‘My daughter has just died, but come, and she will live.’
Gospel according to Matthew 9:18–26
At that time: While Jesus was saying these things, behold, a ruler came in and knelt before him, saying, ‘My daughter has just died, but come and lay your hand on her, and she will live.’ And Jesus rose and followed him, with his disciples. And behold, a woman who had suffered from a discharge of blood for twelve years came up behind him and touched the fringe of his garment, for she said to herself, ‘If I only touch his garment, I will be made well.’ Jesus turned, and seeing her he said, ‘Take heart, daughter; your faith has made you well.’ And instantly the woman was made well. And when Jesus came to the ruler’s house and saw the flute players and the crowd making a commotion, he said, ‘Go away, for the girl is not dead but sleeping.’ And they laughed at him. But when the crowd had been put outside, he went in and took her by the hand, and the girl arose. And the report of this went through all that district.
In marriage there are times when something seems to have “died”: enthusiasm, communication, tenderness, the desire to understand one another, or the hope that things can change. The synagogue leader does not resign himself to the death of his daughter; he goes in search of Jesus because he believes that where human strength comes to an end, He can still act. Husbands and wives are likewise called to turn together to the Lord when they feel that their relationship can go no further. Faith does not remove difficulties, but it opens the door for God to bring back to life what seemed to have been lost. When Jesus arrives at the house, everyone believes the situation is beyond hope and they laugh at Him. A married couple may also hear voices saying, “There’s no fixing this now,” “You’ll never change,” or “It’s impossible to start again.” Jesus invites us to cast out that noise and those defeatist voices in order to enter into a place of faith. Only then does He take the little girl by the hand and raise her up.
Each spouse can ask themselves: What part of our marriage today needs Jesus to take it by the hand and raise it up? Perhaps our communication, our trust, our forgiveness or our shared prayer.
The Good News of this Gospel is that Jesus not only heals individuals; He also restores life to marriages that place themselves in His hands. Wherever husband and wife continue to believe, even if only one of them does, and even if their faith is as small as that of the woman who touched His cloak, there is always the possibility of a new beginning. As Jesus walks towards that house, He stops for a woman who had been suffering for twelve years. It might seem like an unnecessary delay, but to Jesus no one is an interruption. Married life is much the same: often one spouse carries silent wounds that the other barely notices. They need to be heard, welcomed and healed before they can continue the journey. To love also means stopping to care for your spouse’s wounds, even when your own problems seem more urgent.
The woman only touches the edge of Jesus’ cloak. Her action expresses humble trust. In marriage, small gestures of affection, an encouraging word, a sincere apology or a timely embrace can become the beginning of great healing. God often chooses to accomplish great things through small acts.
Applied to Married Life:
Matthew: Lucy, this Gospel has really made me think… What if there’s a “room” in our marriage where we’ve given something up for dead?
Lucy: I’m sure there is… Sometimes we’ve given up on patience, at other times on romance… and occasionally even on talking to each other!
Matthew: Like the synagogue leader, we should bring those things to Jesus instead of deciding they’re beyond hope.
Lucy: And like the woman in the Gospel, trust that one small gesture can begin to change everything. A hug, a kind word, asking for forgiveness…
Matthew: The hard part is silencing the “flute players”, those voices that say, “You’ll never change.”
Lucy: Well then, we’ll just have to throw them out of the house. We make enough noise ourselves as it is.
Matthew: So, where do we begin?
Lucy: By letting Jesus take us by the hand… and by you taking mine a little more often. And if, after taking my hand, you happen to invite me out for an ice cream, I think even romance might come back to life.
Matthew: Of course, my love. The little gestures are always important too. Thank you for reminding me.
Mother,
of Hope, teach us always to turn to Jesus whenever the joy or the strength to love seems to be fading from our marriage. Blessed and praised be Our Lord Jesus Christ.