices to offer. They had grasped the meaning of suffering and would say:

“O Jesus, it is for love of You, for the conversion of sinners, and in reparation for the sins committed against the Immaculate Heart of Mary.”

When we unite our suffering with that of Jesus, our tears are no longer barren. They become gold, a treasure that gives life.

When I discover that my true treasure is not wellbeing, but Christ, I learn to seek Him even in the Cross.

 

Applied to married life

Pat: I didn’t sleep a wink last night, worrying about the situation with Inma. She seems so lost and won’t let anyone help her… It breaks my heart to see her like this, and it hurts the way she treats us as well.

Garreth: I was awake too. It was a very difficult conversation.

Pat: As I was lying awake, I thought about offering this pain to the Lord.

Garreth: Your worry, you mean?

Pat: Yes. The worry, the dismissive way she treats us, the sleepless nights, the helplessness of not being able to change the situation, the lack of trust she has in us… all of it.

Garreth: When you put it like that, it makes me think of Jesus. He too experiences the rejection and indifference of so many of His children. How much pain there must be in His Heart when He sees us drifting away from Him!

Pat: Yes… but in the end, although I didn’t sleep at all, once I united my suffering with His, that night, which seemed completely wasted, became a night filled with love.

Garreth: Then I want to offer today’s tiredness for her as well.

Pat: We can’t change her heart, but we can place it in the Lord’s hands and offer everything for her.

Mother,

When the Cross comes, teach us not to waste a single tear. Blessed are you!

Welcoming Brings Its Reward. Reflection for married couples. Matthew 1:1-16, 18-23

GOSPEL OF THE DAY

From the Gospel according to Matthew 1:1-16, 18-23

The Book of the genealogy of Jesus Christ,

the son of David, the son of Abraham.

Abraham became the father of Isaac,

Isaac the father of Jacob,

Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers.

Judah became the father of Perez and Zerah,

whose mother was Tamar.

Perez became the father of Hezron,

Hezron the father of Ram,

Ram the father of Amminadab.

Amminadab became the father of Nahshon,

Nahshon the father of Salmon,

Salmon the father of Boaz,

whose mother was Rahab.

Boaz became the father of Obed,

whose mother was Ruth.

Obed became the father of Jesse,

Jesse the father of David the king.

David became the father of Solomon,

whose mother had been the wife of Uriah.

Solomon became the father of Rehoboam,

Rehoboam the father of Abijah,

Abijah the father of Asaph.

Asaph became the father of Jehoshaphat,

Jehoshaphat the father of Joram,

Joram the father of Uzziah.

Uzziah became the father of Jotham,

Jotham the father of Ahaz,

Ahaz the father of Hezekiah.

Hezekiah became the father of Manasseh,

Manasseh the father of Amos,

Amos the father of Josiah.

Josiah became the father of Jechoniah and his brothers

at the time of the Babylonian exile.

After the Babylonian exile,

Jechoniah became the father of Shealtiel,

Shealtiel the father of Zerubbabel,

Zerubbabel the father of Abiud.

Abiud became the father of Eliakim,

Eliakim the father of Azor,

Azor the father of Zadok.

Zadok became the father of Achim,

Achim the father of Eliud,

Eliud the father of Eleazar.

Eleazar became the father of Matthan,

Matthan the father of Jacob,

Jacob the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary.

Of her was born Jesus who is called the Christ.

Now this is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about.

When his mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph,

but before they lived together,

she was found with child through the Holy Spirit.

Joseph her husband, since he was a righteous man,

yet unwilling to expose her to shame,

decided to divorce her quietly.

Such was his intention when, behold,

the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said,

“Joseph, son of David,

do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home.

For it is through the Holy Spirit

that this child has been conceived in her.

She will bear a son and you are to name him Jesus,

because he will save his people from their sins.”

All this took place to fulfill

what the Lord had said through the prophet:

Behold, the virgin shall be with child and bear a son,

and they shall name him Emmanuel,

which means “God is with us.”

The Word of the Lord

 

Welcoming Brings Its Reward

We are undoubtedly looking at one of the darkest moments in Joseph’s life. Without understanding what is happening and overwhelmed by sorrow, he remains open to God’s voice, allowing Him to change his plans. Instead of withdrawing, he chooses to welcome his wife. How much we spouses can learn from Joseph!

When we are faced with the mystery of the other person’s heart, when we do not understand why they act the way they do, when they do not see things as we do, or when their weakness or their sin becomes apparent, our first temptation is to pull away. We break communion at the very moment when our vocation calls us to give ourselves to one another and to welcome one another.

In the midst of difficulty, listen too to the angel’s words: “Do not be afraid to welcome your spouse.” Engrave them on your heart. The angel does not simply tell Joseph, “Don’t worry.” He calls him to embody love. Now is the moment! “Do not be afraid to take Mary, your wife, into your home.”

Joseph trusted God and welcomed her. That is what we must do if we want to experience the promise of a marriage lived as God intended.

Are you going through a difficult time? Welcome one another.

Do you have differences? Welcome one another.

Have you hurt each other? Welcome one another.

