Gospel

‘Because of hardness of heart Moses allowed wives to be divorced, but from the beginning it was not so.’
Matthew 19:3–12

At that time: Pharisees came up to Jesus and tested him by asking, ‘Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?’ He answered, ‘Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no one separate.’ They said to him, ‘Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?’ He said to them, ‘Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.’
  The disciples said to him, ‘If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.’ But he said to them, ‘Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.’

The Gospel of the Lord

At the beginning it was not so.

The Pharisees try to put Jesus in a difficult position by asking Him this question, and He refers them back to the beginning, to Genesis, to the creation of man and woman. Dear couples of the Marital Love Project, how well known and loved this passage is to us! It is on this passage that Saint John Paul II based his catecheses on Marriage and the Family. The Marital Love Project carries on this legacy, which is doing so much good; there are many people evangelising and bringing the Good News to the whole world. And you, dear couples, do you still not know about it? What are you waiting for?

Applied to Married Life:

(Martha and Luke finish their conjugal prayer)
Luke: Thank You, Lord. Blessed and praised are You.
Martha: Thank You, Lord. And thank you too, Luke. I love that you share with me what the Lord says to you; it helps me to see the truth and beauty of your soul.
Luke: How beautiful you are, darling.
Martha: You know? Today we celebrate the feast of Saint Maximilian Kolbe. I read about him this morning—it’s incredible. He gave his life in a concentration camp during the Second World War in exchange for the life of a father of a family.
Luke: Goodness, he understood the value of a father within the family.
Martha: And it has taken me so long to see it. I always put the children first and left you to one side. Forgive me, because I know I hurt you deeply.
Luke: You stopped doing that a long time ago. How much good the Marital Love Project has done for our family. It has also helped me to see how important it is for our children to see us united and praying. Loving one another is the most important thing so that they feel loved and protected.
Martha: Blessed be God! You really are my Suitable Helper!

Mother,
We remember the words of Saint Maximilian Kolbe: “Where the Immaculate One enters, Jesus enters, He who is the King of love, peace and joy”, so, dear Mother, we invite you to enter into the depths of our hearts. Blessed are You!

Gospel

‘I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.’
Matthew 18:21–19:1

At that time: Peter came up and said to Jesus, ‘Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.
  ‘Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, “Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.” And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, “Pay what you owe.” So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, “Have patience with me, and I will pay you.” He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, “You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?” And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.’
  Now when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan.

The Gospel of the Lord

Forgive from the Heart.

Peter asks Jesus how many times he must forgive, as though love could be measured with a calculator. Sometimes in marriage it is easy to keep a tally of our wounds: “I’m always the one who gives in”, “you never listen to me”, “I still haven’t forgiven you for that”, and without realising it, we turn our relationship into a balance sheet of debts. The king forgives an unpayable debt, but the servant is unable to forgive a small debt. Jesus does not compare the offences between husband and wife with something insignificant; rather, He invites us to contemplate how every wound we receive is illuminated by the immense forgiveness God grants us each day. When God’s mercy is no longer at the centre of our marriage, we begin to demand justice from one another. But whoever lives with gratitude for having been forgiven learns to look upon their spouse’s weaknesses with compassion. In married life, the greatest enemy is the small resentment that gradually builds up. Every unresolved argument, every silence, every stored-up reproach builds a wall, but forgiveness breaks that wall because it chooses not to collect the emotional debt. This does not mean justifying what is wrong or avoiding talking about what happened, but deciding that love will be greater than the offence. To forgive always means choosing one’s spouse again and again over pride; it means allowing God’s mercy to pass through our heart before reaching the other person. Only someone who knows that they are deeply loved and forgiven by the Lord can build a marriage where there is always the possibility of beginning again.

Applied to Married Life:

Margaret: James, I’m tired of you always coming home late from work, always with some excuse. It seems as though work is more important than your family. You’ve left us so neglected. I work too, and I make an effort to get everything done. Yet with you it always seems to be the same: lots of apologies, but you still come home late.
James: There’s no winning with you. Believe it or not, I always try to come home earlier, but there’s always something. It gives me peace of mind knowing that you make the effort to get home earlier, but no matter how hard I try, it’s always the same. I feel judged and constantly criticised. Sometimes I think that no matter what I do, it never seems to be enough.
That evening, during their conjugal prayer:
Margaret: Thank You, Lord. In the light of this Gospel, I realise that I’m no longer arguing with James just about today’s delay, but about all the wounds that have been stored up over these weeks of intense work.
James: Lord, I ask for forgiveness many times, but I’m not making concrete changes to show that I mean it. I realise that I always prioritise what I consider important, putting myself before others.
Margaret: Lord, help me to stop bringing up mistakes that have already been forgiven and to give James the opportunity to begin again.
James: Help me, Lord, to put Margaret and our family before my own things and my own self. I ask You to help us make our marriage stand out not because of our debts, but because of God’s mercy.

