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See Him in the little things – Reflection for married couples – John 1:47-51

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From the Gospel according to John 1:47-51

Jesus saw Nathanael coming toward him and said of him,
“Here is a true child of Israel.
There is no duplicity in him.”
Nathanael said to him, “How do you know me?”
Jesus answered and said to him,
“Before Philip called you, I saw you under the fig tree.”
Nathanael answered him,
“Rabbi, you are the Son of God; you are the King of Israel.”
Jesus answered and said to him,
“Do you believe
because I told you that I saw you under the fig tree?
You will see greater things than this.”
And he said to him, “Amen, amen, I say to you,
you will see heaven opened
and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man.”

Seeing Him in the Little Things

How could we recognise the Lord if we were to pass Him in the street today? If we do not have a life of prayer, if we do not spend time with Him each day or have a real relationship with Him, it will be very difficult for us to recognise Him. That is why it is so important to stay close to the Lord and to receive the Sacraments. Knowing Him is not only a matter of understanding, but of relationship: spending time with Him, speaking to Him and listening to Him. He is a friend who wants to be part of our lives, but we must allow Him to enter them.

We need to be attentive to all the little gifts He gives us each day. When we get up in the morning, we can thank God for our spouse, for the new day, and ask Him to help us keep Him present in every moment. Only then, when our life becomes a constant prayer, will we be able to enjoy His presence at all times: in the small and hidden things, and also in the great things, when they come.

Brought into Married Life:

James: Do you know what happened to me today? I ran into David, and he had to stop me because I didn’t recognise him.

Charlotte: David? I don’t remember him…

James: Yes, Charlotte, that lad we invited to our wedding, the one who had a house in the mountains. We used to make lots of plans with him during the first few months of our marriage. He always surprised us because he changed girlfriends as often as he changed shirts…

Charlotte: That’s right! He was such a lovely person. But he was so lost, poor thing. We used to talk to him so much, but in the end, very politely, he basically told us and the rest of the group to get lost…

James: It’s incredible. Twenty years have gone by already. From the little he told me, he’s had a rather difficult life and it has taken its toll on him. We’ve arranged for him to come round for dinner one evening.

Charlotte: It would be lovely, James, if you could rebuild that friendship. I’m sure he would appreciate having a friend who listens to him. If he was the one who stopped you, it’s because he needs it.

James: Well, he told me I looked exactly the same as ever and asked whether I was following some sort of beauty treatment. I told him I was, and that our treatment consisted of spending time every day with a very good Friend, telling Him everything about our lives: the good things, the not-so-good things… and that, because of that, we don’t carry around great burdens and we are so happy. He laughed for a while, but it certainly made him curious.

Charlotte: Just look how beautiful that is. It’s a wonderful opportunity to help him draw close to the Lord again.

James: How good the Lord is!

Mother,

Help us to carry the Lord in our hearts at every moment and to discover Him in every detail of the day.

Blessed and praised be the Lord!

Like children – Reflection for married couples – Luke 9:46-50

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From the Gospel according to Luke 9:46–50

An argument arose among the disciples
about which of them was the greatest. 
Jesus realized the intention of their hearts and took a child
and placed it by his side and said to them,
“Whoever receives this child in my name receives me, and whoever receives me receives the one who sent me.
For the one who is least among all of you
is the one who is the greatest.”

Then John said in reply, 
“Master, we saw someone casting out demons in your name and we tried to prevent him
because he does not follow in our company.”
Jesus said to him, 
“Do not prevent him, for whoever is not against you is for you.”

Like Children

Today, Jesus shows us the path of simplicity as the way to attain happiness.

Husbands and wives, we are called to become simple, to make ourselves very small before God and, therefore, before the person who is our principal means of reaching Him: our spouse. How often we waste our time and lose our peace, going over and reasoning about what our spouse has or has not done for us, and comparing it with what we do or do not do for them.

