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What Glasses Am I Wearing? Reflection for marriages. Matthew 20:1-16

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From the Gospel according to Matthew 20:1-16

Jesus told his disciples this parable: “The Kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out at dawn to hire laborers for his vineyard. After agreeing with them for the usual daily wage, he sent them into his vineyard. Going out about nine o’clock, he saw others standing idle in the marketplace, and he said to them, ‘You too go into my vineyard, and I will give you what is just.’ So they went off. And he went out again around noon, and around three o’clock, and did likewise. Going out about five o’clock, he found others standing around, and said to them, ‘Why do you stand here idle all day?’ They answered, ‘Because no one has hired us.’ He said to them, ‘You too go into my vineyard. ‘When it was evening the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman, ‘Summon the laborers and give them their pay, beginning with the last and ending with the first.’ When those who had started about five o’clock came, each received the usual daily wage. So when the first came, they thought that they would receive more, but each of them also got the usual wage. And on receiving it they grumbled against the landowner, saying, ‘These last ones worked only one hour, and you have made them equal to us, who bore the day’s burden and the heat.’ He said to one of them in reply, ‘My friend, I am not cheating you. Did you not agree with me for the usual daily wage? Take what is yours and go. What if I wish to give this last one the same as you? Or am I not free to do as I wish with my own money? Are you envious because I am generous?’ Thus, the last will be first, and the first will be last.”

The Gospel of the Lord

What Glasses Am I Wearing?

Why does Jesus tell us these parables that can so easily make us identify with those who complain, with those who don’t understand? Because He knows our tendency to look at things with our own “reasonable” human criteria, which often hide a self-centered perspective that doesn’t step into the other person’s shoes. Jesus wants to pull us out of that way of looking and teach us to look as He looks: with a gaze that isn’t turned inward, that seeks the good of others, that looks to the heart instead of stopping at the surface.
Those workers who hadn’t been hired must have been anxious all day, not knowing what they would eat. The others already had a job, already knew they’d have food that day. And when the latecomers were finally hired, they must have felt so relieved knowing they’d have something to take home. What joy when they received their pay! That’s why the first ones should have rejoiced with them, right?
That’s how God calls me to see, with His love, which isn’t self-centered but steps into the other’s place and gives of itself. That’s the path to true happiness.
What about me? Do I put myself in my spouse’s shoes? Do I look with my selfish glasses, or do I put on God’s glasses the ones that see from the heart and to the heart?

 
Applied to Married Life

Oscar: (angrily) I can’t believe it. Your daughter speaks so badly right away! And you always defend her!
Helen: (thinking) He can’t have that temper, he just can’t talk like that! He explodes so fast. Mother, what should I do? I need to put on God’s glasses to see his heart. He’s suffering. He’s right, even if his way of saying it isn’t. Poor guy, he knows. How many times in prayer have I heard him tell the Lord how hard he fights against his temper! So I need to show him my support in front of our daughter, even if his way of expressing it is hard for me.
Helen: Come on, honey, you’re right. But please, don’t get so worked up. I’ll talk to her because what she did wasn’t okay. You’re the best husband and the best father in the world! You’re already managing to get a handle on your temper, and you’ll see one day you’ll overcome it completely.
Oscar: Thank you so much, Helen. You’re so sweet. You really help me. But please, do talk to her. I know it’s hard for you, but you know we have to. And she listens to you more. Do it for the Lord and for me.
Helen: Of course. You’re right. It’s hard for me, but I’ll speak to her firmly, because her behavior can’t continue. For you. For the Lord. I love you so much, my love.

Mother,

What a joy to see how, holding your hand, this path of prayer and sacraments and also of mortification to overcome my selfishness is bearing fruit… Thank you forever, Mother! Praise be the Lord!

Only God Can. Reflection for marriages. Matthew 19:23-30

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From the Gospel according to Matthew. Mt. 19:23-30

Jesus said to his disciples: “Amen, I say to you, it will be hard for one who is rich to enter the Kingdom of heaven. Again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for one who is rich to enter the Kingdom of God.” 

