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The Lord surprises us. Reflection for married couples. Luke 22:24-30

Gospel

‘I assign to you, as my Father assigned to me, a kingdom.’
Luke 22:24-30

At that time: A dispute also arose among the Apostles, as to which of them was to be regarded as the greatest. And Jesus said to them, ‘The kings of the Gentiles exercise lordship over them, and those in authority over them are called benefactors. But not so with you. Rather, let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves. For who is the greater, one who reclines at table or one who serves? Is it not the one who reclines at table? But I am among you as the one who serves.
  ‘You are those who have stayed with me in my trials, and I assign to you, as my Father assigned to me, a kingdom, that you may eat and drink at my table in my kingdom and sit on thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel.’

The Gospel of the Lord

The Lord surprises us.

How often the Lord surprises us! And how often He would like to surprise us, but we do not let Him! The initiative comes from Him, but we need to allow ourselves to be transformed by His grace. From God we receive the call, the vocation, the Faith, the strength, the grace… but it is our task to welcome them and live them. When we abandon ourselves to Him and set aside our own ways of thinking, He acts and the impossible becomes possible. Then we can say, like Peter: Lord, depart from me, for I am a sinful man. Because we see His power and greatness and our nothingness. And, as He did with Peter, He also says to us: do not be afraid, take courage, get up, I am with you. In our marriage too, we must allow the Lord to get into our boat, and we will obtain a miraculous catch, something unimaginable: a holy marriage. God always fills us to overflowing. Blessed be God and blessed be the Sacrament of Matrimony

Applied to Married Life:

Margaret and Jonathan have been distant from one another for several days. Every time they try to talk about a problem concerning the children, they end up arguing.
Jonathan: We always end up like this. There’s no way of talking to you.
Margaret: You never listen to me.
They are both tired. They both believe they are right. They both feel that they have already done everything they possibly can.
After a few minutes of silence, Margaret remembers the scene of the miraculous catch of fish and thinks: «Perhaps we are trying to keep our marriage going by our own strength. Perhaps the Lord is asking me to do something that, right now, I do not want to do».
Margaret: I don’t feel like talking right now. I’m hurt and I still think I’m right. But I don’t want things to end like this. Could we ask the Lord to get into our boat?
Jonathan: I don’t feel like it either, and I’m hurt too. And I think you don’t understand how I feel. But… perhaps you’re right. We are trying to solve everything on our own. Let’s turn to prayer, shall we?
Margaret: Lord, we don’t know how to get out of this. We have cast our nets and caught nothing. But if You tell us where to cast them, we want to trust in You.
Jonathan: Margaret, forgive me. Before trying to make you understand my point of view, I should have tried to understand your heart.
Margaret: And you forgive me too. I was more concerned with defending myself than with loving you.
The problem does not magically disappear that night. But something has changed: they have allowed the Lord into their boat. And where before there was only weariness, reproaches and helplessness, a new grace begins to appear: humility, forgiveness and hope. ‎

Mary,
Our Mother. Teach us to live alongside Jesus at every moment. Blessed are you, Mother

Everything as You Would, Lord. Reflection for married couples. Luke 4:38-44

Gospel

‘I must preach to the other towns as well; for I was sent for this purpose.’
Luke 4:38-44

At that time: Jesus arose and left the synagogue and entered Simon’s house. Now Simon’s mother-in-law was ill with a high fever, and they appealed to him on her behalf. And he stood over her and rebuked the fever, and it left her, and immediately she rose and began to serve them.
  Now when the sun was setting, all those who had any who were sick with various diseases brought them to him, and he laid his hands on every one of them and healed them. And demons also came out of many, crying, ‘You are the Son of God!’ But he rebuked them and would not allow them to speak, because they knew that he was the Christ.
  And when it was day, he departed and went into a desolate place. And the people sought him and came to him, and would have kept him from leaving them, but he said to them, ‘I must preach the good news of the kingdom of God to the other towns as well; for I was sent for this purpose.’ And he was preaching in the synagogues of Judea.

The Gospel of the Lord

Everything as You Would, Lord.

