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Inside, or outside? Reflection for marriages Matthew 23:13-22

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Gospel

From the Gospel according to Matthew 23:13-22

Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples:“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites.You lock the Kingdom of heaven before men.You do not enter yourselves,nor do you allow entrance to those trying to enter.
“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites.You traverse sea and land to make one convert,and when that happens you make him a child of Gehennatwice as much as yourselves.
“Woe to you, blind guides, who say,‘If one swears by the temple, it means nothing,but if one swears by the gold of the temple, one is obligated.’Blind fools, which is greater, the gold,or the temple that made the gold sacred?And you say, ‘If one swears by the altar, it means nothing,but if one swears by the gift on the altar, one is obligated.’You blind ones, which is greater, the gift,or the altar that makes the gift sacred?One who swears by the altar swears by it and all that is upon it;one who swears by the temple swears by itand by him who dwells in it;one who swears by heaven swears by the throne of Godand by him who is seated on it.”

The Word of theLord

Inside, or outside?

Inthis Gospel we see how Jesus suffers and sighs. The reason is simple: He desires the salvation of all His children. That is why we see Him correcting the Pharisees, who are not living the truth of the Revelation God has manifested through the prophets. They have remained focused on the external, justifying their faith in appearances rather than in truth.
We too can remain stuck in external acts without delving into the transcendence that each one of them carries—and even worse, we might teach this to our children, spouse… with the consequences this has for their souls.
Very proudly we make a mental list of good things we have “done,” in which, at times, we looked only at ourselves, without caring for the deep and delicate relationship with the One who loves us and gave Himself for us. For example, we go to Mass and our body is present, making all the gestures and answering mechanically… and we feel very “satisfied” just for attending Mass. The truth is that our soul was not there, our heart was not on the altar next to Jesus’. In that Eucharist, lived in such a way, by our own freedom, we make it hard for the Lord to take our heart and bring it close to His to transform it. Thankfully God is merciful, and He surprises us by making up for our weakness; that is why it is always better to be at Mass imperfectly than not to be there at all.

Applied to married life:

Diana: Paul, shall we go to Mass a little earlier to pray and prepare ourselves?
Paul: Of course! I’ll finish this right away and we’ll go.
Diana: Do you remember how hard it was for you to go to Mass?… I won’t even mention if I had asked you to go earlier, like we do now… (laughs).
Paul: It’s true, I went because you asked me to, but I didn’t live what each moment really meant. Going to Mass was just being there, waiting for time to pass and for the priest to say, “Go in peace,” which to me meant, “Now you can go to the pub and have a pint”
Diana: Hahaha!
Paul: The Lord has been patient with me—and so have you. Now I always ask the Virgin to place my heart on the altar, so that I may be very close to Jesus and so He can transform it, making me a better husband for you.
Diana: Well, it’s working, my treasure! As that priest said in his homily, we must stop “doing” Christian things and begin to be Christians.
Paul: But we’ll still keep the pub and the pint!

Mother,

Help us keep our soul attentive, so that we may see and savor the supernatural dimension of our lives. Praised be the Lord!

 

Do you know Him? Does He know you? Reflection for marriages. Luke 13:22-30

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From the Gospel according to Luke. Lk. 13:22-30

Jesus passed through towns and villages, teaching as he went and making his way to Jerusalem. Someone asked him, “Lord, will only a few people be saved?”
He answered them:
“Strive to enter through the narrow gate, for many, I tell you, will attempt to enter but will not be strong enough. After the master of the house has arisen and locked the door, then will you stand outside knocking and saying, ‘Lord, open the door for us.’ He will say to you in reply, ‘I do not know where you are from. And you will say, ‘We ate and drank in your company and you taught in our streets.’ Then he will say to you, ‘I do not know where you are from. Depart from me, all you evildoers!’ And there will be wailing and grinding of teeth when you see Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob and all the prophets in the kingdom of God and you yourselves cast out. And people will come from the east and the west and from the north and the south and will recline at table in the kingdom of God. For behold, some are last who will be first, and some are first who will be last.”

The Gospel of the Lord.

Do you know Him? Does He know you?

How terrible it would be to hear from Jesus’ own lips: “I don’t know who you are” on the day we finally meet Him.
To know Him means entering into a relationship of ever-deeper intimacy, until we reach perfect communion in heaven. That communion we can already begin to experience here on earth. What peace the soul finds when it is united to the Heart of Jesus!
The real test to see if I’m not just being led by my selfishness, comfort, or passions lies in my actions. St. John Paul II reminds us that love is expressed in our relationships, especially the one with my spouse and those closest to me. Because I could be doing novenas, apostolates, and adoration, yet leave my spouse aside and in doing so, I would also be abandoning the Bridegroom, the Lord Himself. Let us listen to Him in prayer. He tells us to love Him concretely, through the people He places in our lives. That is our spouses. Marriage is a beautiful path to know Him and to truly know one another and in that way, to discover Jesus in my spouse. There are marriages where the couple never really get to know each other, because they never built true intimacy. At some point, they realize they don’t know each other anymore and they drift apart. But to know the Heart of the Lord is also to know myself, to know my spouse, and little by little, to become one in the Lord.

