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Three times. Reflection for married couples. John 21:15-19

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Gospel of the Day

From the Gospel according to John 21:15-19

When Jesus had revealed himself to his disciples and they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, ‘Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?’ He said to him, ‘Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.’ He said to him, ‘Feed my lambs.’ He said to him a second time, ‘Simon, son of John, do you love me?’ He said to him, ‘Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.’ He said to him, ‘Tend my sheep.’ He said to him the third time, ‘Simon, son of John, do you love me?’ Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, ‘Do you love me?’ and he said to him, ‘Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Feed my sheep. Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were young, you used to dress yourself and walk wherever you wanted, but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go.’ (This he said to show by what kind of death he was to glorify God.) And after saying this he said to him, ‘Follow me.’
Three times

It may seem surprising that Jesus insists on asking Peter three times in succession whether he loves Him. But we remember that this same Peter denied Him three times on the night of the Passion. Christ gives him the opportunity to reaffirm his love, once for each time he denied Him. The Lord is always lovingly ready to draw near to us, so that we may ask for forgiveness in the Sacrament of Reconciliation and become like little lambs in the arms of our Good Shepherd. Let us not wish to be anything else. There is nothing better than allowing ourselves to be led by Him, for He is Love.

Applied to Married Life:

Peter: The children still haven’t tidied their room… I honestly don’t know what else to say to them. They completely ignore me. I’m sure if you go in now they’ll obey you straight away. They always wait for your approval before listening to me, and when you’re not here there’s no way they’ll do anything I ask. I’m really getting tired of it. It’s always the same.
Margaret: Always the same, always the same… you’re the one who’s always saying the same thing. I’m the one who’s tired of having the very same conversation over and over again…
Peter: The same thing, the same conversation… Forgive me, Margaret. I’ve let myself be carried away by old feelings that I thought I had overcome. I didn’t sleep well last night, and I’ve fallen into the same trap again.
Margaret: No, you forgive me, Peter. I rose to the bait without a second thought… The truth is, I didn’t sleep well either. That programme we watched left me quite unsettled, and it took me ages to fall asleep.
Peter: It was the same for me. Thank God we’re beginning to recognise these outbursts of passion and stop them before they grow. I remember that before our conversion we would start an argument that could leave us not speaking to each other for days.
Margaret: Absolutely… I shudder just remembering it. If you agree, perhaps we could move our time of marital prayer to before we go to bed. That way we could spend longer in prayer and go to sleep with the peace that comes from being with the Lord.
Peter: I think that’s a wonderful idea. Less television and more prayer — what a brilliant plan. Thank you, my dear wife, for always drawing me back onto the right path.

Mother,

We want to be those little lambs who walk beside Jesus. Sometimes He leads us by the hand and we walk with Him; at other times He has to carry us in His arms. Never allow us to drift away from Him. Blessed and praised for ever be Jesus in the Most Blessed Sacrament of the Altar!

On Holy Ground. Reflection for married couples. Matthew 8:5-17

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Gospel of the Day

From the Gospel according to Matthew 8:5–17

At that time: When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came forward to him, appealing to him, ‘Lord, my servant is lying paralysed at home, suffering terribly.’ And he said to him, ‘I will come and heal him.’ But the centurion replied, ‘Lord, I am not worthy to have you come under my roof, but only say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I too am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. And I say to one, “Go”, and he goes, and to another, “Come”, and he comes, and to my servant, “Do this”, and he does it.’ When Jesus heard this, he marvelled and said to those who followed him, ‘Truly, I tell you, with no one in Israel have I found such faith. I tell you, many will come from east and west and recline at table with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven, while the sons of the kingdom will be thrown into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’ And to the centurion Jesus said, ‘Go; let it be done for you as you have believed.’ And the servant was healed at that very moment.
  And when Jesus entered Peter’s house, he saw his mother-in-law lying sick with a fever. He touched her hand, and the fever left her, and she rose and began to serve him. That evening they brought to him many who were oppressed by demons, and he cast out the spirits with a word and healed all who were sick. This was to fulfil what was spoken by the prophet Isaiah: ‘He took our illnesses and bore our diseases.’
The Gospel of the Lord
On Holy Ground

In this Gospel, the centurion’s humble faith offers us a precious light for married life. When he says, “Lord, I am not worthy that You should enter under my roof,” he humbly acknowledges the greatness of the One standing before him. Spouses, too, are called to recognize that their husband or wife is a sacred mystery, holy ground inhabited by God. Today we might say to our spouse, “I am not worthy to step onto your holy ground.”

How important it is, before judging or making demands, to “remove our sandals” before our spouse, for we stand on holy ground, before a child of God, a temple of the Holy Spirit. We can imagine Jesus marveling when husbands and wives look upon one another with reverence, when they respect each other’s pace and weaknesses, recognizing that God dwells within the other.