Dear Lord, what a great gift You have given us, impossible to thank You for sufficiently. By becoming man, You have not only redeemed us and opened the gates of Heaven, but You also teach us how to live.
We only have to listen to You. In silence. Attentive to what You want to tell us. And then put it into practice.
In this Gospel we see You giving Your life. Giving every moment of Your day to others. With one key aspect: sustained by prayer, seeking to do the Father’s will on every occasion. Helping, evangelising, giving Yourself… Without considering Your tiredness, without looking to see whether people returned the favour. Without looking at Yourself. Looking only to the Father and to our neighbour.
Lord, may I give myself to my spouse in this way. Without looking at myself. Without keeping score. Without expecting anything in return. Turning away from my own ways of thinking. Seeking only to do Your Will. Doing everything as You would do it.
Help me to forget myself, to look only to You and to dedicate myself solely to giving myself on every occasion, welcoming everything with Your love. To love as You would love.
Jesus, help me to persevere. I will do my part: prayer, the sacraments, formation and acts of love. You will do the rest.
A thousand thanks, Lord, for giving me the grace to achieve this.

Applied to Married Life:

Luke: Louise, forgive me. In my prayer I realised that yesterday I was very focused on myself, hardly putting myself in your shoes at all. And that made me more irritable, and I spoke badly to you. Forgive me.
Louise: Thank you so much, Luke. I give great thanks to God for what He is doing in our hearts. We used to experience many situations like that, but we didn’t realise what was happening and blamed each other. Without prayer, God cannot give us His light; He cannot guide us.
Luke: Without a doubt. Without prayer, it is inevitable that I see life only from my own perspective. And I deceive myself into thinking that I am right. Without God’s light, I am walking in darkness. And in prayer, when I am silent and listen to Him, God guides me.
Louise: Yes, and He shows me my selfishness, my attachments… so that, from there, I can set myself concrete tasks to free myself from these disordered attachments and grow in virtue and love.
Luke: It is true that it is difficult. Especially at first, what I found hardest was persevering in prayer and remembering to keep working on those tasks. And when I didn’t do it, I would return to the hell of seeing everything in a negative light. But by persevering, God is able to do His work in our hearts, and it is a liberation. How great the Lord is!

Mother,
Please help us to persevere in prayer and on the path of purification, so that Your Son may teach us to love. Blessed and praised be God!

Just and holy. Reflections for married couples. Mark 6:17-29

Gospel according to Mark 6:1729
At that time: Herod had sent and seized John and bound him in prison for the sake of Herodias, his brother Philip’s wife, because he had married her. For John had been saying to Herod, ‘It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife.’ And Herodias had a grudge against him and wanted to put him to death. But she could not, for Herod feared John, knowing that he was a righteous and holy man, and he kept him safe. When he heard him, he was greatly perplexed, and yet he heard him gladly.
  But an opportunity came when Herod on his birthday gave a banquet for his nobles and military commanders and the leading men of Galilee. For when Herodias’s daughter came in and danced, she pleased Herod and his guests. And the king said to the girl, ‘Ask me for whatever you wish, and I will give it to you.’ And he vowed to her, ‘Whatever you ask me, I will give you, up to half of my kingdom.’ And she went out and said to her mother, ‘For what should I ask?’ And she said, ‘The head of John the Baptist.’ And she came in immediately with haste to the king and asked, saying, ‘I want you to give me at once the head of John the Baptist on a platter.’ And the king was exceedingly sorry, but because of his oaths and his guests he did not want to break his word to her. And immediately the king sent an executioner with orders to bring John’s head. He went and beheaded him in the prison and brought his head on a platter and gave it to the girl, and the girl gave it to her mother. When his disciples heard of it, they came and took his body and laid it in a tomb.
Just and holy
Today we celebrate the martyrdom of St John the Baptist, the first martyr who gave his life defending the truth about marriage. His mission was to prepare the way for an encounter with Jesus, to prepare hearts, and, being docile to God’s will even to the point of giving his life, he fulfilled it by calling people to conversion and proclaiming the truth on every occasion. And this made him just and holy.

We too, as husbands and wives, are called to be like John the Baptist for one another, helping each other to prepare our hearts on the journey towards an encounter and union with Jesus. But not through imposition or control, because we are not the source of the other person’s good: God is the source of all Good. We are instruments and stewards of that Good, called to receive it and give it to one another.

My spouse is a gift from God, but does not belong to me. To love is not to possess: whoever loves seeks the good of the beloved and desires to please them, while respecting their freedom. The Catechism reminds us that “there is no true freedom except in the service of what is good and just” (CCC 1733). Free will allows us to choose; God’s Will shows us the good to which we are called. Our freedom reaches its fulfilment when we freely choose that Good and unite ourselves to God’s loving will.

Therefore, we spouses, who promised to love and respect one another every day of our lives, are called to live out this respect especially when accompanying one another on the journey towards Christ, even when our pace is different. Marriage consists in giving ourselves to one another, placing our gifts at the service of the common good, and helping each other to grow in intimacy with Christ, without becoming an obstacle to one another and always seeking the true good of our spouse and of the whole family.

