Chosen by the Lord

This word of the Lord places us before a demanding yet deeply consoling truth: we have been chosen out of love. Not because of our own merit, but through a gratuitous calling. He invites us to live in communion with Him, within our vocation. On the path of marriage, this calling becomes concrete in loving our spouse each day as He loves, beyond every difficulty. Spouses, being taken out of the world does not mean withdrawing from reality, but rather learning to love within it with a transformed heart — with a faithful, self-giving love, open to life, able to forgive, and always seeking communion. A love contrary to what the world promotes. That is why, when we live according to this love, it is normal to experience misunderstanding or rejection, because we are going against the current. If spouses strive to live in this way, we become a visible sign of the Love of God — a faithful and fruitful love that the world so desperately needs. This is our mission.

Louisa: Alex, do you know? This phrase from today’s Gospel unsettles me: “I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” Do you really think our marriage goes against the world?
Alex: I think it does, but in the best possible sense. Loving one another as spouses, with self-giving and fidelity, does not fit with what is promoted today. Just look at television series, films, the news… everything is filled with sex without tenderness, infidelity being normalised, broken relationships… Or think about that dinner with our friends the other day — we came away exhausted from hearing so many superficialities, from seeing how people treat one another…
Louisa: It feels as though since we began this journey, the things of the world no longer attract us as they once did. But I can also see that it is distancing us from some of our friendships. I notice they look at us as though we were strange, and I feel displaced, almost out of place. It is as though our happiness together provokes rejection.
Alex: Yes, you’re right. But that is precisely where our calling lies. Choosing one another every day, forgiving one another, being open to life… that is what it means to live “outside the world.”
Louisa: So even if it causes rejection, it is not failure?
Alex: No, it is a sign that we are walking with the Lord. Our love, when lived truthfully, may unsettle others, but it will also bring light — you’ll see.
Louisa: Thinking of it that way gives me peace. Chosen… also to love better. And to be light for others.

Mother,

Teach us to live our love fully, as you lived yours, without fear of the world’s rejection. Blessed and glorious are you, Mother. Praised be the Lord forever!

At that time: Jesus said to his disciples, ‘This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another.’

The Lord gives us the key to Love: to love as He loves us, even to the point of giving His life for us. I must love as He teaches me, not in response to how I think I am being loved. How many times have we heard these Words of Jesus, but do we truly bring them into our married life? When faced with a harsh tone, an unkind response… do I still rebel and answer back to defend myself? Today, Lord, I make the firm resolution to follow Your teaching and to love as You love. Will I fall? Without doubt. But I will rise again and look to You, so that I may continue advancing on our path of holiness.

Penelope: Hello Michael, how has your day been? Have the children had their supper? I’m sorry for being late again and not letting you know, but we had to present the project today.
Michael: Hello, my love. Yes, they’ve already eaten and they’re waiting for you to read them a story.
Penelope: I’ll go and spend a little while with them, and then I’ll come and help you prepare supper.
Michael: Don’t worry, everything is already prepared.
Penelope: How wonderful! Thank you so much — I’m exhausted. I’ll be back in a moment.
(A little while later)
Penelope: Michael, I wanted to thank you. Not only did you not get upset, but you welcomed me with a smile and supper already prepared. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I’ve been completely absorbed in my work, and you’ve been taking care of everything.
Michael: Penelope, a few years ago this would have been unthinkable, and you know that better than anyone. Thanks to Our Lady placing Proyecto Amor Conyugal and the teachings of Saint John Paul in our path, we have begun to love as Jesus loves. And so everything becomes much easier. Glory be to God!

Mother

Thank you for always being there, watching over us and caring for us. We want to enter into your Immaculate Heart, for it is the most direct path to finding Jesus and learning to love as He loves us, by giving our lives. Blessed and praised be God!

At times, the commandments may seem to us like a series of rules that limit our freedom and prevent us from doing what we feel like doing. But the opposite is true: they help us to become better before God and before others, because they are founded upon the Love of God. To fulfil what the Lord asks in His commandments, we have the example of our Mother. To do this: listen to the Word in the depths of your soul, keep it in your heart as one keeps a treasure, meditate upon it, savour it, and that very Word, which comes from the Son of God, when meditated upon and savoured, gradually becomes fulfilled in our life. Little by little, like a seed that germinates, it fills everything with the Love of God. The Lord speaks to us of keeping His commandments so that His joy may be in us, and that our joy may be complete. In marriage, the search for happiness characterises us as beings created in the image of God, and we cannot renounce this. Indeed, our spouse and those around us need us to be happy. If there is one thing we must never doubt regarding God’s will for us, it is that God desires us to be joyful. Happiness is found in the Love of God, and to renounce that Love would be to lose ourselves.

