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For the joy! Reflections for Married Couples. John 15: 9-17

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Gospel of the Day

From the Gospel according to John 15: 9-17
At that time: Jesus said to his disciples, ‘As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.
  ‘This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another.’
The Gospel of the Lord
For the joy!
Crystal clear, isn’t it, my husband? If we want our joy to be complete, we must love each other, and there is no greater love than that which gives life. Then there will be no greater joy than giving life for you, right? This is what the Lord has chosen us for, and this is what He has destined us for. But this is what the demon insists we don’t see, because if we do, we remain in God’s love! No more, no less. Where else can we even dream of remaining? That’s how great the Lord is. This is what He has reserved for us.
Brought Down to Married Life:
Peter: I often find myself very serious, when I wake up and look at myself in the mirror, when I meet someone on the street and realize I have to change my expression to smile… I lack joy, Mary. I realize the great plan I’m missing out on if I don’t fulfill the Lord’s will. Is it hard? Of course! But isn’t it worth being joyful instead of bitter? But being joyful isn’t solely up to me, it largely depends on aspiring with hope to the greatest thing, which is to partake in God’s Love. So, I intend to love you, my wife, seeking what’s good for you. The Lord commands me to do so because He wants the best for us and our union.
Mary: You’re right, Peter. We both lack joy. I will also focus on seeking what’s good for you so that our joy may be complete. There’s no better plan.

Mother,
We love you. Thank you for leading us to the path of the Gospel in our marriage. You are the bearer of my joy, blessed Mother.

Trust and Perseverance. Reflections for Married Couples. Luke 11: 5-13

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Gospel of the Day

From the Gospel according to Luke 11: 5–13
At that time: Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Which of you who has a friend will go to him at midnight and say to him, “Friend, lend me three loaves, for a friend of mine has arrived on a journey and I have nothing to set before him”; and he will answer from within, “Do not bother me; the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed. I cannot get up and give you anything”? I tell you, though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his impudence he will rise and give him whatever he needs. And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!’
The Gospel of the Lord
Trust and Perseverance 

Today Jesus invites us to trust in God and to persevere in prayer.

Prayer is essential for knowing God and for directing our lives towards Him, even when it seems that we are not being heard. We can be tempted to give up on prayer because we receive no answer, because we feel nothing and it seems as though nothing is happening. But let us not forget that, in prayer, God is always at work.

So persevere: ask, recognising that we need God; seek, directing our lives towards Him; and knock, even when it seems that the answer is taking a long time.

God knows what you need, and He will always give you what is truly good for you. The greatest gift we can receive in prayer is not necessarily the thing we are asking for, but God Himself: the Holy Spirit, His presence and His grace.

Through this Gospel, the Lord invites married couples to share everything through conjugal prayer, where each spouse opens their heart in the presence of the other, and together they ask, seek and knock, so that they may receive the Holy Spirit and allow Him to continue guiding their marriage, enabling them to reveal His Love to a world so deeply in need of it.

Brought Down to Married Life

Arthur: What a wonderful day we’ve had, sharing in the happiness of the newlyweds.

Violet: It’s been such a beautiful wedding. And seeing our daughter so radiant with happiness, so attentive to everything and everyone, has been very special.

Arthur: Yes. We have so much to be grateful for and so many reasons to give thanks to God for all that we have received. I keep thinking about how much we have suffered with our daughter Bonnie, and how worthwhile everything we have done for her has been.

Violet: Especially all the praying we’ve done, and how much this difficult situation has brought us together. In the end, all the prayer and sacrifices we have made together have been worth it. The Lord always knew what we needed.

Arthur: Yes. The day James came into Bonnie’s life, and the way the Lord placed him in her path to help bring her back to Him, James has been such a blessing.

Violet: They are such a beautiful couple. Now we need to keep praying together for them and for ourselves, trusting that when we turn to the Lord, He knows everything we need, even when sometimes we don’t understand. We are witnesses to the fact that He knows us and knows what we need far better than we do ourselves.

Arthur: Well, let’s give it everything we’ve got! We’ve still got two more children at home. Shall we spend some time in prayer now, giving thanks for everything we’ve received?

Violet: It’s the best way to end a day filled with so much happiness.