When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and said, “Who then can be saved?” 

Jesus looked at them and said, “For men this is impossible, but for God all things are possible.”

Then Peter said to him in reply, “We have given up everything and followed you. What will there be for us?”

Jesus said to them, “Amen, I say to you that you who have followed me, in the new age, when the Son of Man is seated on his throne of glory, will yourselves sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And everyone who has given up houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands for the sake of my name will receive a hundred times more, and will inherit eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last will be first.”

Ther Gospel of the Lord.

 

Only God Can.

How many times have we heard the words “the first will be last, and the last will be first” and actually put them into practice? Probably more than once. But… do we also live it out with our spouse? We’ve been given the incredible grace of being called to the vocation of marriage, and that is such a gift, because through our spouse we’re purified. The Lord works on our (lack of) logic, on our attachments, on our ego… teaching us to become “the last,” letting go of that “wealth” of pride and self. Little by little, He empties us of ourselves so He can fill us with Himself and act in us and through us.
“Whoever leaves houses, brothers or sisters, father or mother, wife, children or fields for my sake…” Let’s drop the weights we carry. We did marry to become one flesh! We have to understand that our first priority is our spouse. He or she comes first and if the two of us are well, then everything else becomes possible, or at least much easier to carry.

St. Teresa used to say “God alone is enough.” We say: “Only God can.” Because with our own strength, we just end up frustrated and defeated. But when we truly abandon ourselves into the hands of the Lord, we bear witness that everything is possible!

 

Applied to Married Life:

Melissa: Honey, I thank God that He’s helping us strip away our selfishness and learn to put each other first.
Mark: Yeah, it’s sad to see couples who really love each other but end up always fighting; each one trying to impose their opinion instead of bowing their head and asking first what God’s will is in that moment.
Melissa: We know we’re weak, made of clay, and we have to keep praying together, because at any moment we could fail.
Mark: Having our times of prayer, and making those little daily sacrifices, giving up what I want or what I think is “fair”, helps us stay on the path. But like you said, we’ve still got a long way to go.

Melissa: Exactly. On our own it’s impossible. That’s why we need to keep seeking Him, with joy and with the hope that He makes all things new.

 

Mother,
We ask you to walk with us on this journey of dettachment from ourselves, so that the glory of the Lord can shine in us. Praise be the Lord!

Not being attached to possesions. Reflection for marriages. Matthew 19:16-22

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From the Gospel according to Matthew. Mt. 19:16-22

A young man approached Jesus and said, “Teacher, what good must I do to gain eternal life?”
He answered him, “Why do you ask me about the good? There is only One who is good. If you wish to enter into life, keep the commandments.”
He asked him, “Which ones?”
And Jesus replied, “You shall not kill; you shall not commit adultery; you shall not steal; you shall not bear false witness; honor your father and your mother; and you shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
The young man said to him, “All of these I have observed. What do I still lack?”
Jesus said to him, “If you wish to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
When the young man heard this statement, he went away sad, for he had many possessions. 

The Gospel of the Lord.

 

Not being attached to possesions.

 

Let’s start by answering Jesus if we’re really living out the commandments that relate to loving my spouse. In marriage, these commandments take on a very real and practical meaning: “do not kill” means not hurting with words or attitudes; “do not commit adultery” means being faithful not only physically, but also emotionally and spiritually; “honor” means mutual respect. Living out these commandments isn’t supposed to feel like a burden, it’s actually the foundation of a holy marriage. But Jesus doesn’t just ask us to “follow the rules”; He asks us to give ourselves completely to each other.
That call to perfection in marriage, that “sell everything” moment, means giving ourselves to one another without holding back. It means letting go of “our possessions”, our selfishness, individualism, personal comforts so that together we can build a love rooted in unity. Therefore we have to strip away whatever stands in the way of full communion. Sometimes that can be a career that takes over everything, unresolved past relationships, habits we keep to ourselves, or wounds that haven’t healed. Marital love demands detachment not just from material things, but from anything that keeps us from giving ourselves fully.

