Author Archives: Esposos Misioneros

Recognizing You in My Husband. Reflection for marriages. Matthew 17:10-13

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From the Gospel according to Matthew 17:10-13.
As they were coming down from the mountain, the disciples asked Jesus, “Why do the scribes say that Elijah must come first?” He said in reply, “Elijah will indeed come and restore all things; but I tell you that Elijah has already come, and they did not recognize him but did to him whatever they pleased. So also will the Son of Man suffer at their hands.” Then the disciples understood that he was speaking to them of John the Baptist.

 
Recognizing You in My Husband

Lord, I wonder whether I would have recognized You when You came. And today, do I recognize You in my husband, or do my pride and self-love hide Your presence in him/her? This Advent, I want to learn to see You in my spouse: to speak to him/her with tenderness, to look into his/her eyes and discover there Your gaze. Just as many did not recognize Elijah in John the Baptist because they expected something more spectacular, may we not make the same mistake with You in the everyday.
Saint John Paul II reminded us that husband and wife are a reciprocal gift, a sacrament of Your Love. For this reason, help me to recognize Your ways of reaching me through my spouse, through his/her words, in what he enjoys and what wounds him, in his fragility, and in the small details of daily life.
May I never have to hear: “I sent you a husband as a suitable help, and you did not recognize Me in him/her.”
Lord, this Advent open my eyes and my heart to discover You in my husband and to prepare our hearts together for Your coming.

Applied to Married Life

Miriam: Dan, can we talk about something that’s been on my heart and has worried me a little?
Dan: Of course, sweetheart. Sit down and tell me whatever you need.
Miriam: It’s about our intimacy. I feel that lately we’ve been growing distant… as if our hearts were walking without meeting. It saddens me because I long for us to live a fuller communion.
Dan: Sweetheart, I’ve felt it too. When I come close to you and sense distance, I wonder if your heart no longer wants to unite with mine. And sometimes I fear your silence is a sign that I’m losing you.
Miriam: It’s not rejection, Dan. It’s just that I need to feel your affection and tenderness… that helps me to give myself.
Dan: I understand, Miriam, and I’m sorry for having created distance. When I seek you physically, it’s not only desire; it’s my way of saying, “I need you, I want to unite with you, I want to be one with you.” But when I see you’re tired, I stop… and sometimes I feel frustrated because it seems my desire for communion isn’t welcomed.
Miriam: Oh Dan… I’m so sorry…
Dan: What would help me is that, if you’re not ready, you tell me what you need in order to feel closer. I don’t want to guess or create stories that aren’t real.
Miriam: Of course, Dan. And what would help me is that you show me your affection through small gestures: a hug, a look… without it immediately implying a physical encounter.
Dan: Miriam, thank you for your understanding and for listening to me.
Miriam: Thank you for trusting me with your heart.

Mother,

This Advent, teach us to imitate Your humility in our marriage, so that we may open our hearts to Christ and to mutual communion. Blessed and praised are You forever, Lord.

Restless. Reflection for marriages. Matthew 11:16-19

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From the Gospel according to Matthew, 11, 16-19. 

Jesus said to the crowds: “To what can I compare this generation? They are like children sitting in the marketplaces and calling out to others: “‘We played the pipe for you, and you did not dance; we sang a dirge, and you did not mourn.’ For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, ‘He has a demon.’ The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.’ But wisdom is proved right by her deeds.”

 

Restless.

The Lord’s patience is infinite. He is always calling us, tirelessly, asking for our “yes” to him so that He may work in us. Yet we ignore Him, because we lack faith and because we stubbornly insist on doing our own will. The same happens with our spouse: we insist on being right, and we also lack faith because we fail to fully believe that our spouse is a means through which the Lord leads us to Him. It is part of God’s plan, a beautiful plan in which we must strip ourselves of our own ideas and hand them over to the Lord, so that He may accomplish His work in us and in our marriage.

 

Applied to Married Life.

Charles: You know what, Claire? Ever since we went to the Coyugal Love Proyect retreat, I don’t see you the same way. I’ve gone from seeing you as someone who sometimes got in my way, to seeing you as the person God has placed by my side so that we may reach Him, purely out of grace.
Claire: It’s true, Charles, I feel something similar. And I also know now that I need to let go of my own criteria if I want to be in communion with you and with the Lord. Forgive me for all the times I tried to impose myself and didn’t value you enough, even knowing that you are a mediation for reaching God.
Charles: No, Claire, you forgive me. Because I know there are times when I fail. Thank God the Lord calls me again and again to trust Him more, so that we may place our marriage in His hands and unite ourselves to Him through our sacrament. 

Mother,

You who are the intermediary of all graces, help us to have greater faith so that we may draw closer to Him. Praised be the Lord!

Predilection for the Little Ones. Reflection for marriages. Matthew 11:11-15

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From the Gospel according to Matthew 11:11-15

Jesus said to the crowds: “Amen, I say to you, among those born of women there has been none greater than John the Baptist;
yet the least in the Kingdom of heaven is greater than he. From the days of John the Baptist until now, the Kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and the violent are taking it by force. All the prophets and the law prophesied up to the time of John. And if you are willing to accept it, he is Elijah, the one who is to come. Whoever has ears ought to hear.”

Predilection for the Little Ones

Throughout Sacred Scripture, God shows His predilection for the little ones, the humble. From King David to the Virgin Mary, God looks upon the small, those who listen to His Word and put it into practice. Mary says that Yahweh “has looked upon the humility of His servant.” These two attitudes, humility and listening to the Word, open the doors of heaven.
But let us not forget what Jesus tells us: “Without Me you can do nothing.” We can only be humble and welcome His Word if we allow Him to work in us, if we give Him everything. And for that, it is necessary to have the firm determination to live a life of prayer and sacraments, and a life of ascetic fight against our predominant defect. This violence against the sin within us is what seizes the Kingdom of Heaven.