Applied to Married Life:

Lucy: How grateful I am to the Lord for leading us on this path of conversion, discovering the beauty of the Sacrament of Marriage.
Declan: Conversion, Lucy? But we were already in the Church…
Lucy: Oh Declan, but look at how we were! With a mediocre, conformist faith. We went to Mass or to the couples’ group like we go grocery shopping, just when it was time, like any other plan. And now it’s different, isn’t it?
Declan: You’re right, Lucy. Now we’ve learned to seek intimacy with the Lord in prayer, to keep Him present in everything we do. Before, it wasn’t like that.
Lucy: We’ve discovered that Christ is right here between us, and through the conyugal prayer we’ve built an intimacy with each other and with Him that we never imagined possible.
Declan: Yes, it’s amazing! We’ve also learned to see His will in everything that happens, good or bad,  and to trust in Him.
Lucy: I think we have so much to thank Him for in our conversion, don’t you?
Declan: You’re absolutely right. Let’s make today’s prayer a thanksgiving to God for this true conversion of our hearts. What a privilege it is to be so loved by Him.

Mother,

Today we give you endless thanks for your “Yes,” for the gift of your Son in our lives. Teach us to build true intimacy between ourselves and Him.  Blessed and praised be the Lord forever!

My Humility Wins Your Heart. Reflection for marriages. Matthew 23:1-12

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From the Gospel according to Matthew. Mt. 23:1-12

Jesus spoke to the crowds and to his disciples, saying, “The scribes and the Phariseeshave taken their seat on the chair of Moses. Therefore, do and observe all things whatsoever they tell you, but do not follow their example. For they preach but they do not practice. They tie up heavy burdens hard to carry and lay them on people’s shoulders, but they will not lift a finger to move them. All their works are performed to be seen. They widen their phylacteries and lengthen their tassels. They love places of honor at banquets, seats of honor in synagogues,
greetings in marketplaces, and the salutation ‘Rabbi.’ As for you, do not be called ‘Rabbi.’ You have but one teacher, and you are all brothers. Call no one on earth your father; you have but one Father in heaven. Do not be called ‘Master’; you have but one master, the Christ. The greatest among you must be your servant. Whoever exalts himself will be humbled; but whoever humbles himself will be exalted.”

The Gospel of the Lord

My Humility Wins Your Heart

Jesus shows us a path that goes against the logic of the world: the path of humility, of serving quietly, of a heart that lowers itself out of love. In marriage, this is one of the keys to true unity: not trying to prove who’s right, but giving one’s life. Not forcing opinions, but offering one’s heart. So often between spouses we try to dominate, to have the last word, to show we know more, do more, or deserve more. But Jesus tells us in the Gospel that whoever exalts himself will be humbled. Not because God wants to humiliate us, but because pride always leaves us alone, while humility builds unity and makes love grow. In marriage, humbling oneself doesn’t mean losing it means winning your spouse’s heart. Pride shuts doors, humility opens them. Arrogance makes relationships hard, humility softens them. Christ teaches us that true greatness lies in being the first to love, to serve, to forgive.

Applied to Married Life:

Robert: Hey love. I bought a new TV. I didn’t like how the old one looked anymore.
Julie: But Robert, why didn’t you talk to me first? That’s a lot of money…
Robert: I know how to handle the money. I’m the one earning it. Or do you think we are doing badly?
Julie: This isn’t just yours. I need to feel part of the decisions in our home.
Robert: There you go, playing the victim again…
(A sad silence fills the house. Robert recalls the words of Jesus in the Eucharist: “Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.”)
Robert: Julie, I’m sorry. I thought you’d make excuses not to buy it, so I justified myself saying that I earn the money and I went ahead and bought it. Forgive me for not valuing you and for putting my own judgment ahead of yours. Here, take my card, so that from now on, whatever I buy, I’ll have to check with you first.
Julie: Of course I forgive you. And I thank God, because He’s making a new husband out of you.
Robert: Sweetheart, I’m going to cook you a special dinner tonight, and afterward let’s pray the rosary together.

Mother,

Thank you for being the great example of humility, simplicity and embrace. Help us to respond like you, always choosing to be the smallest, never seeking recognition. Blessed and praised be the Lord!

Am I Fooling Myself? Reflection for marriages. Mathew 22:34-40

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From the Gospel according to Matthew 22:34-40

When the Pharisees heard that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together, and one of them, a scholar of the law, tested him by asking, “Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?” He said to him, “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments.”

The Gospel of the Lord

Am I Fooling Myself?