Let us become like children. Let us abandon ourselves into the Father’s arms so that we may be raised up as children of God. For this, we have the Grace of the Sacrament, and that Grace lifts us up, if only we allow it to act.

Today is a good day to reflect: How do I face the trials of everyday life? Do I trust and accept them like a child, or do I rebel against them, try to reason everything out, allow myself to be influenced by what the world says, and feel that I do not deserve what is happening to me?

Brought into Married Life:

Mary: Darling, I’m so happy. Today I can see that the Holy Spirit is confirming that the path we are following in Proyecto Amor Conyugal comes from Him.

Andrew: I never had any doubts, but why do you feel that confirmation today?

Mary: I’m seeing other realities within the Church, with charisms different from that of Proyecto, beginning to speak about marriage in a more specific way and even organising events with teachings and experiences that are in harmony with what we live in Proyecto. At first, I was tempted to judge them and think, “What a bunch of copycats!” But today the Lord tells us that whoever is not against us is for us, and it has brought me great joy to recognise the greatness of the Church and to see how the Holy Spirit never stops “working” in defence of marriage and its indissolubility.

Andrew: You’re right. It is wonderful that the different realities within the Church support one another in strengthening the vocation of marriage. Because if we truly understand that we are united by something very sacred, and that God, through the Sacrament, is present and active in marriage, there should not be as many separations as we see among couples who say that they have faith and live by it.

Mary: Yes, it is sad, because the Lord makes all things new if we allow Him to guide our marriage. He never considers any marriage to be beyond hope.

Andrew: Of course not. After all, everything can become a means that the Lord allows for our holiness and happiness.

Mary: Exactly. But the problem arises when we want to escape the trial. Sometimes we live thinking that we do not deserve such a “toxic” relationship, and we reduce our Sacrament to a merely human relationship that can be broken when suffering comes.

Andrew: How much pain the Lord must feel when people even say that they have discerned that God’s will is for them to separate. That means not understanding what the Sacrament truly is.

Mary: From now on, let us pray for all married couples and for all the different realities within the Church, that they may recognise the need to deepen their understanding of the sacredness of marriage, so that marriage may be lived as God intended it.

Andrew: That’s a wonderful idea. Nothing belongs to us; everything comes from Him, and everything is for His Glory.

Mother

Thank you for always accompanying us through your example of simplicity and faithfulness to the Will of God. Blessed are you.

To Go or Not to Go, That Is the Question. Reflection for marriages. Matthew 21:28–32

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Gospel of the Day

From the Gospel according to Matthew 21:28–32
Jesus said to the chief priests and elders of the people:
“What is your opinion?
A man had two sons.
He came to the first and said,
‘Son, go out and work in the vineyard today.’
He said in reply, ‘I will not,’
but afterwards changed his mind and went.
The man came to the other son and gave the same order.
He said in reply, ‘Yes, sir,’ but did not go.
Which of the two did his father’s will?”
They answered, “The first.”
Jesus said to them, “Amen, I say to you,
tax collectors and prostitutes
are entering the kingdom of God before you.
When John came to you in the way of righteousness,
you did not believe him;
but tax collectors and prostitutes did.
Yet even when you saw that,
you did not later change your minds and believe him.”

