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Give Your Life. Reflection for marriages. Mark 6:14-29

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From the Gospel according to Mark 6:14–29

King Herod heard about Jesus, for his fame had become widespread, and people were saying, “John the Baptist has been raised from the dead; that is why mighty powers are at work in him.” Others were saying, “He is Elijah”; still others, “He is a prophet like any of the prophets.” But when Herod learned of it, he said, “It is John whom I beheaded. He has been raised up.”
Herod was the one who had John arrested and bound in prison on account of Herodias, the wife of his brother Philip, whom he had married. John had said to Herod, “It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife.”
Herodias harbored a grudge against him and wanted to kill him but was unable to do so. Herod feared John, knowing him to be a righteous and holy man, and kept him in custody. When he heard him speak he was very much perplexed, yet he liked to listen to him. Herodias had an opportunity one day when Herod, on his birthday, gave a banquet for his courtiers, his military officers, and the leading men of Galilee. His own daughter came in and performed a dance that delighted Herod and his guests. The king said to the girl, “Ask of me whatever you wish and I will grant it to you.” He even swore many things to her, “I will grant you whatever you ask of me, even to half of my kingdom.” She went out and said to her mother, “What shall I ask for?”  Her mother replied, “The head of John the Baptist.” The girl hurried back to the king’s presence and made her request, “I want you to give me at once on a platter the head of John the Baptist.”
The king was deeply distressed, but because of his oaths and the guests he did not wish to break his word to her. So he promptly dispatched an executioner with orders to bring back his head. He went off and beheaded him in the prison. He brought in the head on a platter and gave it to the girl. The girl in turn gave it to her mother. When his disciples heard about it, they came and took his body and laid it in a tomb.

Give Your Life

Today we see John becoming the first martyr for defending the Truth, the one and only Truth, which is God’s truth about marriage. And we see that where there is no truth, sin comes in, and one sin leads to another, like dominoes: the first piece falls and knocks down the next, and so on. Because Herod does not live in the truth; he lives in lies and deception, married to his brother’s wife. That leads him to pride of not wanting to look bad in front of his guests and that leads him to murder…
When we break the plans God has for us, we enter a destructive spiral that can be hard to get out of if we don’t count on God. The Lord shows us the Truth. We need humility and to live in truth, to recognize our limits and our offenses against God and against my spouse, in order to restore communion with Him and with my spouse. Today we ask ourselves: How many times do I fail in my covenant with God and fail to truly value my spouse? Am I faithful in hard times, or only when things are going well? Do I love my husband the way God wants me to love him, or just in the way that suits me?
John gave his life to defend marriage and me… How am I giving my life for my spouse in the little things of everyday life, through time, listening, patience, faithfulness? And when difficulties come, do I fight for my marriage, or do I look for comfort through shortcuts that avoid effort and struggle? Am I giving my life to defend something as sacred as my marriage? Am I giving myself completely?

Applied to married life:

Adele: I’ve had an awful day… as soon as Declan gets home, we’ll eat and go straight to bed.
Declan: Adele, I’m home! I’ve made plans to grab a few beers at the bar downstairs, then go watch the game with everyone and have dinner out. Want to come?
Adele: Declan, I’m exhausted… no way!
Declan: Here we go again with the tiredness, the job… honestly, I feel like I married my wife’s work.
Adele: How dare you? I´m working nonstop so we can have a decent vacation! Oh, just get lost! Go by yourself! I’m better off at home alone.
Declan: Fine! I’m going!
On the way, Declan sees that his parish church is open, and there, with a contrite heart, the Lord works in him… He shows him how he has slowly drifted away from Adele, how the distance between them has grown, and He reminds him that with humility, the Lord can do everything. So Declan decides to go back home, cancel his plans, and ask for forgiveness.
Declan: Adele, I’m back home. Forgive me. I’ve been going through a phase where I don’t stop to really pay attention to you.
Adele: No, forgive me. I’ve had weeks of so much work, and once again I’ve put my job above everything else.
Declan: How about I make dinner, we can have that soup you like and then we pray together?
Adele: That sounds amazing, Declan. I thank God so much for your humility.
Adele: And I thank Him for the way you always welcome me.

Mother,

May we, like you, truly live out the reality that the Lord is present in our sacrament, and may we always remember that by loving my spouse, I am loving Him.
Praised be the Lord!

