From the Gospel according to Matthew 18:1–5, 10

The disciples approached Jesus and said,
“Who is the greatest in the Kingdom of heaven?”
He called a child over, placed it in their midst, and said,
“Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children,
you will not enter the Kingdom of heaven.
Whoever humbles himself like this child
is the greatest in the Kingdom of heaven.
And whoever receives one child such as this in my name receives me.

“See that you do not despise one of these little ones,
for I say to you that their angels in heaven
always look upon the face of my heavenly Father.”

Little

When the disciples ask the Lord who is the greatest, they probably expect Him to speak about greatness, power or recognition. But the Lord places a child in their midst and completely changes their perspective: in the Kingdom of God, the greatest is the one who makes himself small.

To make ourselves small means recognising that we need God and also others (who are a means through which God reaches us), especially our spouse. A child does not try to control everything; rather, he trusts his father and is willing to be taught.

In marriage, we often want to be “the most important”: to be right, to have the other person acknowledge our efforts, to have things done our way… And without even realising it, we enter into a struggle over who is more in the right.

Today, the Lord shows us a different path: to make ourselves small before our spouse. The way forward is to allow humility towards our spouse to reign in our heart, rather than self-love.

Am I able to ask for forgiveness without waiting for the other person to do so first? Can I admit when I am wrong? Can I listen without already preparing my reply? When one of us makes ourselves small out of love, we do not lose; quite the opposite, we gain: we grow in humility and our marriage gains too, because it is strengthened.

True greatness lies in the simple things we do each day with our spouse in mind: listening to them, helping them, asking about their day… In this way, we allow Christ, in His humility, to reign between us.

Brought into Married Life:

Nathan: Maggie, could you pick the children up from school today? I’m really pushed for time.

Maggie: Nathan, I’ve got loads on as well… I took them to school this morning, I’ve done the shopping, and I still need to get dinner ready.

Nathan: I know, but I have to finish this before six.

Maggie: Nathan, it always seems as though what you have to do is more urgent or more important than what I have to do…

Nathan: Yes, I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m only thinking about what I need and not about what you need.

Maggie: No, you forgive me. I could make myself small now too, instead of getting into the whole “I do more than you” argument.

Nathan: All right, darling… How about I pick the children up today while you get ahead with dinner?

Maggie: That sounds good. And this evening, if you’re really tired, I’ll take care of the children’s baths.

Nathan: I love that! See? In the end, it wasn’t about who was right, but about who was willing to make themselves small out of love for the other.

Maggie: Nathan, now you really are right!

Mother,

Help us to be like children: simple, humble and trusting in our Father.

Praised be the Lord!