At times, the commandments may seem to us like a series of rules that limit our freedom and prevent us from doing what we feel like doing. But the opposite is true: they help us to become better before God and before others, because they are founded upon the Love of God. To fulfil what the Lord asks in His commandments, we have the example of our Mother. To do this: listen to the Word in the depths of your soul, keep it in your heart as one keeps a treasure, meditate upon it, savour it, and that very Word, which comes from the Son of God, when meditated upon and savoured, gradually becomes fulfilled in our life. Little by little, like a seed that germinates, it fills everything with the Love of God. The Lord speaks to us of keeping His commandments so that His joy may be in us, and that our joy may be complete. In marriage, the search for happiness characterises us as beings created in the image of God, and we cannot renounce this. Indeed, our spouse and those around us need us to be happy. If there is one thing we must never doubt regarding God’s will for us, it is that God desires us to be joyful. Happiness is found in the Love of God, and to renounce that Love would be to lose ourselves.

Charlotte: What do you think about me picking you up from your office tomorrow after work, and then we could go out for something together?
Arthur: But it’ll end up being late, and honestly, with how tired I am, I’m not sure it’s a good idea.
Charlotte: Oh, come on, cheer up. It would do us good to break out of the routine a little and spend some time together, setting work and family obligations aside for a while.
Arthur: But how is it possible that you still feel like doing that after such an intense day at work? Besides, we have the children at home, and it’ll just delay everything else that needs doing.
Charlotte: The children are sleeping at my sister’s house tonight. They were really looking forward to spending the night with their cousins, and tomorrow they’re all going to school together. So there’s no rush for us to get home.
Arthur: I find it hard to understand that joy you seem to show all the time, whether things are going well or badly.
Charlotte: But it’s quite the opposite. The joy I have has come since I began frequenting the sacraments and discovering the good that exists in everything, in everyone, and in every circumstance. It’s true what they say: every cloud has a silver lining — we simply have to learn how to see it.
Arthur: Are you seriously telling me that all this comes from going to daily Mass and speaking to a priest?
Charlotte: Not everything, but through that I’ve discovered that it’s not others who need to change — it’s me. And as I change, I can help transform others through what I myself am receiving. Yes, I’ve gradually come to realise this as I’ve drawn closer to God.
Arthur: Well then, let’s see if you can help me realise what I need to change — though perhaps you’d better start with my boss, because he’s been making my life miserable lately.
Charlotte: That part only you can do. Why don’t you start by coming with me? Even if it’s only from time to time. You’ll soon see the results. Without even noticing, the Lord will begin to change the way you see things, and somehow He’ll transform that sadness into joy — a joy you’ll end up spreading everywhere.
Arthur: The way you’re saying all this, I’m already looking forward to you picking me up tomorrow so that some of your joy can rub off on me.

Mother,

Teach us to keep and fulfil everything that comes from your Son with the joy of being children of God. Blessed and praised be the Lord.

Connected hearts

We live in a culture where immediacy, superficiality and making this reversible prevail; where we try things, change, move from one thing to another and, without realising it, this way of living also seeps into our relationship with God. We are afraid of commitment, and instead we seek experiences that excite us and make us feel something. Yet today the Lord insistently repeats the verb “remain”: “Remain in me.” To remain is not to connect from time to time; to remain is to stay there, in the Heart of Jesus, and from there to live life with Him. This abiding is born from a life of prayer (not merely from moments of prayer), and it also requires an initial effort to avoid distractions and useless thoughts that draw us away from God, efforts to shift the focus away from ourselves and fix our gaze upon the Lord, efforts to keep our minds and affections in His Heart. But little by little, as our soul grows in this union with God, the heart becomes magnetised by the Lord, and a day comes when what is difficult is not thinking of Him and with Him. Then we will be able to say with Saint Paul, “It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.”

Mother,

You who were always united to Jesus, teach us to keep our hearts always connected. Blessed and praised be the Lord who draws us to Himself!

When we allow the prince of this world to enter our marriage, discussion, coldness, suspicion and judgement inevitably begin to grow. And then two very clear paths present themselves to us: to react from our woundedness or to choose to love, because we love the Father and desire to respond to His love. It only takes one of the two to break that spiral: to renounce being right, to take the first step, to approach with humility and ask forgiveness, to embrace with tenderness, to say a sincere “I love you”… Then something changes, because grace breaks through. And peace comes to that home. Not a superficial peace, but the peace of God: the peace that enlarges the heart, that heals, that restores true joy. A peace that does not depend on circumstances, and which the world can never give us.