To Go or Not to Go, That Is the Question
God is Love, and I, because of my self-love, become a “but” to His Love: “I would like to give myself to my husband, but what if he gets used to it?” “I would like to forgive him, but what if he does not acknowledge his mistake?” I desire to, but my pride prevents me from going to the vineyard.
In the vineyard I discover the Sun: the light of the Holy Spirit, which illuminates the truth of my heart; the water: prayer and the Word, which make my soul fruitful; the rain: sacramental grace, which causes to grow within me the life I cannot give myself; the soil: the concrete reality of my life; the hoe of my effort; the weeds of my attachments; the pruning that purifies; the wind of adversity, which disrupts my plans; the night of trial, which teaches me to trust; and the patient waiting for the harvest.
And finally, the fruit: the finest wine — our love, transfigured into Yours, my God; we in You, and You loving through us.
The Vineyard is the Life of Christ in your marriage. Are you really not going to go? Because only by going to the Vineyard will you attain that to which you have been called.
To go or not to go.
To be or not to be.
That is the question.
Applied to Married Life
John and Mary, on their wedding anniversary, alone in the early hours of the morning before the Blessed Sacrament: the Real Presence of the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Christ.
Mary: Here we are, Lord, before You, to thank You for the vineyard of our marriage and for everything You have caused to grow within it.
John: Thank You, Lord, for Mary. I see Your patience in her effort to accept me as I am, without trying to change what she does not like about me. I see her waiting and her trust, allowing You to be the One who works within me. In her, I see Your hope and Your peace.
Mary: Thank You, my God, for John. For Your gentleness when he gives up the need to be right; Your patience in his silences so as not to hurt me; Your goodness when he serves me even when he is tired. I recognise You in him.
John: We have pulled out the weeds of pride, the desire to control, anger, judgements… and we have endured pruning that we still do not fully understand. Some of it has hurt. Some of it still hurts.
Mary: Today we can clearly see that the fruit comes from You. All we do is return to the vineyard each day: to pray, to live the sacraments, to forgive one another, to renounce ourselves… And You make grow what we cannot make grow ourselves.
John: Our problems remain, but a great peace fills us, together with a mysterious joy. Joy and Peace seem to become one. We do not know which one nourishes the other. But both, held by Your hand, spring forth within our souls.
Mary: And tomorrow? We will return to the vineyard to discover what You desire for us. We do not know what it will be, but we trust, we hope and we love.
John: Because after so many years, we are beginning to understand that this vineyard is not ours.
Mary: It is Yours, Lord. And so are we.
Mother,
Show us the vineyard of your Son.
May He be forever blessed and praised,
for by His Blood He redeemed us.

Different Languages. Reflection for marriages. Luke 9:43b–45

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Gospel of the Day

From the Gospel according to Luke
9:43b–45
While they were all amazed at his every deed, Jesus said to his disciples:
“Pay attention to what I am telling you. The Son of Man is to be handed over to men.”
But they did not understand this saying; its meaning was hidden from them so that they should not understand it, and they were afraid to ask him about this saying.
Different Languages
In this Gospel, the Lord speaks to His disciples, but they do not understand what He is telling them. Their Master’s language seems obscure to them, and they fail to grasp its meaning.
The same thing often happens to us as spouses: we do not understand one another and we misinterpret what our spouse is saying, almost as though we were speaking different languages.
In reality, they are different languages, because men tend to communicate in a more conceptual way, while women’s communication is often more emotional. The same words can take on different meanings for one and the other, and this can confuse us and prevent us from grasping their deeper meaning.
Spouses, in order to build our communion, we must make the effort to allow ourselves to be known and to know the heart of our spouse and their feelings, which give meaning to their words. In this way, we can try to put ourselves in our spouse’s place. To do this, we need to know how they think, how they communicate, and the deepest parts of their heart.
How necessary conjugal prayer is for us to reach this mutual knowledge of one another’s innermost selves! What are we waiting for?
Applied to Married Life
Nuria: What’s wrong, Nacho? You seem so distant.
Nacho: You know, Nuria… I just can’t understand you. You tell me I don’t do anything, but this morning I took the children to school before going to work. When I got home, I emptied the dishwasher and put everything away. Then I went through the accounts to check our spending and make sure we can make ends meet. We went to the Eucharist together…
Nuria: You see? You’re talking about specific things. What I feel is that these past few days you’ve been distant from me, that you haven’t shown me those little signs of affection, and that you’re not doing anything to build our communion.
Nacho: And what else do you want me to do, on top of everything I’m already doing?
Nuria: I think I need more prayer with you, more conjugal prayer. We haven’t prayed together for several days, and I can feel the difference.
Nacho: It’s just that I’m going through a particularly busy period at work and I barely have any time. And when I come to bed, you’re already asleep or you’re exhausted.
Nuria: We can’t carry on like this. We need to prioritise what matters most, what is truly important: our marriage, our conjugal communion. Let’s agree on a time and set aside some time every day so that we don’t neglect what is essential: praying more, filling our hearts with what is good, with God’s Love, and making sure we don’t miss our conjugal prayer. If you don’t have time to empty the dishwasher, I’ll do it. That isn’t as important.
Nacho: Look at that! You’re always saying you don’t like doing it, so I had made that a priority because I thought it would make you happier…
Nuria: Don’t stop doing it! Of course it helps me, and I really appreciate it… but not at the expense of missing our prayer together.
Nacho: I can see that I still find it difficult to understand you sometimes. But the truth is that conjugal prayer has brought us much closer together, and it helps me to know you more deeply. All right, let’s make our prayer a priority from now on.
Mother,
teach us to pray, so that we may fill our hearts with the things of God and empty them of the things of the world, as you did, and thus bear abundant fruits of Love.
Blessed and glorious are you, Mother!
Praised be the Lord for ever!