Today, dear spouses, we invite you to reflect in prayer: Do I enter my spouse’s life with respect and reverence? Do I remove my sandals before the mystery God has placed within him or her? Do I recognize that I stand before a living temple of the Holy Spirit?

Brought Down to Married Life

Isabel: William, I’ve noticed that you’ve seemed different lately. You’ve been coming home very late from work because you’ve been spending time with your colleague, and it has made me feel insecure.
William: Different? Honestly, no. She’s just a coworker. We’ve been talking more because she’s going through a difficult season.
Isabel: Right… “just a coworker.” But in the end, you’re always there for her, and I feel as though I’m being left on the sidelines.
William: It’s not fair to think that of me. Truly, nothing is happening like you’re imagining.
Isabel: Forgive me, William. I realize that I’m judging you instead of recognizing the good you’re trying to do by helping her.
William: Isabel, what you said hurt me. I felt that you didn’t trust me and that you drew conclusions without listening to me.
Isabel: William, you’re right. Instead of calmly asking and truly listening, I created a story in my own mind and judged you, and that isn’t fair to you.
William: Isabel, thank you for recognizing that, because I felt deeply misunderstood. Next time, I promise I’ll tell you sooner about what’s going on so that unnecessary doubts and worries don’t take root. Would you like me to explain everything now?
Isabel: Yes. I’d like to listen properly this time, without interrupting or making assumptions.
William: She’s going through a very difficult time in her marriage and asked for support because she knows that we’ve been accompanying couples who are struggling.
Isabel: William, thank you for explaining it. I understand much better now. And if you think it might help them, perhaps the four of us could meet one day and share our testimony with them.
William: I think that’s a wonderful idea. It could truly do them a lot of good.
Isabel: Thank you for your generosity and for being a light to those who need it, and to me as well.

Mother,

Teach us to look upon our spouse with your eyes, recognizing in him or her the holy ground where God dwells. Blessed and praised be the Lord forever.

Connatural. Reflections for married couples. Matthew 8: 1-4

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Gospel of the Day

From the Gospel according to Matthew 8:1-4

When Jesus came down from the mountain, great crowds followed him.
And then a leper approached, did him homage, and said,
“Lord, if you wish, you can make me clean.”
He stretched out his hand, touched him, and said,
“I will do it. Be made clean.”
His leprosy was cleansed immediately.
Then Jesus said to him, “See that you tell no one,
but go show yourself to the priest,
and offer the gift that Moses prescribed;
that will be proof for them.

The Gospel of the Lord

Connatural.

Let’s talk about faith. Nowadays, it seems one must do something extraordinary to achieve faith. But that’s not the case. Faith is connatural to man because it is a gift from God and is inscribed in the human heart. If not for ideological influences and psychological manipulation, we would all seek divinity, as all human tribes and castes have done throughout history. Unwittingly, we tend to believe in the supernatural action of God. Some through alternative medicine or esotericism… substituting the true God.
Let us strip away those external influences from the couples around us so they can open themselves to the gift of faith.

Brought Down to Married Life:

She knelt before the Lord. For years, she had seen her husband as the villain. She had compelling reasons. But why was a relationship with God possible for her husband, yet she was unable to maintain it? It was her pride, which came from within and prevented her from seeing that she was as guilty or more than he was, and she was looking at him with a sinful and destructive gaze.
He knelt beside his wife before the Lord. He, too, had spent years rejecting his wife’s corrections with enormous pride. He was fed up with her. But that day, he asked himself: Why doesn’t God get fed up with her but loves her infinitely? There was something in him that wasn’t in God. And so he discovered his pride, which prevented him from seeing that he was also responsible for the lack of purification in their union, as God had entrusted to him. He had a tainted view of her that prevented him from considering her a gift and giving himself to her.
Both, with their hearts broken into pieces, knelt before the Lord, begging Him to change their hearts of stone into hearts of flesh.
And God took pity on them, forgave them, and placed many means of purification along their path: differences of opinion, unjust judgments of one another, offenses… but this time, they did not experience these as if the other were a pariah but received them as a path God was laying out for them to overcome their pride. This time, they constantly asked for forgiveness and accepted each other’s humiliations as a gift.
That marriage was built up, healed, and today, thanks to God, they are one. They are a tender heart, pleasing to God.

Mother,

Praise be to the Lord for the miracles He is working in so many marriages around us. It is wonderful to see how He purifies hearts, transforms lives, and fills homes with joy. As we draw near to Him and persevere with that “if you are willing, you can make me clean,” He rebuilds, heals, unites… Glory to God.