It Is Jesus Who Calls. Reflection for marriages. Mark 6:7:13

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From the Gospel according to Mark 6:7–13

Jesus summoned the Twelve and began to send them out two by two and gave them authority over unclean spirits. He instructed them to take nothing for the journey but a walking stick –no food, no sack, no money in their belts. They were, however, to wear sandals but not a second tunic. He said to them, “Wherever you enter a house, stay there until you leave from there. Whatever place does not welcome you or listen to you, leave there and shake the dust off your feet in testimony against them.” So they went off and preached repentance. The Twelve drove out many demons, and they anointed with oil many who were sick and cured them.

It Is Jesus Who Calls

It is Jesus who calls, who sends, who gives authority, and the disciples preach, cast out demons, anoint, and heal. But it is not they who do it, it is Jesus. All power belongs to Him. He is the Word; He is the One who casts out demons and who heals. How important it is to know that the initiative always belongs to God. He looked upon the humility of His servant. For Him to be able to act in us, in our marriage, in the mission… He needs our humility, our “yes,” and our awareness of our own nothingness.

Applied to Married Life:

(Sunday, after having served as custodians at a Conjugal Love Project retreat)

Shawn: Today the Lord has put me in truth. During the retreat there were several moments when I felt important, like the main character. I internally gloried in myself, taking for myself the glory that belongs only to God.

Matilda: Well, it’s normal to be aware of your self-giving and of the fruits it bears in other marriages.

Shawn: Yes, but I know what happened in my heart. I took for myself part of what belongs only to the Lord. I recognized myself as a thief, I felt great shame and pain and then a great joy at seeing myself as such a small thing.

Matilda: Do you want us to pray the Magnificat?

Shawn: Yesss. I need it.

Shawn and Matilda: My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord…

Mother,

Do not allow any vainglory in me. Place me in truth so that I may know that He is the Lord. Blessed and praised be the Lord forever.

Loving in Silence. Reflection for marriages. Mark 6:1-6

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From the Gospel according to Mark 6:1–6

Jesus departed from there and came to his native place, accompanied by his disciples. When the sabbath came he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were astonished. They said, “Where did this man get all this? What kind of wisdom has been given him? What mighty deeds are wrought by his hands! Is he not the carpenter, the son of Mary, and the brother of James and Joseph and Judas and Simon? And are not his sisters here with us?” And they took offense at him. Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his native place and among his own kin and in his own house.” So he was not able to perform any mighty deed there, apart from curing a few sick people by laying his hands on them. He was amazed at their lack of faith.

Loving in Silence

Jesus, how is it that they are surprised in Nazareth by Your wisdom? Did they not know You throughout Your whole life there? Surely You went unnoticed, doing good without seeking any prominence loving and giving Yourself in silence, in small things, in those details that only the one who receives them notices. And sometimes not even the one who receives them. Since then, You have spent almost 2,000 years “hidden” in the Eucharist loving, giving Yourself every second, but in silence.
Do I love like that? Do I give myself like that? without it being noticed, only for Your love, only for love of my spouse, only for love of others, to make their lives better, even if I am not thanked. That is how You want me to love, Lord. But it seems impossible to me. I find it hard to love, and when I manage to do it, I want it to be noticed. And You tell me that it is enough that You see it, that that is where it has the greatest value. I know that with my own strength it is impossible. Then I hear this phrase: “He could not perform miracles there because of their lack of faith.” Oh! What if You cannot work that miracle in my heart because of my lack of faith? Jesus, increase my faith. And I know You tell me: “Pray more and trust in Me.”

Applied to Married Life:

Josh: I can’t take it anymore! I’m fed up! What’s the point of my prayer, my sacrifices, my self-giving? I don’t change, and I don’t see you change. It hurts me so much when you speak to me like that!
Mia: Forgive me, Josh, don’t be angry. I’m so sorry. I’m trying to overcome my anger, but sometimes I still fall. I do see your progress. Of course prayer is changing you! You’re happier, kinder. I see your struggle, those moments of silence where you used to react… I’m so grateful to God! You’re being very persevering, and your heart is changing.
Josh: Mia, I thank God so much for you! Forgive me. I also see your struggle so many times you keep quiet, loving in silence. I know I am very weak, and it frustrates me. But I know that in that weakness the Lord wants to do His work. Please forgive me and keep pulling me along you know how hard it is for me. I need you.
Mia: And I need you. The Lord wants to do a great work in our marriage. He has given His life for it. But He needs our “yes,” expressed in perseverance in prayer, in the sacraments, and in sacrifices of self-giving love. That’s where we must help each other, to keep going with all our strength. He will do the rest. How great the Lord is!