Prayer

Mother,

Help us always to ask, seek and knock together, knowing that your Son never ceases to care for us.

Blessed be God.

Let it Be Seen. Reflections for Married Couples. Luke 1: 26-38

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Gospel of the Day

From the Gospel according to Luke 1: 26–38
At that time: The angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. And the virgin’s name was Mary. And he came to her and said, ‘Hail, full of grace, the Lord is with you!’ But she was greatly troubled at the saying, and tried to discern what sort of greeting this might be. And the angel said to her, ‘Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favour with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob for ever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.’
  And Mary said to the angel, ‘How will this be, since I am a virgin?’ And the angel answered her, ‘The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be called holy — the Son of God. And behold, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son, and this is the sixth month with her who was called barren. For nothing will be impossible with God.’ And Mary said, ‘Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.’ And the angel departed from her.
The Gospel of the Lord
Let it Be Seen

The Annunciation reminds us of something beautiful: God is still looking for hearts and lives in which He can make Himself present.

Mary was at home, in the midst of her simple life and her daily tasks, when God entered her story. The Virgin did not understand how everything was going to happen, and yet God found in her a heart that was available to Him. Through her “yes”, Mary allowed God to make Himself present in the world.

In our marriages too, God is still looking for husbands and wives who are available, where His Love can become flesh.

For this, we need to live in God’s grace and to remain attentive to the concrete moments of each day. God can become present in a conversation when we are patient and kind; in a caress that makes His tenderness present; in a difficulty that we embrace without rebelling; in a decision in which we turn to Him; in forgiveness; in the care we give to our children…

We do not need to wait for something extraordinary to happen. God continues to enter our story, right where we are and just as we are, because nothing is impossible for God.

He can work precisely through our poverty, our limitations and even our wounds, when we place them in His hands.

The Lord wants His Love to become life in us.

Mary teaches us that a heart which is available to God can become His dwelling place. And we too can become a dwelling place where Christ makes His Love visible: His patience, His tenderness, His kindness, His mercy, His forgiveness…

Can my husband or wife find something of this in me today?

Am I allowing the Love of Jesus to become flesh in me?

Brought Down to Married Life

Sara: Have you seen my charger?

David: No! Why do I always have to know where your things are?

Sara: It’s alright, love. I just wondered if you’d seen it. I’ve been looking for it for a while.

David: Well, look a bit harder. I can’t keep track of everything.

Sara: Okay. You carry on tidying up and I’ll keep looking. Have you eaten anything?

David: No.

Sara: I’ll make you something while I’m looking… Then I’ll help you with that.

David: I’m sorry. I’ve had an awful day.

Sara: I thought you might have. Come on, don’t worry. Give me a kiss!

David: Thank you, Sara. Today I saw Jesus in you.

Prayer

Mother,

How beautiful it would be if, when our spouse looked at us, they could feel just a little closer to Jesus.

The Better part. Reflections for Married Couples. Luke 10: 38-42

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Gospel of the Day

From the Gospel according to Luke 10: 38-42
At that time: Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, ‘Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.’ But the Lord answered her, ‘Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.’
 
The Gospel of the Lord
 
The Better Part

Mary was sitting at Jesus’ feet, listening to His Word. And the Lord Himself declares that what she had chosen was the one thing necessary, the better part, which no one could take away from her.

There is nothing more necessary than remaining at Jesus’ feet. Nothing greater than listening to His voice. Nothing more beautiful than contemplating the way He looks at you and discovering, in that gaze, the love with which you have been loved from all eternity; contemplating the Heart that loved you first.

I like to imagine that scene: how would Mary have looked at Jesus? How would she have drunk in every one of His words, knowing that before her stood the One who is Life itself? She would not have listened simply to know more, but to love more.

And how would Jesus have looked at that woman who, from the moment He entered her home, had surrendered herself at His feet? Mary had chosen the better part. But I would almost dare to say that, for Jesus too, it was a precious part: to have there a heart that wanted simply to be with Him, a soul that did not come first to ask Him for anything, but simply to look at Him, listen to Him and love Him.

How deeply Christ thirsts for us to remain with Him! And how much we need it ourselves!