Christ is the Rock. Reflection for married couples. Matthew 7:21-29

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Gospel of the Day

Gospel according to Matthew 7:21–29

At that time: Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Not everyone who says to me, “Lord, Lord”, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, “Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?” And then will I declare to them, “I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.”
  ‘Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.’
  And when Jesus finished these sayings, the crowds were astonished at his teaching, for he was teaching them as one who had authority, and not as their scribes.
The Gospel of the Lord
Christ is the Rock

Jesus does not say that the rain, the winds, or the storms will not come. He takes it for granted that they will come. In every marriage there are moments of exhaustion, disagreements, financial worries, difficulties with children, or illness. The difference is not in avoiding the storms, but in the foundation on which the marriage is built. Building on rock means relying on Jesus, on the grace of our sacrament, and on the firm decision to love and to give oneself to one’s spouse. Lord, may You never have to tell us that You do not know us, or that we have drifted away from You.

Brought down to Married Life:

Esther: I don’t know if we can keep going like this. It feels like everything is hitting us at once.
James: I’m exhausted too. Between work, bills, and your father’s worries, I feel like we barely have any patience left.
Esther: Do you remember when we got married? We thought the hard part would be finding time for us… I never imagined all this.
James: Maybe the problem is that we expect the difficulties to disappear one day. And every time a new one comes, it feels like everything is falling apart again.
Esther: Maybe it’s not about the problems going away, but about remembering why we are here. I don’t want to stop choosing love when things get hard.
James: Neither do I want to stop building, even if I sometimes have to learn how to do it all over again.

That night, in their prayer as a couple, their worries did not disappear, but they rediscovered the certainty that as long as they remained united to the Lord and renewed each day their decision to love one another, there would be a grace capable of sustaining them even in the most difficult moments.

Mother,

You who listened to the words of your Son and put them into practice, help us to build a holy marriage for the glory of God. Blessed be your purity!

Listening to You, Lord. Reflection for married couples. Luke 1:5-17

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Gospel of the Day

Gospel according to Luke 1:5–17

 

In the days of Herod, king of Judea, there was a priest named Zechariah, of the division of Abijah. And he had a wife from the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elizabeth. And they were both righteous before God, walking blamelessly in all the commandments and statutes of the Lord. But they had no child, because Elizabeth was barren, and both were advanced in years.
  Now while he was serving as priest before God when his division was on duty, according to the custom of the priesthood, he was chosen by lot to enter the Temple of the Lord and burn incense. And the whole multitude of the people was praying outside at the hour of incense. And there appeared to him an angel of the Lord standing on the right side of the altar of incense. And Zechariah was troubled when he saw him, and fear fell upon him. But the angel said to him, ‘Do not be afraid, Zechariah, for your prayer has been heard, and your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you shall call his name John. And you will have joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth, for he will be great before the Lord. And he must not drink wine or strong drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit, even from his mother’s womb. And he will turn many of the children of Israel to the Lord their God, and he will go before him in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just, to make ready for the Lord a people prepared.’
The Gospel of the Lord

Listening to You, Lord

My dear Jesus, thank you so much for your cousin, your forerunner, of whom you said, “Among those born of women there has not risen anyone greater than John the Baptist.” How much light we receive when we prayerfully reflect on the lives of the saints!

John said that he must decrease so that you might increase. If we do not become smaller each day, recognising that we are nothing without you, dying to our disordered self, to our self-love, then you cannot grow within our hearts and dwell there.

John went into the desert in search of silence. It is only in silence that we can hear you, Lord. We need to listen to you in order to know you and to know ourselves.

John called people to repentance. I need to acknowledge my sin and my weakness so that you can accomplish your work within me.

John lived a life of self-denial. Mortification is necessary to purify my heart and free me from my attachments, so that the spirit may guide my life rather than the desires of the flesh.

And John understood the indissolubility of marriage. He valued it so deeply that he gave his life defending it, even daring to challenge the king for living with a woman who was not his wife.

Saint John, pray for us. Thank you, Lord.

Brought down to Married Life

Esther: John, would you like another beer?

John: No thanks, one is enough.

Esther: That’s unusual! What’s brought that on?

John: One is plenty, thank you. I used to think all this talk about mortification was a bit silly and unimportant. But I’m beginning to realise that if I don’t free myself from these small attachments, even the ones I used to justify, then the bigger battles become much harder to win. These little sacrifices, made out of love for the Lord, help me keep my heart attentive and more aware of his presence.

Esther: Ah, now I understand! I’ve noticed lately that you don’t react to things that used to get on your nerves, and I couldn’t work out why. How wonderful the Lord is!

John: He really is. He gives me so much light in prayer. In the silence I’m discovering his infinite love. I want to love as he loves. And I’ve realised that I need to keep purifying my heart through small acts of sacrifice, uncovering and letting go of attachments so that he can truly reign within me. And you have no idea what peace I have, what joy! It’s infinitely better than that extra beer!

Esther: You’re so sweet! Please help me to persevere as well.

Mother,

Please teach me always to listen to your Son and to follow the guidance of my guardian angel. Help me to deny myself, embrace the cross of each day, and follow him. Blessed and praised be God!