Mother,

Teach us to love as you love, without noise, in everything. Lead us to your Son. Blessed and praised be the Lord!

Do You Have Faith? Reflection for marriages. Mark 5:21-43

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From the Gospel according to Mark 5:21-43

When Jesus had crossed again in the boat to the other side, a large crowd gathered around him, and he stayed close to the sea. One of the synagogue officials, named Jairus, came forward. Seeing him he fell at his feet and pleaded earnestly with him, saying, “My daughter is at the point of death. Please, come lay your hands on her that she may get well and live.” He went off with him and a large crowd followed him.
There was a woman afflicted with hemorrhages for twelve years. She had suffered greatly at the hands of many doctors and had spent all that she had. Yet she was not helped but only grew worse. She had heard about Jesus and came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak. She said, “If I but touch his clothes, I shall be cured.” Immediately her flow of blood dried up. She felt in her body that she was healed of her affliction. Jesus, aware at once that power had gone out from him, turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who has touched my clothes?” But his disciples said to him, “You see how the crowd is pressing upon you, and yet you ask, Who touched me?” And he looked around to see who had done it. The woman, realizing what had happened to her, approached in fear and trembling. She fell down before Jesus and told him the whole truth. He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has saved you. Go in peace and be cured of your affliction.”
While he was still speaking, people from the synagogue official’s house arrived and said, “Your daughter has died; why trouble the teacher any longer?” Disregarding the message that was reported, Jesus said to the synagogue official, “Do not be afraid; just have faith.” He did not allow anyone to accompany him inside except Peter, James, and John, the brother of James. When they arrived at the house of the synagogue official, he caught sight of a commotion, people weeping and wailing loudly. So he went in and said to them, “Why this commotion and weeping? The child is not dead but asleep.” And they ridiculed him. Then he put them all out. He took along the child’s father and mother and those who were with him and entered the room where the child was. He took the child by the hand and said to her, “Talitha koum,” which means, “Little girl, I say to you, arise!” The girl, a child of twelve, arose immediately and walked around. At that they were utterly astounded. He gave strict orders that no one should know this and said that she should be given something to eat.

Do You Have Faith?

In this passage we can contemplate two events or miracles, but they are united by one thing: faith. First, the woman suffering from hemorrhages, who “only” wanted to touch the cloak. She believed in Jesus and trusted in His healing power. Second, Jairus, who went in search of Jesus because he knew that only He could bring about the healing of his daughter.
For our faith to be effective and for us not to succumb to temptation, it is necessary to be very close to the Lord: to go out to meet Him, to want to touch His cloak, to let Him take us by the hand. But… how is this done? By being in the presence of God through the Eucharist, through prayer. Let us make the Lord present in our marriage so that He may heal everything we are not capable of healing ourselves, of forgiving everything that keeps us from moving forward. But most importantly, we must believe that He makes it possible.
God is our Father, and it greatly pleases Him when we ask Him for help; He longs for us to ask Him. That is why He asks who touched His cloak, because He does not want us to come from behind or to feel ashamed, but rather to draw near to Him to ask for His help, to look Him in the eyes and speak to Him face to face.

Applied to Married Life:

Albert: Niahm, for this upcoming retreat we’ve been entrusted with a series of tasks that I think we won’t be able to carry out… we’re not prepared; I think certain skills are required that we just don’t have.

Niahm: You’re right Albert, I was thinking the same thing.

Albert: So, do you think we should tell them it would be better to look for another couple to do them?

Niahm: Let’s do something better: this afternoon let’s go before the Blessed Sacrament and tell Jesus about it. We’ll tell Him what He already knows that we’re imperfect, that we’re not capable, and that we place in His hands whether or not all this gets done, which has been entrusted to us.

(After the retreat, having completed all the tasks)

Albert: You were so right Niahm! It’s been a miracle! Did you see how well everything turned out? Despite our clumsiness and our weakness, the fruits have been impressive. Truly, there’s nothing like going forward in faith and abandoning oneself into the hands of the Lord so that He may do His work.

Mother:

How fortunate we are to be able to rely on and always trust in the Lord, just as You did.
May He be blessed and praised forever!