God Himself respects our freedom and awaits our “yes”; Mary too, as our Mother, leads us towards Him without imposing herself upon us. Therefore, in marriage we are called to accompany one another without becoming an obstacle, fostering a personal encounter with Christ, caring for our prayer as a couple and walking together, each at our own pace, while also helping our children to walk towards our true destination: Heaven.

Brought into married life

Bea: Bruno, I’ve been offered the opportunity to go on a retreat this weekend. As I was praying about it, I feel that the Lord is placing it before me so that I can draw closer to Him.
Bruno (he remains silent, but inwardly it hurts him that his wife wants to spend a weekend away from him. The following day, after praying about it, he says): At first, I wanted to tell you no. I thought about the children, everything that needed to be done and how it wasn’t the best time. But, if I’m honest, there was also some selfishness in me: it was difficult for me to accept you going away and having to stay here on my own.
Bea: Oh, my dear Bruno! How grateful I am that you’ve told me. I don’t want to impose it on you either. I want to discern it together with you, because whatever God wants for me must also be a good for our marriage and our family.
Bruno: That’s what I realised afterwards in prayer. You are a gift from God to me. So, if the Lord is calling you to this encounter, I don’t want to be an obstacle. To love you is to desire your good and respect your freedom, and I love you, Bea.
Bea: Thank you. I love you too, and if I want to go, it is so that I can be filled with more of God, not so that I can distance myself from you all. I want to come back with a heart more filled with Him, so that I can love you and our children better.
Bruno: Then go in peace. I’ll stay with the children and support you. I understand now: if He wants to give you something there, it can also become a gift for all of us. Go and fill yourself up, and then come back and fill me with goodness through lots of kisses and cuddles… hahaha.
Bea: Hahaha… that’s exactly what I’ll do, my love. Thank you so much. You help me greatly to prepare the way towards the Lord: not possessing one another or holding each other back, but drawing closer to Him together.

Mother,
Teach us to be truly free, always choosing what is good and God’s will, always saying yes to Him, with a meek and humble heart like yours. **Blessed and glorious are you, Mother! May the Lord be praised for ever!**

Living in a state of Grace. Reflections for married couples. Matthew 25:1-13

Gospel according to Matthew 25:113
At that time: Jesus told his disciples this parable, ‘The kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. For when the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them, but the wise took flasks of oil with their lamps. As the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and slept. But at midnight there was a cry, “Here is the bridegroom! Come out to meet him.” Then all those virgins rose and trimmed their lamps. And the foolish said to the wise, “Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.” But the wise answered, saying, “Since there will not be enough for us and for you, go rather to the dealers and buy for yourselves.” And while they were going to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast, and the door was shut. Afterwards the other virgins came also, saying, “Lord, lord, open to us.” But he answered, “Truly, I say to you, I do not know you.” Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour.’
Living in a state of Grace

When reading this parable, we may think that the wise virgins should have left some of their oil for the foolish ones. Humanly speaking, we may feel “sorry” for those five careless virgins who left their reserve of oil behind and went out to meet the bridegroom without being properly prepared. But the Lord gives us a very profound teaching here: the wise virgins represent the attitude of the believer who lives with their heart ready for Christ’s coming, and this attitude is personal and cannot be transferred, just as faith and Grace are. We can thus see the importance of living in a state of Grace, prepared to meet the Lord, for we never know when that moment will come. So, married couples, let us be prepared! Let us frequently receive the Sacraments, especially Confession, the Eucharist and our Sacrament of Marriage, in which Grace is made present in every act of self-giving and welcoming. And let us deepen our spousal relationship and our relationship with the Lord through marital and personal prayer. In this way, we will be prepared and watchful when the Bridegroom comes.

Applied to Married Life:

Michael: Hi, darling. How are you? You look very serious.
Amelia: Ugh! You can’t imagine… my mother has just called me and told me that my cousin Robert has died.
Michael: Oh, I’m so sorry. What happened?
Amelia: It was a car accident. He was on his way to a work meeting when another car crossed his path. I still can’t believe it; it feels like a nightmare. Just yesterday I was talking to him and he told me about a Marriage retreat they had attended and how it had changed their lives. And now this, with his children being so young. And do you know what my mother told me?
Michael: What?
Amelia: That Maria, who is now his widow, is at peace. She has the consolation that this weekend they had been to Mass and Robert had gone to Confession. So, despite the great pain, she has the consolation that he died in a state of Grace.
Michael: What faith! What an impressive and beautiful testimony. If you agree, let’s pray for Robert’s soul, and when some time has passed, we’ll go and visit Maria. I’m sure she will appreciate it, and we can ask her about that retreat and how it changed their lives. It must be something truly special.
Amelia: Thank you so much, Michael. I would really like to go and see her and make that retreat in memory of Robert. I know he would have loved it.