God is Love. Reflection for marriages. Luke 9:18–22

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Gospel of the Day

From the Gospel according to Luke
Luke 9:18–22
Once when Jesus was praying in solitude,
and the disciples were with him,
he asked them, “Who do the crowds say that I am?”
They said in reply, “John the Baptist; others, Elijah;
still others, ‘One of the ancient prophets has arisen.’”
Then he said to them, “But who do you say that I am?”
Peter said in reply, “The Christ of God.”
He rebuked them and directed them not to tell this to anyone.
He said, “The Son of Man must suffer greatly
and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes,
and be killed and on the third day be raised.”

God is Love
If we were to ask people in the street, “Who is Jesus to you?”, today we would receive all sorts of different answers. But Jesus addresses each one of us directly. He wants to know who He is to me, because He loves me personally.
Each one of us can say, “God loves me completely”, without this diminishing in any way the love that others receive. God created me out of love, He calls me by name and He loves me in a unique and personal way. His Heart is so infinite that each one of us can know ourselves to be His beloved child.
And this is how special my spouse is to God too. He loves my spouse because he or she is His beloved child, unique and unrepeatable.
And this is how He asks me to love my spouse: completely, without this diminishing the love I have for my parents, my children, my friends…
Husbands and wives, do you want to show God how much you love Him? Then love one another with the love you receive from Him.

Applied to Married Life
(Santi and Anna during their marital prayer)
Santi: Anna.
Anna: Santi! You frightened me! You’d had your eyes closed for so long that I thought you’d fallen asleep in the Lord’s arms.
Santi: Haha, very funny! Darling, forgive me. The truth is that today the Lord has shown me the way He loves me: just as I am. Me, with my full name, with my family, with my sins, with my weaknesses… It’s incredible. It really moved me.
Anna: How wonderful! The Lord is so good, such a good Father. It moves me too. And I’m so happy for you, and thank you for sharing it with me, because through you He is saying it to me as well. I really needed to hear that because my prayer has felt drier and more barren for some time now. I haven’t been “feeling” anything, but I’m persevering out of love for Him.
Santi: You’re beautiful! The Lord has been purifying you for some time because I’m moving at a slower pace, and you’re accompanying me along this path with patience and so much love. I wanted to ask you something, because you’ve been receiving formation for longer than I have. Now that this love God has for me is engraved upon my heart, what would the next step be?
Anna: Well, that’s very simple. The Lord truly loves us just as we are, wherever we may be at this moment, but there is a beautiful phrase: “He dreams of us becoming saints.” So we must continue with our formation and our journey of purification, and of course with the Sacraments and prayer, so that each day the two of us may grow closer to one another and become more deeply united with Him.
Mother
Thank you for everything. We remember these words of Saint Augustine:
“You have made us for Yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in You.”
Help us each day to become more and more conformed to Your Son.
Blessed and praised be He for ever!