Without Expecting Any Reward – Reflection for married couples -Luke 14:12-14

Gospel of the day

From the Gospel according to Luke 14:12-14

On a sabbath Jesus went to dine
at the home of one of the leading Pharisees.
He said to the host who invited him,
“When you hold a lunch or a dinner,
do not invite your friends or your brothers or sisters
or your relatives or your wealthy neighbors,
in case they may invite you back and you have repayment.
Rather, when you hold a banquet,
invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind;
blessed indeed will you be because of their inability to repay you.
For you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”

Without Expecting Any Reward

When we extend an invitation, we might think that we are offering something of our own to others — our home, our food, our time — and so we tend to do it with those we love. It’s also common to expect that those who appreciate us will respond in kind; we even consider it fair to expect reciprocity. Yet the Lord’s logic is quite different. His justice works in another way. What I have is not truly mine — it has been freely given to me, and so I must share it freely, without expecting anything in return.

In fact, Jesus encourages us to give precisely when we know we won’t be repaid, so that our desire to give of ourselves (without expecting a return) may be genuine. He knows our weakness. In marriage, those moments when we give ourselves — even knowing that our spouse will not reciprocate (perhaps because of sin, illness, or temperament) — are precisely when we are fulfilling this command of Jesus.

There are many times when that resurrection and that reward do come in this life (we in the Marital Love Project have witnessed it), and others when we shall have to wait until eternal life. Only God knows.

Brought into Married Life

Paul: Lucy, the psychologist has confirmed the diagnosis we feared. All my difficulties stem from a syndrome that prevents me from showing emotions and understanding social relationships. I’m not going to be able to give you what you’ve so often asked for. This is for life — I can only improve superficially.

Lucy: I’ve been reading about it, trying to understand how I can help you. And today’s Gospel happened to speak exactly about this. I’ve always asked you — and sometimes even demanded — to be more affectionate and attentive, and that’s caused many of our arguments. The Lord is asking me to welcome you as you truly are. He knows the depths of your heart, and He tells me that you are His delight. He will help me to know you more deeply and love you better. You’ve taken a very important step for me, my love. Thank you for wanting to seek answers.

Paul: I was afraid you wouldn’t want to spend the rest of your life with me after finding this out.

Lucy: Paul, the Lord chose us to be together from all eternity. He doesn’t make mistakes, and I trust in Him. This is the path of our happiness — and of our holiness.

Mother,

May our joy be found in giving of ourselves without expecting anything in return.

Amen. Praise be to God!

A scan of the heart of Jesus – Reflection for married couples -Matthew 5:1-12

Gospel of the day

From the Gospel according to Matthew 5:1-12

‘Blessed are the poor in spirit.’

At that time: Seeing the crowds, Jesus went up on the mountain, and when he sat down, his disciples came to him. And he opened his mouth and taught them, saying: ‘Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven.’

An Scan of the Heart of Jesus

We often recommend turning our gaze towards the Heart of Christ when reading the Gospel. Today, we suggest it especially, because Jesus speaks to us about happiness — and straight away, we tend to focus on finding the key to happiness, hoping that at last… it might fully arrive.

But if Jesus describes who the blessed are, it is because He desires to make them blessed. Therefore, by meditating on the Beatitudes, we are delving into the very longings of the Heart of Jesus.

Brought into Married Life

Clara: We often pray to be in the Heart of Jesus and to live everything from within it. But how can we actually do that?

Leo: Certainly by getting to know Him — so that we may have “the same mind as Christ Jesus.” And for that, there’s no better ultrasound than the Beatitudes. In them, He reveals His deepest desires.

Clara: For example, His special tenderness towards those most in need. He watches over you especially when you need Him most.

Leo: And His love for those who suffer for His sake — how deeply He loves you when you are criticised for loving Him.

Clara: Or for those who show mercy. How much I should value you each time you reach out to someone despite their sin.

Leo: And for those who strive to bring about God’s will, as He did, offering themselves to bring peace. We are truly in His Heart when we carry our cross to bring His peace to others.