How many times did people try to trap Jesus, and yet He never fell into their game instead, He brought light with the Truth, which is eternal.
In the same way, He speaks to us today, in our own time. And in our vocation as spouses, to live the first commandment we necessarily have to live the second and vice versa.
We cannot love our spouse if we don’t first love God, who is the very source of Love. And we cannot say we love God if we do not love our spouse. The way I love my spouse is the way I reflect God’s Love. Because the one who says he loves God but does not love his spouse (his closest neighbor) is fooling himself.

Applied to Married Life:

Ethan: Good morning, love! Since it’s Sunday, I’m going to Mass and then I told Oscar I’d play a game of tennis with him. Is that okay?

Claire: Wait, what? Ethan, the other day we agreed that today, after Mass, we’d spend some time together. It’s one of the few days we can actually relax…

Ethan: I know, Claire, but Oscar told me he’s going through something and wanted to meet up to talk. So I don’t know what time I’ll be back.

Claire: Well, I don’t really like it, but if you think it’s necessary…

(Later, when he comes back home after Mass)

Ethan: Love, forgive me. While I was praying at Mass, the Lord made me realize that this morning I wasn’t really loving you. And if I truly want to love God, I have to do it through you. You know what? I’m going to tell Oscar that we already had plans, and if he wants, we can meet some other day for lunch or something. Okay?

Claire: Oh, thank you, Ethan! Finally, we’ll get some quiet time together. We’ve been so busy lately. I love you.

Ethan: Thank you, Claire, for helping me draw closer to the Lord through you.

Mother,

You who lived these commandments perfectly, help us to always keep them in mind and to live them fully.
Praise be the Lord forever!

A Dignified and Pure Life. Reflection for marriages. Matthew 22:1-14

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From the Gospel according to Matthew 22:1-14

Jesus again in reply spoke to the chief priests and the elders of the people in parables saying, “The Kingdom of heaven may be likened to a king who gave a wedding feast for his son. He dispatched his servants to summon the invited guests to the feast, but they refused to come. A second time he sent other servants, saying, ‘Tell those invited: “Behold, I have prepared my banquet, my calves and fattened cattle are killed, and everything is ready; come to the feast.”’ Some ignored the invitation and went away, one to his farm, another to his business. The rest laid hold of his servants,
mistreated them, and killed them. The king was enraged and sent his troops, destroyed those murderers, and burned their city.
Then the king said to his servants, ‘The feast is ready, but those who were invited were not worthy to come. Go out, therefore, into the main roads
and invite to the feast whomever you find.’ The servants went out into the streets and gathered all they found, bad and good alike, and the hall was filled with guests. But when the king came in to meet the guests he saw a man there not dressed in a wedding garment. He said to him, ‘My friend, how is it that you came in here without a wedding garment?’ But he was reduced to silence. Then the king said to his attendants, ‘Bind his hands and feet, and cast him into the darkness outside, where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth.’ Many are invited, but few are chosen.”

The Gospel of the Lord

A Dignified and Pure Life

While preparing this reflection, another Gospel passage comes to mind (Jn 14:2–3), where Jesus tells His disciples, and tells us, that He is going to prepare a place for us, and that He will return to take us with Him, so that where He is, we also may be. The Lord constantly shows us His desire for us to be with Him and the Father. He never stops looking for us. He reveals to us His Heart, burning with Love, and pleads with us through St. Margaret Mary Alacoque, “At least you, love me.”
In connection with the phrase: “Many are called, but few are chosen.” St. John Chrysostom said: “With these words the Lord does not want to discourage us, but to warn us: it is not enough to be called and to have entered; it is also necessary to remain with the wedding garment, that is, with a dignified and pure life.” (Homilies on Matthew, hom. 69,2)

Applied to Married Life:

Paul: This new life revealed to us through the catecheses of St. John Paul II, interpreted through the lens of marriage, never ceases to amaze me. When I read and pray with them, my heart fills with the desire for a better life. They help me see life differently and they help me see you differently.

Karen: Yes, it’s wonderful. How it has changed us and changed our marriage! Now, whenever suspicion creeps in between us, we already know what’s happening and what we need to do.

Paul: Yes, we need to put on the wedding garment.

Karen (looking puzzled): The wedding garment? I don’t get it.

Paul: Yes, to recover our dignity and purity of heart. To renew our desire to give ourselves fully to one another, leaning on grace.

Karen: Oh, what a scare! I thought you meant putting on my actual wedding dress. Who knows how it would even fit me now. If I could even get into it! hahahahaha.

Paul: Well, just imagine me trying to fit into mine! hahahahaha.

Mother,

You, who are the Immaculate Conception, the most dignified creature God has ever made, help us to long for a life that is dignified and pure, and to give ourselves completely to one another for the greater glory of the Father. Blessed be your Son Jesus, who never ceases to seek us.