Do you struggle to understand one another? Welcome one another.

And look at the fruit: Joseph welcomed Mary, and by welcoming Mary, the fruit was Jesus.

Therefore, do not focus on how difficult it is to welcome your spouse. Do not focus on what you think you are losing. Ask the Holy Spirit to enlarge your heart, overcome your self-love, and throw yourself into loving, because every time you welcome one another and give yourselves to each other, you gain Christ.

 

Applied to Married Life

Jonathan and Helen are driving home after dinner with some friends. Helen is at the wheel. Jonathan, tired and eager to get home, gazes out of the window in mild despair as car after car overtakes them and disappears into the distance ahead. Then he glances at the speedometer. 

Jonathan: Helen, darling… you’re doing 40.

Helen: So?

Jonathan: Well, at this rate we’ll get home tomorrow!

Helen: Oh, honestly, you’re so dramatic. I just enjoy chatting with you while we’re driving. Don’t you?

Jonathan: Haha, but what’s that got to do with anything?

Jonathan is about to press the point, but he looks at her. He knows she needs to drive this way to feel safe, so he says nothing. She smiles at him, knowing that Jonathan likes to drive a bit faster, yet she accepts him just as he is.

Helen: I love you, Carlos Sainz…

Jonathan: And I love you, my little tortoise. 

This way, both of them feel welcomed and accepted, just as they are.

Mother,

How simple it is to build love, and yet how difficult we find it. Teach us true humility, the humility that allows us to enter into what is hidden and, there, discover genuine love. Praise be to Jesus!

Beyond the Rules. Reflection for married couples. Luke 6:6-11

GOSPEL OF THE DAY

From the Gospel according to Luke 6:6-11

On a certain sabbath Jesus went into the synagogue and taught,
and there was a man there whose right hand was withered.
The scribes and the Pharisees watched him closely
to see if he would cure on the sabbath
so that they might discover a reason to accuse him.
But he realized their intentions
and said to the man with the withered hand,
“Come up and stand before us.”
And he rose and stood there.
Then Jesus said to them,
“I ask you, is it lawful to do good on the sabbath
rather than to do evil,
to save life rather than to destroy it?”
Looking around at them all, he then said to him,
“Stretch out your hand.”
He did so and his hand was restored.
But they became enraged
and discussed together what they might do to Jesus.

The Word of the Lord

Beyond the Rules

In married life, we often establish rules and expectations about what is “fair” or “reasonable”: the support we expect to receive, how we divide responsibilities, or where the limits of convenience lie. When these rules stem from a genuine desire to do what is right and are guided by the Gospel, they are helpful, as they counteract our natural tendencies towards selfishness, laziness, pride, and so on. However, Jesus invites us not to become stuck in the mere observance of rules. True conversion transforms the heart, placing love above the law. As this love matures and we allow grace to work within us, the simple standard of what is “reasonable” begins to feel insufficient. Instead, a spontaneous and profound desire emerges to care for one’s spouse. The longing to do good for our husband or wife and to seek their salvation ultimately replaces any demands or checklist of mutual obligations.

Applied to married life

Laura: Edward, sit down and have a rest for a moment. Ever since you got home from work, you haven’t stopped, and now you’re even ironing my clothes for tomorrow!

Edward: Don’t worry, I’m nearly finished. I’m not as tired today. Besides, you can’t really say anything, yesterday you worked incredibly hard helping my mother, and I was worried you’d end up hurting yourself.

Laura: Have you noticed how much our life has changed, Edward? We used to argue because each of us expected the other to fulfil their responsibilities. Now we argue because we’re trying to take work off each other’s shoulders.

Edward: Yes. These days, my greatest desire is to do what’s best for you. I can hardly even remember those task lists we used to make for one another, although I admit they helped us in the beginning.

Laura: And discovering the Eucharist together was key. You always say that’s where your real transformation began.

Mother, Help us to strive for the conversion of our hearts rather than merely the observance of rules. Praise be to God!

Looking with Your Gaze. Reflection for married couples. Luke 6:1-5

Gospel

‘Why are you doing what it is not lawful to do on the Sabbath?’
Luke 6:15

On a Sabbath, while Jesus was going through the cornfields, his disciples plucked and ate some ears of corn, rubbing them in their hands. But some of the Pharisees said, ‘Why are you doing what is not lawful to do on the Sabbath?’ And Jesus answered them, ‘Have you not read what David did when he was hungry, he and those who were with him: how he entered the house of God and took and ate the bread of the Presence, which is not lawful for any but the priests to eat, and also gave it to those with him?’ And he said to them, ‘The Son of Man is lord of the Sabbath.’

The Gospel of the Lord

Looking with Your Gaze.