Perhaps we busy ourselves trying to do many things for Jesus and forget that, before our works, He wants our hearts. We want to rush out to love, but how can we love with His Love if we have not first remained close to Him, the source of true love?

We learn to love at Jesus’ feet. It is there that we allow His Word to illuminate our hearts, enabling us to see our judgements, our fears and our self-love.

Let us be with Him. Let us remain in His Heart, and from there, with Him, let us go wherever He sends us.

Brought Down to Married Life

Jack: I’m feeling anxious, Em. I can’t take it any more. We never stop.

Emily: It’s true that we always have so much to do, and I get overwhelmed too. But honestly, I don’t think the problem is what we do, but what we don’t do.

Jack: What do you mean?

Emily: Well, if before doing everything we do, we spent time with the Lord in prayer, we wouldn’t be the way we are. The problem isn’t that we do too many things; it’s that we don’t pray.

Jack: Ah, so you’re reducing everything to that!

Emily: Not me. Jesus says it. Look at all these phrases from the Gospel that I wrote down the other day when I was thinking about this: “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” “Apart from Me you can do nothing.” “And you refuse to come to Me that you may have life!” “Let anyone who is thirsty come to Me and drink.”

That’s it. And yet we still think that saying, “Lord, help me!” while I’m driving the car counts as having prayed… No, Jack, it doesn’t.

Jack: Well then, what do we do?

Emily: We need to get serious about being faithful and persevering in prayer. Our mentors have told us a thousand times, and yet we’re so stubborn that we still think we can manage on our own. And above all, just think of what we’re missing out on! The best thing of all: a life with Him!

Jack: You’re right, Em. What can I say?

Emily: Well then, tell me you love me!

Jack: Oh, what would I do without you?

Prayer

Mother,

Teach us to remain together at the feet of Jesus, to listen to His Word with hunger, and to rise from prayer ready to put it into practice, giving ourselves to one another as Jesus gave Himself for His Bride, the Church.

Beaten but not defeated. Reflections for Married Couples. Luke 10: 25-37

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Gospel of the day Luke 10: 25 – 37

At that time: Behold, a lawyer stood up to put Jesus to the test, saying, ‘Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?’ He said to him, ‘What is written in the Law? How do you read it?’ And he answered, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbour as yourself.’ And he said to him, ‘You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live.’
  But he, desiring to justify himself, said to Jesus, ‘And who is my neighbour?’ Jesus replied, ‘A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead. Now by chance a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side. So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion. He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him. And the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, “Take care of him, and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.” Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbour to the man who fell among the robbers?’ He said, ‘The one who showed him mercy.’ And Jesus said to him, ‘You go, and do likewise.’

 

The Gospel of the Lord

 

Beaten but not defeated

To attain eternal life, the Lord leads us to the Scriptures, showing us how we ought to love God and our neighbour. Jesus takes it a step further and clarifies who our neighbour truly is: the one who feels mercy and puts it into action. In marriage, our neighbour is right there at home—someone to love in every circumstance. We may not find our spouse battered by bandits, but we will certainly find him wounded by sin, when temptation has overcome him and his weakness has left him crushed. In that moment, which may seem the least deserved, is precisely when he most needs our love. Will we walk past? Or even cause further harm? Only by the Grace of God can we grow in mercy. Let us ask for the Grace of our Sacrament, so that we may be a fitting help to that wounded heart.

 

Brought Down to Married Life

Rachel: Louis, I want to ask your forgiveness. This afternoon I was nervous and I treated you badly—I shouted at you and lost my temper. It felt like I wasn’t even in control of myself. And I want to thank you, because you received me with kindness, and that helped me calm down and regain control.

Louis: Honestly, I could see pure anger in your eyes—it was even a bit frightening. You must have been feeling really overwhelmed.

Rachel: I love you! There I was, shouting at you, and you were thinking about me. How do you do that?

Louis: By the Grace of God. I also remembered the advice from our marriage mentor—not to focus on myself, but to imagine you lying wounded on the road, like in the parable of the Good Samaritan, in need of care.

Rachel: I thank God for you, my love.

 

Mother,

Thank you for showing us the path of conjugal charity. Blessed are you forever. Amen.