Many marriages suffer and grow sad because one or both spouses just won’t let go of their “many possessions.” Selfishness, pride, or the need to always be in control can steal joy. The rich young man walked away sad because he couldn’t give himself completely. How many marriages today are hurting for the same reason that one or both aren’t willing to give their all?

 

Applied to Married Life:

 

Isabella: Jack, I see you’re sad, and I don’t know what to do to help.
Jack: Yeah, Inma… it’s just always the same: you always have to be right about everything, and I’m left having to just shut up and take it, because if I don’t, we start fighting.
Isabella: But Pablo, that’s not really true. I try to do things the right way, and maybe sometimes I come across too strong, but honestly I don’t mean to impose my way on you. Look, why don´t we ask the Lord tonight, when we pray together, to show us what He’s asking of us and shed some light on this situation?
That night, after reading and reflecting on the Gospel of the rich young man, they pray together as a couple:
Jack: Lord, I realize you don’t want me to be sad. My sadness probably comes from my pride, from not being able to take Inma’s comments and requests. If I weren’t so attached to always being right, this wouldn’t bother me so much.
Isabella: Lord, thank you for Pablo. When I come before you, I can clearly see that he’s the gift you gave me to help me get out of myself, to let go of my selfishness, and to strip away my ego, which is still way too big. Please help me to always put Pablo first, and stop being so focused on myself.

Jack: Thank you, Lord, for Isabella and for the light you’ve given me during this time of prayer. I ask you to help me let go of my attachments so I can love Inma the way you love her.

 

Mother,

you had no attachments, only God. Help me and teach me to see where my attachments are, and to slowly let them go, so I can always do God’s will. Praise be the Lord!

Servants of Unification. Reflection for married couples. Luke 12:49-53

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GOSPEL OF THE DAY

From the Gospel according to Luke 12:49-53

Jesus said to his disciples:

“I have come to set the earth on fire,

and how I wish it were already blazing!

There is a baptism with which I must be baptized,

and how great is my anguish until it is accomplished!

Do you think that I have come to establish peace on the earth?

No, I tell you, but rather division.

From now on a household of five will be divided,

three against two and two against three;

a father will be divided against his son

and a son against his father,

a mother against her daughter

and a daughter against her mother,

a mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law

and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law

The Gospel of the Lord

 

Servants of Unification

Sin divides my inner being and affects my relationship with God and with others, leading me to coexist superficially with evil—a division that breeds chaos.

Jesus, by contrast, brings a purifying fire that exposes this division and demands a choice; His message provokes conflict because I cannot love God and sin at the same time. He brings the division that restores the cosmos.

The deception is believing that the struggle, in Jesus’ name, is against my spouse, or against my children or siblings.

Benedict XVI wrote:

“Love is the fire that purifies and unites reason, will, and feeling; it unifies man within himself through the unifying action of God, so that he becomes a servant of the unification of those who were divided: thus man enters the dwelling place of God and can see Him.”

His love unifies me and enables me to serve the unity of those who are divided, allowing me to enter into communion with Him.

How beautiful is our vocation as spouses.

Applied to married life

(Oscar arrives home burdened and exhausted from key meetings that affect his professional future, and is met with Ana’s reproach.)

Ana: “You know how badly I’m doing, and you couldn’t even call me all day—and on top of that, you arrive late.”

Oscar: “I’ll go to the kitchen and bring you a glass of water.”

(As he walks to the kitchen, Oscar feels his blood boiling.)

Oscar: “My God, help me see Ana’s pain. Don’t let me revel in my own. May Your Spirit govern my thoughts, my feelings, and my gaze. May it be You who comforts her. I place myself at the service of Your daughter.”