Applied to Married Life

Peter: How helpful it was when our tutors helped me discover what my dominant defect is. Now I know where to focus my efforts and I’m not swinging blindly, one day here and another there.
Lorrain: It’s true, the same thing happened to me. And how wonderful it is that we know where to help each other, to be the right help for one another.
Peter: Since I learned that I need to aim my efforts at fighting pride, I find so many moments throughout the day to keep my opinion to myself when it’s not necessary, to listen to others and welcome what they say, not to think I’m the smartest…
Lorrain: I love the enthusiasm with which you’ve embraced this path of purification toward holiness. And I admire you when you fall and get back up. I love you, my husband.

Mother,

Help us to fix our gaze on you, the humble one, the handmaid of the Lord. Blessed be Jesus.

Humility brings rest. Reflection for marriages. Matthew 11:28-30

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From the Gospel according to Matthew 11:28-30

Jesus said to the crowds: “Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.”

 

Humility brings rest.

Dear Jesus, yes, I am tired and overwhelmed. I want to go to You so that You may give me relief. I need it. You tell me to learn from You, for You are humble and gentle of heart. And I find myself thinking, what does humility have to do with taking away my overwhelm? But I listen to You. Humility is walking in truth; it is recognizing that I am unable and that You can do all things. That if You allow what is happening, it is because You want to bring a greater good out of it. It is doing all that I can, but trusting that whatever happens will be for the best, even if it is not my plan. If You have allowed it, it is for a reason.
Humility is You, Jesus. You do not look at Yourself, at Your own plans, at Your own criteria, but You look to Your Father and, in Him, to your neighbor, to love, to welcome, to forgive…

So Lord, I place everything in Your Hands. I will do what I can, and I leave the outcome in Your Hands. I trust in You. In You I rest. I am Your child; You love me inconditionally. May Your Will be done, and not mine, my beloved Jesus.

 

Applied to marriage life

Eli: Josh, this isn’t fair! I’m exhausted, I’ve had a terrible day at work, the kids are unbearable, and on top of that you’re making demands

Josh: What do you mean, making demands? Have you heard the way you’re talking? You’re unbearable! I’m done!

(After praying before the cross)

Eli: Josh, I’m sorry. I’m tired and I don’t know what to do. How do I get out of this?

Josh: Eli, forgive me. I love you. I’m overwhelmed too. Do you know what I was praying? When the Lord says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened…” Seeing His humility, I realize I’ve only been thinking about myself, demanding things from you without putting myself in your place. Please, count on me.

Eli: Those words of Jesus bring so much light. If we carry His yoke together, with Him, trusting in Him, it becomes light. I can’t do this alone; everything collapses on me. But with Him and with you, stepping out of myself and my own way of seeing things, I can embrace this situation that overwhelms me the way He would: loving when it hurts. Even if I don’t understand. And that heals. Thank you so much, my love.

Josh: Thank you, too, for helping me get out of myself and draw closer to the Lord. Thank you, Lord, into Your Hands we place ourselves. You know better.

 

Mother,

Help me to listen to your Son and to follow Him. With you both, I fear nothing. Blessed and praised be God!

Going out to meet. Reflection for marriages. Matthew 18:12-14

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From the Gospel according to Matthew 18:12-14

Jesus said to his disciples: “What is your opinion? If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them goes astray, will he not leave the ninety-nine in the hills and go in search of the stray? And if he finds it, amen, I say to you, he rejoices more over it than over the ninety-nine that did not stray. In just the same way, it is not the will of your heavenly Father that one of these little ones be lost.”

Going out to meet.

How much hope and joy these words of Jesus should stir in us knowing that He came into the world to rescue each one of us, and especially the most lost souls, those for whom He rejoices so greatly once they open their hearts to Him and find their way back to the Father’s house. And for us, are we aware that we become the Lord’s instrument when our spouse is lost and strays from the flock? How do I respond when my spouse is blinded by his sin? Do I go quickly to meet him, moved by the desire to console Jesus by collaborating in His plan of salvation, or do I lose patience, judge him, run away from him…? Jesus goes out in search of that sheep; He does not wait for it to return, but goes to meet it. And that is what we must do with our spouses: give ourselves without measure, regardless of the circumstances, because when my spouse deserves it the least is when Jesus needs me the most.

Applied to Married Life:

Rob has been very stressed at work for some time and, when he gets home, he unloads all his nerves on Jo.
Rob: Hi, I’m home! Is dinner ready? I’m so tired… honestly, I don’t think I can keep this up much longer. I’m exhausted…
Jo (thinking to herself): Here he goes again with that terrible mood! Every day the same. I’m going to lock myself in the kitchen and prepare something so he won’t bother me.
That night, during their couple’s prayer time:
Rob: Lord, I want to ask You to help me be gentle and humble, but You know that the workload at this time of year overwhelms me. I beg You, come in search of me, like that lost sheep in today’s Gospel. I want to return to You, but I need help.
Jo: Lord, today You show me that You want me to be Your instrument for Rob; You want me to go out to meet him in Your name, giving him my affection and my smile… You want that when he comes home tired and irritable, I don’t hide, but go out to meet him so that he may feel loved by You through me. Forgive me, Lord, because many times I do the opposite… I run away and leave him alone. I ask You to help me persevere in the path of selfless Love.
Rob: I love you, Jo, my angel, you are the engine of my life.

Mother,

We ask you that, as happened with Saint Juan Diego, we may become your guardians and remain always by your side.
Glory to the Lord who prepares our hearts for His coming!