But an opportunity came when Herod on his birthday gave a banquet for his nobles and military commanders and the leading men of Galilee. For when Herodias’s daughter came in and danced, she pleased Herod and his guests. And the king said to the girl, ‘Ask me for whatever you wish, and I will give it to you.’ And he vowed to her, ‘Whatever you ask me, I will give you, up to half of my kingdom.’ And she went out and said to her mother, ‘For what should I ask?’ And she said, ‘The head of John the Baptist.’ And she came in immediately with haste to the king and asked, saying, ‘I want you to give me at once the head of John the Baptist on a platter.’ And the king was exceedingly sorry, but because of his oaths and his guests he did not want to break his word to her. And immediately the king sent an executioner with orders to bring John’s head. He went and beheaded him in the prison and brought his head on a platter and gave it to the girl, and the girl gave it to her mother. When his disciples heard of it, they came and took his body and laid it in a tomb.
We too, as husbands and wives, are called to be like John the Baptist for one another, helping each other to prepare our hearts on the journey towards an encounter and union with Jesus. But not through imposition or control, because we are not the source of the other person’s good: God is the source of all Good. We are instruments and stewards of that Good, called to receive it and give it to one another.
My spouse is a gift from God, but does not belong to me. To love is not to possess: whoever loves seeks the good of the beloved and desires to please them, while respecting their freedom. The Catechism reminds us that “there is no true freedom except in the service of what is good and just” (CCC 1733). Free will allows us to choose; God’s Will shows us the good to which we are called. Our freedom reaches its fulfilment when we freely choose that Good and unite ourselves to God’s loving will.
Therefore, we spouses, who promised to love and respect one another every day of our lives, are called to live out this respect especially when accompanying one another on the journey towards Christ, even when our pace is different. Marriage consists in giving ourselves to one another, placing our gifts at the service of the common good, and helping each other to grow in intimacy with Christ, without becoming an obstacle to one another and always seeking the true good of our spouse and of the whole family.
God Himself respects our freedom and awaits our “yes”; Mary too, as our Mother, leads us towards Him without imposing herself upon us. Therefore, in marriage we are called to accompany one another without becoming an obstacle, fostering a personal encounter with Christ, caring for our prayer as a couple and walking together, each at our own pace, while also helping our children to walk towards our true destination: Heaven.
Bea: Bruno, I’ve been offered the opportunity to go on a retreat this weekend. As I was praying about it, I feel that the Lord is placing it before me so that I can draw closer to Him.
Bruno (he remains silent, but inwardly it hurts him that his wife wants to spend a weekend away from him. The following day, after praying about it, he says): At first, I wanted to tell you no. I thought about the children, everything that needed to be done and how it wasn’t the best time. But, if I’m honest, there was also some selfishness in me: it was difficult for me to accept you going away and having to stay here on my own.
Bea: Oh, my dear Bruno! How grateful I am that you’ve told me. I don’t want to impose it on you either. I want to discern it together with you, because whatever God wants for me must also be a good for our marriage and our family.
Bruno: That’s what I realised afterwards in prayer. You are a gift from God to me. So, if the Lord is calling you to this encounter, I don’t want to be an obstacle. To love you is to desire your good and respect your freedom, and I love you, Bea.
Bea: Thank you. I love you too, and if I want to go, it is so that I can be filled with more of God, not so that I can distance myself from you all. I want to come back with a heart more filled with Him, so that I can love you and our children better.
Bruno: Then go in peace. I’ll stay with the children and support you. I understand now: if He wants to give you something there, it can also become a gift for all of us. Go and fill yourself up, and then come back and fill me with goodness through lots of kisses and cuddles… hahaha.
Bea: Hahaha… that’s exactly what I’ll do, my love. Thank you so much. You help me greatly to prepare the way towards the Lord: not possessing one another or holding each other back, but drawing closer to Him together.
Mother,
Teach us to be truly free, always choosing what is good and God’s will, always saying yes to Him, with a meek and humble heart like yours. **Blessed and glorious are you, Mother! May the Lord be praised for ever!**