(He returns to the living room and sits beside her.)

Oscar: “Sweetheart, forgive me if I haven’t been by your side as you need. How are you?”

Ana initially responds coldly, but he neither defends himself nor corrects her; he listens. Eventually, she feels welcomed and begins to calm down. She opens up, and little by little, she relaxes until she rests her head silently on his shoulder.

In that moment, Oscar feels as though his problems shrink. His mind clears. New possibilities emerge that he hadn’t considered when he walked through the door. He feels a peace that allows him to see everything from a new perspective. That embrace with Ana, that shared silence, leads him to glimpse the truth about his marriage, his work, and his own life. He feels a strength that integrates him inwardly and enables him to comfort Ana and face his fears.

Mother,

You who unite divided hearts, pray for us. Blessed are you!

Let Yourself Be Blessed by Jesus. Reflection for married couples. Matthew 19:13-15

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GOSPEL OF THE DAY

From the Gospel according to Matthew 19:13-15

Children were brought to Jesus

that he might lay his hands on them and pray.

The disciples rebuked them, but Jesus said,

“Let the children come to me, and do not prevent them;

for the Kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

After he placed his hands on them, he went away.

The Gospel of the Lord

 

Let Yourself Be Blessed by Jesus

In this Gospel passage, we see how—most likely—some parents or grandparents bring children to Jesus so that He might bless them. Despite the disciples’ reluctance, Jesus lays His hands on them and blesses them. How important it is to draw near and present ourselves before Jesus to ask for His blessing!

But how do I approach the Lord? With self-sufficiency, with human logic? Or with the trust of a child—a little one who knows he is in need of his Father? Do I present my husband to Jesus each day so that He might bless him? Or, like the disciples, do I scold him and keep him away because I see him as “unclean” with his little sins, or unworthy because he has offended me?

Jesus makes it very clear that His logic is not ours. He looks deep within and sees the disposition of the heart. He blesses the children who come to Him simple, docile, and trusting. And what a surprise! The Lord tells His disciples that the Kingdom of Heaven belongs precisely to those who are like children.

So, if I become like a child—if I recognise my need, if I place all my trust in my Father God and believe that what He gives me is truly the best plan I could have—then I can begin to live the Kingdom of Heaven here and now.

Let us not forget to thank God for those who have brought us closer to the Lord, and let us never stop presenting Jesus to those who do not yet know Him—especially those closest to us.

Applied to Married Life

Rafa: Hi, María, I’m home.

María: Hello, Rafa. How was the flight?

Rafa: Phew! This time I was really scared—there were some awful turbulences, so much so that I even prayed. And you know how little I believe in all that praying business… But do you know what surprised me the most?

María: No… What was it?

Rafa: A child was completely calm while the rest of us were trembling. And when someone asked if he wasn’t afraid, he said no—because his dad was the one flying the plane. What trust he had in his father!

María: That’s no surprise. He was with his dad! If a child trusts his earthly father because he believes he’s the best, that he’s capable of anything, and that because he loves him he’ll give him the very best—then becoming like a child is just that, but in relation to God, our Father. And since He loves each of us, knows everything, and can do all things—would He ever give us something bad? To have that kind of faith in Him, in His plans, in the belief that He always gives us what’s best for us, even when we don’t understand it—that’s what it means to become like a child before God.

Rafa: What a beautiful reflection. María, could you help bring me closer to the Lord? You know I don’t have your faith, but I’d like to.

María: Of course, Rafa. What joy! How about we go on that marriage retreat with “Proyecto Amor Conyugal” that our friends spoke so highly of? I think it would be a great start…

Rafa: Why not? I trust you—and them. It won’t do us any harm. And if it helps us and brings us closer to the Lord…

María: You’re the best. I love you.

Mother,

Take us by the hand, and just as You presented Your Son in the temple, present us to Jesus each day so that He may bless us. Blessed are You, Mother! Praised be the Lord!