Clara: And then there are the pure of heart. I see there especially those whom Jesus called His mother and His brothers — those who hear the Word and keep it. How deeply He values that kind of sincerity and faithfulness. That’s what He wants for us too — no criticism, no complaints, no double-heartedness.

Leo: There’s so much to learn about the Heart of Jesus in the Beatitudes, isn’t there?

Clara: I love it. I need to keep praying with them to discover even more.

Mother,

With you, my spirit rejoices in God.

Praise be to Him.

In intimacy with Christ. Reflection for marriages Saint Matthew 5:1-12

Gospel of the Day

From the Gospel according to Saint Matthew 5:1-12
When Jesus saw the crowds, he went up the mountain, and after he had sat down, his disciples came to him. He began to teach them, saying:
“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are they who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the land.
Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be satisfied.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the clean of heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness,
for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you
and utter every kind of evil against you falsely because of me.
Rejoice and be glad,
for your reward will be great in heaven.
Thus they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

In intimacy with Christ
In this Gospel, we see how Jesus, upon seeing the crowd, withdrew and went up the mountain. He does not seek the recognition of the masses, but silence and communion with the Father. From that intimacy the Beatitudes spring forth, from the heart of God. In our married life, this attitude of Christ invites spouses to also climb His “mountain”: the place of encounter with God where love is purified and becomes authentic. In this world we live in, full of noise and appearances, Christian marriage does not rely on human effort but on the grace that arises from shared silence before God, growing together in that intimacy in Him. When the spouses pray together and gather in Him, our relationship transforms: we stop living to be seen and begin to love from the depths, taking part in the Trinitarian communion that gives life to the sacrament of marriage. When the spouses live from prayer and mercy, our love becomes fruitful and bears fruit; our happiness no longer depends on circumstances, but on the presence of God dwelling among us. Thus, we become a living testimony of the Beatitudes: a silent, merciful and deeply God-filled love.

Applied to Married Life
Louisa: Today at Mass, when Father Charles read “Blessed are the merciful”, I thought of us. Yesterday I got angry with you for leaving everything lying around after dinner… and this morning when I got up I was still upset.
Paul: Louisa, I noticed… and I felt bad. It’s true I sometimes come home tired and I forget to help. But exactly that made me think: isn’t being merciful also forgiving each other in the small things?
Louisa: Yes, I believe so. Sometimes I imagine that holiness is found in great things, and it turns out it begins in this: not staying stuck in the anger, looking at you tenderly even though you didn’t do what I expected.
Paul: Louisa — and in my case, asking you for forgiveness without pride, recognising that I failed you. Maybe being holy together is just that: having patience, forgiving quickly and continuing to walk together.
Louisa: Yes… when I manage to forgive you from the heart, I feel peace. It’s as if God tells me: “That is to love as I love”. Then I understand that holiness is not far away; it is in how we treat one another every day.
Paul: So today, our way of living the Beatitudes is like this: you forgive me, I learn, and together we let God unite us a little more.
Louisa: Exactly darling, being holy for us begins here, among the unwashed dishes and sincere forgiveness.

Mother,

you who were poor in spirit and always trusted in God, teach us to live with humility, hope and purity of heart. Praised and blessed be the Lord for ever!

Grace, Grace. Reflection for marriages Saint Luke 14:1-6

Gospel of the Day

From the Gospel according to Saint Luke 14:1-6
On a sabbath Jesus went to dine at the home of one of the leading Pharisees, and the people there were observing him carefully.
In front of him there was a man suffering from dropsy.
Jesus spoke to the scholars of the law and Pharisees in reply, asking, “Is it lawful to cure on the sabbath or not?”
But they kept silent; so he took the man and, after he had healed him, dismissed him.
Then he said to them, “Who among you, if your son or ox falls into a cistern, would not immediately pull him out on the sabbath day?”
But they were unable to answer his question.