Called to Obedience. Reflection ion for marriages. Luke 2:22-40

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From the Gospel according to Luke 2:22–40 

When the days were completed for their purification according to the law of Moses, Mary and Joseph took Jesus up to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord, just as it is written in the law of the Lord, Every male that opens the womb shall be consecrated to the Lord, and to offer the sacrifice of a pair of turtledoves or two young pigeons, in accordance with the dictate in the law of the Lord.
Now there was a man in Jerusalem whose name was Simeon. This man was righteous and devout, awaiting the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him. It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he should not see death before he had seen the Christ of the Lord. He came in the Spirit into the temple; and when the parents brought in the child Jesus to perform the custom of the law in regard to him, he took him into his arms and blessed God, saying:
“Now, Master, you may let your servant go in peace, according to your word, for my eyes have seen your salvation, which you prepared in the sight of all the peoples: a light for revelation to the Gentiles, and glory for your people Israel.”
The child’s father and mother were amazed at what was said about him; and Simeon blessed them and said to Mary his mother, “Behold, this child is destined for the fall and rise of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be contradicted -and you yourself a sword will pierce- so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.” There was also a prophetess, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was advanced in years, having lived seven years with her husband after her marriage, and then as a widow until she was eighty-four. She never left the temple, but worshiped night and day with fasting and prayer. And coming forward at that very time, she gave thanks to God and spoke about the child to all who were awaiting the redemption of Jerusalem.

When they had fulfilled all the prescriptions of the law of the Lord, they returned to Galilee, to their own town of Nazareth. The child grew and became strong, filled with wisdom; and the favor of God was upon him.

 

Called to Obedience

Today we celebrate the day of the Presentation of Jesus in the Temple and the Purification of the Virgin Mary, a day also known as Candlemas.
Mary, although she had conceived by the work of the Holy Spirit and did not need purification, fulfilled the rite of purification forty days after giving birth and presented and consecrated her Son in the Temple, as prescribed by the Mosaic Law. This symbol points to Christ as the light that enlightens the nations. These gestures, which were not necessary for them, yet were fulfilled by Saint Joseph and Mary, teach us that, together in communion, obedience to the Law and to the fulfillment of the plan of Salvation is necessary. We are called to obedience, not in a cold or routine way, but as an act of humility, as an act of renunciation of our own criteria out of love for Love itself, who would later say to us: “Not my will, but Yours may be done.”
Marriage is an authentic school for growing in these virtues. In every daily act, we have the opportunity to live out this obedience and mutual submission to our spouse, as a free response to the Love of God. God invites us to live and to strengthen communion between spouses. Joseph and Mary received Simeon’s prophecy while they were together: it was foretold that He would be the Light and that there would be the experience of sorrow. Communion does not mean the absence of conflict or suffering, but remaining united in moments of light and in moments when “the sword comes.”

Let us welcome today this call that this reflection invites us to embrace: always to seek communion in marriage, being together, sharing intimacy, renouncing individual criteria, and presenting all of this to God in imitation of the Holy Family. Only in this way will we be able to bring the Light of God to the world around us.

 

Applied to Married Life

Carmel: Today, I think about what we lived at home at the beginning of our marriage, when everything seemed easy, and yet I realize how badly we were actually living it. I was in a bad mood all day, thinking I had made a mistake by marrying you, and I limited myself to managing the household, trying to keep things peaceful and going to bed before you even walked through the door.
Patrick: And I, trying to avoid that tense atmosphere, took refuge in work, sports, and friends.
Carmel: Thank goodness the Holy Spirit brought us our dear neighbors, Simeon and Anna, who opened our eyes to the need we had to present all our weaknesses and strengths to the Lord, going to church whenever we could.
Patrick: Yes, we’ll never have enough time to thank them. At the beginning it was very hard for us, but thanks to your determination, today it has become a real necessity to go together to daily Eucharist, to receive Communion, to pray as a couple, and thus try to live that communion with Christ in our family.
Carmel: Yes, what an immense Light the Lord gives us day by day. Now managing the house has gone into the background, and all I want is to get home to see you, hear about your day, and go to Mass together.
Patrick: And with how much of a perfectionist you are about order and cleanliness, it’s a true miracle to see what God has done in you, accepting that I’m not like that.

Carmel: Yes. If the Holy Family obeyed even the smallest details of the Law, the least I can do is allow myself to be guided humbly by the person God has sent most directly to me to be a mediator toward Him. And that person is you. At first I couldn’t accept not imposing my own criteria, but I admit that trying to live that obedience in marriage has helped me to be much more reasonable and not so demanding. So, glory to God!

 

Mother,

Help us to be humble and obedient to the teachings that your Son passed on to us through His life. Praised be you forever.