Mother,
Your Son never tires of forgiving us. Help us to experience the immensity of God’s mercy each day, so that we may offer that mercy to one another. Give us a humble heart that knows how to ask for forgiveness, and a merciful heart that knows how to grant it. Blessed be God

Gospel

‘If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.’
Matthew 18:15–20

At that time: Jesus said to his disciples, ‘If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.’

The Gospel of the Lord

Hearts of Reparation

The Good Shepherd goes out in search of the lost sheep, and today Jesus teaches us that we too must go out to meet them. All the baptised are members of one Body, the Body of Christ, which is the Church. Saint Paul says: “If one member suffers, all suffer with it” (1 Cor 12:26). That is why Jesus does not leave us indifferent to our brother’s sin, but calls us to go in search of him: “If he listens to you, you have won your brother.” When one member is wounded, the whole Body suffers with him. When we physically suffer a wound, millions of platelets silently rush to close it so that the body does not bleed to death. My sin, the sin of my spouse, my children, or any of my brothers and sisters, opens wounds in the Body of Christ, and we, as members of that same Body, are called to run towards them with our prayer, our sacrifice and our love. When we hear about a scandal, or see a brother’s sin, what do we do? Do I judge, criticise, make the wound worse, spread it? We need to pray for the wound that sin has left in the Church. Jesus wants us to be like those platelets that rush to the wound quickly, silently, without making a noise, without attacking, but helping to heal. Christian husbands and wives, who will repair the Heart of Jesus and the Heart of Mary? There is no time to lose! Every act of reparation closes a wound, and every sacrifice strengthens the whole Body. Let us pray, as the little shepherds of Fatima did, the prayer that the Angel taught them: “My God, I believe, I adore, I hope and I love You. I ask forgiveness for those who do not believe, do not adore, do not hope and do not love You.”

Applied to Married Life:

Margaret: Have you heard what happened to that couple from the school? It’s dreadful! I have to tell my sister; she won’t believe it…
Liam: Wait, wait. What if instead of telling her, we pray for them?
Margaret: Pray? But we don’t even know them! What they have done is terrible!
Liam: Precisely because of that… They don’t need us to make the wound bigger by talking about them; they need someone to help heal it through prayer.
Margaret: You’re right. I thought there was nothing we could do… but you’re right, we can pray for them tonight.
Liam: “Where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” So, if we pray together for them, Jesus will make Himself present, and then our little prayer at home will become a bridge between heaven and earth.
Margaret: How beautiful! Here we are praying for them in our sitting room, while they have no idea that someone is praying for their marriage.
Liam: We can also offer our silence to the Lord, choosing not to tell others about it. What do you think?
Margaret: Of course! How many times could we turn our conversations about others into prayers for them!

Mother,
make us little hearts of reparation. Blessed and praised are You!

Jesus said to his disciples:

“Amen, amen, I say to you,
unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies,
it remains just a grain of wheat;
but if it dies, it produces much fruit.
Whoever loves his life loses it,
and whoever hates his life in this world
will preserve it for eternal life.
Whoever serves me must follow me,
and where I am, there also will my servant be.
The Father will honor whoever serves me.”

Dying with Joy

In today’s first reading, Saint Paul exhorts us to give cheerfully. In our marriage, we must discover the joy of giving ourselves completely to our spouse. We are called to die to our own way of thinking, our preferences, our pride and self-love, so that the seed of God’s Kingdom may grow within our hearts and our home.

If we do this reluctantly or merely out of obligation, what kind of fruit will it bear? We all know the answer from experience. This does not mean that self-giving is easy, but rather that we can have the peace of knowing we are living according to our vocation. Little by little, the Lord transforms our hearts.

Only through God’s grace can we die with joy. Let us ask Him for that grace.

Applied to Married Life

Peter: I don’t understand why you’re so unhappy! I’m doing everything I’m supposed to do. I come home early, I’ve sold my motorbike, I no longer spend all morning cycling… I hardly recognise myself anymore! And yet it still doesn’t seem to be enough.

Lucy: Peter, but you keep bringing those things up whenever we talk, and you do it with such resignation and sadness that it feels as though you’re not grateful for the life we have together.

Peter: It’s just so difficult, Lucy. I was deeply attached to all of that, and I’m constantly reminded of everything I’ve given up. Sometimes those sacrifices leave me feeling bitter, and I even wonder whether it’s all worth it.

Lucy: It’s always harder at the beginning. I struggle too. During prayer, I ask the Lord to enlighten me so that I can see that this renunciation, this dying to myself, is what makes our union possible. It is my response to my vocation as your wife.

Peter: You’re right. Too often I rely on my own strength instead of turning to the Lord. I also fail to notice the beauty that is growing in our marriage. That’s where I need to keep my eyes fixed: on the Lord and on the vocation He has given us.

Mother,

Help us to die to everything that separates us from the love of God and from our vocation as husband and wife.

Praised be God!