Jesus, today You invite us to look with Your gaze. The Pharisees remain focused on fulfilling the law; You, however, go beyond this and look at the heart. While they see an action to judge, You, Lord, see a need to welcome and a person to love.
Lord, how many times do I look at my husband through what he lacks, through what I expect from him, through what I would like to change! And, without realising it, I stop contemplating the mystery before me: a child loved by You, a person whom You know far more deeply than I do.
Teach us to look at our husband from Your Heart. To discover in him not only that which needs to be transformed, but also the silent work of Your grace, what You are doing in secret and which our eyes are not yet able to see. Grant us the grace to receive him as that gift which we still do not know how to value sufficiently, to love him in the truth of who he is and to welcome him with gratitude, without trying to mould him to our own measure.
Lord, what do You see in my husband that I still do not know how to value? Teach me to look at him as You look at him and to love him from Your Heart.

Applied to Married Life:

Louise: Andrew, why have you bought all this? I sent you a list and told you to buy only what was necessary. There are loads of things that weren’t on the list!
Andrew: I know… But I saw some things and thought you might like them. I bought the chocolate you like and a little treat for our daughter. I just wanted to give you both a bit of joy this weekend.
Louise: Andrew… forgive me.
Andrew: Why?
Louise: Because I’m looking at what you’ve bought, but I’m not looking at your heart. You didn’t do it out of irresponsibility, but because you were thinking of us.
Andrew: I just wanted to do something thoughtful for you both. I was looking forward to coming home and surprising you.
Louise: Oh, Andrew… I can only give thanks to the Lord for showing me the poverty of my heart. How easy it is to focus on doing things properly, according to our own criteria, and to forget the person in front of us. Like the Pharisees in today’s Gospel, so focused on the rule that they forgot about the people. And I was doing the same thing to you. I was looking at the list and not at your heart… nor at the love with which you had done it.
Andrew: Don’t worry, Louise. I understand now that you only wanted to do things properly. Thank you for seeing it differently.
Louise: Today the Lord has taught me that, before looking at what you do, I want to learn to look at your heart. I want to look at your intentions, your affection and the love behind every gesture.

Mother,
teach us to look at our husband with the gaze of Your Son, to care for his heart and to discover in him the gift that God has entrusted to us. Blessed and praised be You for ever, Lord.

New marriage. Reflection for married couples. Luke 5:33-39

Gospel

‘When the bridegroom is taken away from them, then they will fast.’
Luke 5:3339

At that time: The Pharisees and scribes said to him, ‘The disciples of John fast often and offer prayers, and so do the disciples of the Pharisees, but yours eat and drink.’ And Jesus said to them, ‘Can you make wedding guests fast while the bridegroom is with them? The days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast in those days.’ He also told them a parable: ‘No one tears a piece from a new garment and puts it on an old garment. If he does, he will tear the new, and the piece from the new will not match the old. And no one puts new wine into old wineskins. If he does, the new wine will burst the skins and it will be spilled, and the skins will be destroyed. But new wine must be put into fresh wineskins. And no one after drinking old wine desires new, for he says, “The old is good.” ’

The Gospel of the Lord

New marriage

Christ refers to the Bridegroom, and inevitably He speaks directly to us married couples. Christ is the Bridegroom who comes to meet us and who wants to enter into our married life. Marriage is not simply two people trying to love one another better; it is a vocation in which Christ wants to make Himself present and renew our love.
Many times we want to live a new marriage with an old heart. We want our husband to change, our circumstances to change, for there to be more dialogue, more affection, more patience… but we continue reacting in the same way: defending our own criteria, holding on to our hurts, making demands of the other or trying to change them.
The new wine is Christ. And we are the new wineskins when we allow Him to transform us.
It is not a matter of putting a small Christian “patch” over the way we live our marriage. It is not enough to pray a little more or go to Mass on Sundays and then continue living from selfishness, demands or self-sufficiency.
Christ wants to give us a new love: a love capable of forgiving, of giving oneself, of waiting, of understanding and of seeking the good of the other before our own, and this requires a new heart.
Let us ask the Lord today not to try to mend our marriage with little patches, but to grant us «new wineskins»: a heart capable of receiving the new wine of His Love. Because when Christ renews our heart, our marriage also begins to be renewed.

Applied to Married Life:

Nicholas: I don’t know what else to do with you. We talk and we always end up the same way.
Sophie: Because you don’t listen to me either. You only want me to do things your way.
Nicholas: It’s just that you seem not to care about anything I do!
Sophie: It’s not that I don’t care. But I’m tired of feeling that, whatever I do, it’s never enough for you.
There was silence. They were both hurt. They had been trying to resolve that situation for some time, but every conversation ended up opening a new wound.
Nicholas: Perhaps we are trying to fix our marriage by our own strength.
Sophie: And what do you want us to do?
Nicholas: I don’t know… But today, in prayer, the Gospel came to me: «New wine, new wineskins». Perhaps we are asking for a new love, but we are still the same as always.
Sophie: It could be. I’ve been asking Jesus for days to change you.
Nicholas: Hehe! And I’ve been asking Him for days to change you.
Sophie: Then perhaps we are the ones who need to change.
Nicholas: Well, perhaps it is better to say that… we are the ones who need to allow Jesus to change us.
Sophie: You’re right, Nicholas! Then, in our conjugal prayer, let’s ask the Lord to change our hearts.

Mother,
Help us to allow Your Son to transform our hearts so that we may receive Him as You did. Praised be the Lord!