Mother,

You are our example of faith and humility. Help us to persevere so that, on the day the Lord calls us, we may have our lamps filled with the finest oil. Blessed be our Lord in the Most Blessed Sacrament of the Altar!

Be alert. Reflections for married couples. Matthew 24:42-51

Gospel according to Matthew 24:4251
At that time: Jesus said to his disciples, Stay awake, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming. But know this, that if the master of the house had known in what part of the night the thief was coming, he would have stayed awake and would not have let his house be broken into. Therefore you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.
  ‘Who then is the faithful and wise servant, whom his master has set over his household, to give them their food at the proper time? Blessed is that servant whom his master will find so doing when he comes. Truly, I say to you, he will set him over all his possessions. But if that wicked servant says to himself, “My master is delayed”, and begins to beat his fellow servants and eats and drinks with drunkards, the master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he does not know, and will cut him in pieces and put him with the hypocrites. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’
Be alert.

The Lord does not ask us to guess when He will come, but to let Him find us loving. It is a call to live in vigilance, faithfulness and responsibility, not out of fear, but out of love for the Lord who is coming. The best preparation for His coming is faithfulness in the little things: a kind word, a forgiveness offered, a service carried out with joy. To keep watch means not allowing routine, selfishness or comfort to cool our love, but remaining attentive to the needs of the other and open to God’s grace. In marriage, this vigilance does not consist in waiting for some extraordinary event, but in being attentive to the heart of our spouse. The Lord comes to meet us through the needs of the other: in a tiredness that calls for understanding, in a silence that hides a wound, in a request for help or in an opportunity to forgive. The “faithful and wise servant” is the husband or wife who never stops caring for the love they have received. It is the one who does not wait to feel inspired to serve, but has made service a way of life. Marital fidelity is built in everyday life, when no one notices and it seems that the effort goes unnoticed. We are in danger of thinking: “My master is taking a long time to come.” In the day-to-day life of marriage, this happens when we stop caring for the relationship because we think there will always be time to talk, ask for forgiveness, pray together or show affection. Little by little, routine, indifference and the pursuit of our own interests appear. The heart falls asleep and love loses its strength. Christ invites us today to remain awake. Every day is an opportunity to love as He loves. Every act of self-giving prepares our hearts for His coming and strengthens the marital union. The best way to wait for the Lord is to let Him find us loving one another, serving one another and walking together towards holiness.

Applied to Married Life:
Mónica: Raúl, we have had a heavy workload for several weeks and it seems that we do not even have time to talk.
Raúl: Just a moment, Mónica, I have to reply to a message on my phone and then we can talk for a while.
Mónica: You see, it seems that the phone is the most important thing, the best refuge for not wanting to see how we are becoming distant.
Raúl: You’re right, Mónica. I’ll put the phone away now. I have noticed it too, but I didn’t want to take the first step to try to resolve this difficult moment. I have let myself be carried away by my selfishness, even thinking that you hadn’t noticed.
Mónica: Don’t worry, I have also let myself be carried away and I haven’t done much to try to draw closer to you. I have taken refuge in work and, when I get home, the phone has also been a great excuse.
Raúl: This morning, when I had a little time to read today’s Gospel, it really struck me, and I realised that I had been waiting for you to take the first step for some time, because I was only looking at myself. I came home intending to change, and the first thing I did was put the phone between you and me.
Mónica: I also found a little time to pray with the Gospel and realised something similar to what you are telling me. Let’s begin: how was your day?
Raúl: You’re wonderful. How about we work together on the things that need doing around the house now, put the children to bed and then spend some time together, sharing what we have in our hearts and, while we’re at it, getting back to our time of prayer.
Mónica: I think that is the best way to start again. That way I can tell you everything I have been reflecting on in my heart for some time.
Raúl: I can’t wait for that moment. I have left you alone these past few days, and it is affecting me much more than it seems. I’ll start tidying the kitchen and preparing dinner.
Nothing spectacular happened. Simply, one of them decided to watch over their love instead of waiting for the other to take the first step. That was how the Lord found them being a faithful marriage in the little things.
Mother:

Help us to be a marriage that is faithful in the little things every day and to keep watch so that the love of God may reign in our lives. Glory to God.