Grace, Grace
Today we see the Lord curing on the sabbath, because His Mercy wants to reach us at every moment. He says that He is ready to heal us and save us.
Therefore — why don’t we let Him? Why do we resist Grace? The Lord is longing for us to welcome it. In prayer, in the sacraments, and especially, He wants to heal us in the sacrament of confession.
In the sacrament of marriage we have the grace to recognise our sin when “I look badly at my husband”. When I’m seeing that my husband “does everything wrong”, the Lord tells us: “The lamp of the body is the eye”, so then, let us go to confession to heal our interior, let us reconcile with God and then with our husband.
Thank you Lord for giving us the sacraments! Thank you for marriage!

Applied to Married Life
Carmen: Hello Charles! How are you? How’s your day been?
Charles: Fine.
Carmen: (thinking… here we go again — abrupt and cold, always comes home tired and thinking about his work problems…) And your day good?
Charles: Yes.
Carmen: (thinking… well, could you at least ask how my day was? I’ll go prepare dinner, let’s see if he helps.) Charles, I’m going to make dinner, what would you like?
Charles: I don’t mind, whatever you feel like.
Carmen: (thinking… but come on, this is the limit! He doesn’t even help me decide what to cook! He doesn’t even help with that… Lord help me, because I can’t. I’ll pray.)
And the Lord said to her: “The lamp of the body is the eye”.
Well, Lord, it’s true that I’m seeing only the bad, so I’ll be the one to clean my heart and my gaze.
I’ll go to confession. Thank you Lord!
Carmen: Charles, I’ve been to confession because I was seeing everything wrong in you, I’m going to prepare the dinner you like so we can enjoy it together, does that sound good?
Charles: Of course my love! What a blessing your Faith is and how persevering you are in it. What a wonder to have you, Carmen!
Mother,

you are example of humility and of receiving the Grace of God. Thank you for being our Mother and model to reach your Son, Our Lord.
Praised be the Lord for ever!

Unity is the Fruit. Reflection for marriages Saint Luke 13:31-35

Gospel of the Day

From the Gospel according to Saint Luke 13:31-35

Some Pharisees came to Jesus and said,
“Go away, leave this area because Herod wants to kill you.”
He replied,
“Go and tell that fox, ‘Behold, I cast out demons and I perform healings today and tomorrow, and on the third day I accomplish my purpose. Yet I must continue on my way today, tomorrow, and the following day, for it is impossible that a prophet should die outside of Jerusalem.’
“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how many times I yearned to gather your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, but you were unwilling! Behold, your house will be abandoned. But I tell you, you will not see me until the time comes when you say, Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.”

Unity is the Fruit
“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you!” What a terrible thing if the Lord said this to me as He said it to Jerusalem! We might think that we have done nothing of the sort: killed or stoned; but what if it turns out that I am doing it? How? By killing and stoning my husband when I do not receive him, do not love him, see him as a nuisance and even an impediment to “loving my God”.
God’s love always bears the fruit of unity. If something separates me from my husband, then it is not from God. It is the devil who sows division. God wants to gather us under His wings, as a hen gathers her brood and gives them warmth and protection.
Let us be clear: we will hardly see God if we do not discover Him in our husband, because he is the one sent in the name of the Lord to be our suitable help.
Applied to Married Life
Charles: Marta, that look of happiness — what’s it down to?
Marta: Darling, it’s incredible how grace has changed my view of you. Before, I saw you as a brake, as an impediment to growing in my relationship with God.
Charles: And now? What’s changed? Because it’s true I notice you’re different.
Marta: I’m so glad you’ve noticed. Simply that I’ve discovered you are a gift from God to me — that we are sent to each other to be a path towards Him. That you are the task and the help God gives me to grow in holiness, in union with Him, growing in love and unity with you to reach communion and Heaven.
Charles: What a wonder! I love it! I’m in on this task too. And I’ll try to make it easier for you, I know sometimes I make it complicated. Thank you, darling. You’re a blessing. I love you.
Marta: I love you too, and going together — this is going to be amazing!

Mother,

teach me to discover in my husband the gift of God for me.
Praised be the Lord for ever!