Laura and Matthew had argued over their children’s summer camp. Laura was certain that the best option was to repeat the same one as every year, trusting what was familiar; Matthew, on the other hand, was convinced that they needed something new, to face different people and situations in order to grow in strength. Both defended their positions firmly… until the argument erupted. Voices were raised, words became sharper, and suddenly, silence. A tense, uncomfortable silence that drove them apart, each to opposite ends of the house, hearts heavy. Both knew what had happened. They had given in to temptation: where there should have been communion, division had entered. And this pained them deeply. Separately, they turned to prayer. In the hidden place of their hearts, they allowed the Holy Spirit to show them the path of Love: a path that involves surrendering one’s own judgement, obeying the one we love, seeking communion… and above all, desiring the true good of their children (precisely that for which they had begun to argue). For there is no greater good for a child than to witness the love between his parents. They still did not know what decision they would make. But they both knew that this was not the way. And then, almost at the same time, both stood up. Each, from their own place, decided to move towards the other. And unexpectedly, they met in the middle of the hallway. They looked at one another. They stopped. And on their faces, still weary from the struggle, there appeared the beginning of a smile that surprised them both; the Spirit also draws forth smiles. They each took another step… and embraced. And in that moment, without yet having decided on the camp, they had already chosen what mattered most: to love one another above all else.

Mother,

Teach us that the will of God always passes through sacrificial love and unity. Praised be the Lord!

How often we feel troubled, as though the Lord has gone away and we can no longer see Him. Worries, work, countless things to do — and we feel we have no time to be with the Lord. It may seem that He is the one who has gone, when in reality it is we who have drifted away. He tells us that He is “the way, the truth and the life,” yet we become distracted and fail to see Him. Spouses! He is always waiting for us to come and spend that little moment with Him. He is waiting in the Eucharist, waiting for us in prayer, waiting for us in our spouse. Let us set the world aside and enter into His Heart, because He is waiting for us. Only in Him do we find Truth and Life. Only through Him, with Him and in Him will we live fully. Take courage, spouses! Christ is with us.

Charlotte: Look, James, I’ve realised that lately I’ve been letting myself get carried away by worldly things.
James: And why do you say that, Charlotte?
Charlotte: Well, while praying yesterday, I realised that I’ve been far too focused on the social events we’ve had, worried about shopping, often for things that were unnecessary. Concerned about details that really are not worth it.
James: To be honest, I have noticed that sometimes you’ve seemed a little absorbed in shopping.
Charlotte: Not only that… I’ve also become attached to certain television series as a way to unwind. I told myself it was just to de-stress.
James: Well, I share that passion for series too, but I’m not quite sure where you’re going with this.
Charlotte: What I mean is that if I devote myself to these things, I neglect what is truly more important — prayer, the Eucharist, even you, my husband. And I start to think that I no longer have time for them, when in fact they are the most important things. Without Him we can do nothing, and He is the Way, the Truth and the Life.
James: Now that you mention it, I realise that I too have neglected our journey of faith and have allowed myself to be trapped by the excuse of “I don’t have time.”
Charlotte: Then we need to redirect ourselves and return to our path of holiness and happiness: our Sacrament, prayer, and attending the Eucharist whenever we can. What do you think?
James: I love that. In moments like this, I discover that you truly are the suitable help God has given me to lead me to Him.
Charlotte: And I give thanks to God for the husband He has given me.

Mother,

Watch over us so that we may never drift away from the Lord, and thus journey towards Heaven, where we may all rejoice together giving glory to God. Blessed and praised be the Lord forever!

Dwelling within us

The love between spouses goes beyond mere feeling. On our wedding day, we committed ourselves to keep our marital promises. I give myself to you and promise to be faithful to you… in health and in sickness… When you are having a difficult day, in moments of weakness… when we wholeheartedly accept and live out these promises, we allow Jesus and the Father to make their dwelling in our marriage, and we allow the Holy Spirit to manifest His gifts in our hearts. This transforms our whole life. The Holy Spirit, who has been present between us since the day we were married, needs us to give Him “permission” through our intention and our actions in order to work within us.

Applied to married life:

Arthur: Lucy, since I became aware that when I promised at our wedding to be faithful to you, it also meant maintaining purity in my actions and in my thoughts, how much my heart has changed! Thank you for how much you have helped me in this.
Lucy: I have changed a great deal too. Before, I often thought badly of you, and that caused my heart to receive you with distrust. I was not being the help God was asking me to be.
Arthur: At first it was very difficult for me, and it was a great struggle, but over time it has become the most natural thing — embracing this logic of God.
Lucy: This is what we saw the other day in the catechesis: when we manage to grow in the virtue of purity, which is usually difficult for us, it disposes us to receive it as a gift of the Holy Spirit, just as today’s Gospel says.
Arthur: What joy that the Holy Spirit has manifested Himself in this. Now that Pentecost is approaching, it is a wonderful time to celebrate it.

Mother,

May we fulfil the commands of Jesus through love, so that He and the Father may make their dwelling in our hearts. Praised be God!