Charlotte: What do you think about me picking you up from your office tomorrow after work, and then we could go out for something together?
Arthur: But it’ll end up being late, and honestly, with how tired I am, I’m not sure it’s a good idea.
Charlotte: Oh, come on, cheer up. It would do us good to break out of the routine a little and spend some time together, setting work and family obligations aside for a while.
Arthur: But how is it possible that you still feel like doing that after such an intense day at work? Besides, we have the children at home, and it’ll just delay everything else that needs doing.
Charlotte: The children are sleeping at my sister’s house tonight. They were really looking forward to spending the night with their cousins, and tomorrow they’re all going to school together. So there’s no rush for us to get home.
Arthur: I find it hard to understand that joy you seem to show all the time, whether things are going well or badly.
Charlotte: But it’s quite the opposite. The joy I have has come since I began frequenting the sacraments and discovering the good that exists in everything, in everyone, and in every circumstance. It’s true what they say: every cloud has a silver lining — we simply have to learn how to see it.
Arthur: Are you seriously telling me that all this comes from going to daily Mass and speaking to a priest?
Charlotte: Not everything, but through that I’ve discovered that it’s not others who need to change — it’s me. And as I change, I can help transform others through what I myself am receiving. Yes, I’ve gradually come to realise this as I’ve drawn closer to God.
Arthur: Well then, let’s see if you can help me realise what I need to change — though perhaps you’d better start with my boss, because he’s been making my life miserable lately.
Charlotte: That part only you can do. Why don’t you start by coming with me? Even if it’s only from time to time. You’ll soon see the results. Without even noticing, the Lord will begin to change the way you see things, and somehow He’ll transform that sadness into joy — a joy you’ll end up spreading everywhere.
Arthur: The way you’re saying all this, I’m already looking forward to you picking me up tomorrow so that some of your joy can rub off on me.

Mother,

Teach us to keep and fulfil everything that comes from your Son with the joy of being children of God. Blessed and praised be the Lord.

Connected hearts

We live in a culture where immediacy, superficiality and making this reversible prevail; where we try things, change, move from one thing to another and, without realising it, this way of living also seeps into our relationship with God. We are afraid of commitment, and instead we seek experiences that excite us and make us feel something. Yet today the Lord insistently repeats the verb “remain”: “Remain in me.” To remain is not to connect from time to time; to remain is to stay there, in the Heart of Jesus, and from there to live life with Him. This abiding is born from a life of prayer (not merely from moments of prayer), and it also requires an initial effort to avoid distractions and useless thoughts that draw us away from God, efforts to shift the focus away from ourselves and fix our gaze upon the Lord, efforts to keep our minds and affections in His Heart. But little by little, as our soul grows in this union with God, the heart becomes magnetised by the Lord, and a day comes when what is difficult is not thinking of Him and with Him. Then we will be able to say with Saint Paul, “It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.”

Mother,

You who were always united to Jesus, teach us to keep our hearts always connected. Blessed and praised be the Lord who draws us to Himself!

When we allow the prince of this world to enter our marriage, discussion, coldness, suspicion and judgement inevitably begin to grow. And then two very clear paths present themselves to us: to react from our woundedness or to choose to love, because we love the Father and desire to respond to His love. It only takes one of the two to break that spiral: to renounce being right, to take the first step, to approach with humility and ask forgiveness, to embrace with tenderness, to say a sincere “I love you”… Then something changes, because grace breaks through. And peace comes to that home. Not a superficial peace, but the peace of God: the peace that enlarges the heart, that heals, that restores true joy. A peace that does not depend on circumstances, and which the world can never give us.

Laura and Matthew had argued over their children’s summer camp. Laura was certain that the best option was to repeat the same one as every year, trusting what was familiar; Matthew, on the other hand, was convinced that they needed something new, to face different people and situations in order to grow in strength. Both defended their positions firmly… until the argument erupted. Voices were raised, words became sharper, and suddenly, silence. A tense, uncomfortable silence that drove them apart, each to opposite ends of the house, hearts heavy. Both knew what had happened. They had given in to temptation: where there should have been communion, division had entered. And this pained them deeply. Separately, they turned to prayer. In the hidden place of their hearts, they allowed the Holy Spirit to show them the path of Love: a path that involves surrendering one’s own judgement, obeying the one we love, seeking communion… and above all, desiring the true good of their children (precisely that for which they had begun to argue). For there is no greater good for a child than to witness the love between his parents. They still did not know what decision they would make. But they both knew that this was not the way. And then, almost at the same time, both stood up. Each, from their own place, decided to move towards the other. And unexpectedly, they met in the middle of the hallway. They looked at one another. They stopped. And on their faces, still weary from the struggle, there appeared the beginning of a smile that surprised them both; the Spirit also draws forth smiles. They each took another step… and embraced. And in that moment, without yet having decided on the camp, they had already chosen what mattered most: to love one another above all else.

Mother,

Teach us that the will of God always passes through sacrificial love and unity. Praised be the Lord!