From the Gospel according to  Luke 12:1–7

At that time: When so many thousands of the people had gathered together that they were trampling one another, Jesus began to say to his disciples first, ‘Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy. Nothing is covered up that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known. Therefore whatever you have said in the dark shall be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in private rooms shall be proclaimed on the housetops.
  ‘I tell you, my friends, do not fear those who kill the body, and after that have nothing more that they can do. But I will warn you whom to fear: fear him who, after he has killed, has authority to cast into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him! Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.’

Without masks

Today, Jesus warns us against hypocrisy, the leaven that gradually spreads through our hearts and leads us to pretend to be something we are not, presenting an image of ourselves that does not reflect who we truly are. But no mask can hide us from God: He knows our hearts, our intentions and our weaknesses, too.

And the same happens in marriage. We often want our spouse to see the best version of ourselves, so we hide the things we find difficult to acknowledge: our selfishness, our pride, our anger, our insecurities… We may pretend that everything is fine while resentment builds up inside us, and we often struggle to say: “I was wrong”, “Please forgive me”, “I’m hurting” or “I need your help”. We are afraid of showing our weaknesses, of being judged by the other person, or of having our wounds used against us.
Yet we are called to something much greater. We are called to a shared intimacy, to live in communion (a common union) with one another and with Christ. And this intimacy begins to grow when we stop protecting our image and start opening our hearts. It is not about saying everything to each other without charity, but about learning to speak with humility and love.

Jesus invites us not to be afraid. Sometimes we find it difficult to take that first step towards asking for forgiveness, admitting a mistake or approaching our spouse after an argument. But we can take that step, trusting that God will sustain us. We cannot control our spouse’s response, but we can choose to love and act in truth.

Am I living my marriage from a place of trust or fear? Am I trying to be right or to build unity? Do I hide my weaknesses, or do I allow God to transform them?

Bringing it into Married Life:

Yvonne: Hello, darling, I’m home! What a day I’ve had! Haven’t you made anything for dinner? I’m absolutely exhausted! It feels as though I have to think of everything!
James: Well, I’ve come home tired too! It’s as though what I do never counts.
Yvonne: Fine, I’ll sort it out again! You just stay on the sofa, as usual!
James (thinking): I think I’ll pray an Our Father and ask the Lord for help so that this doesn’t turn into another argument… Our Father, who art in heaven…
James: I’m sorry, darling. I got defensive. The truth is, I’m exhausted, and I sat down for a moment without thinking that you needed a rest too.
Yvonne: And I’m sorry for speaking to you like that. I’m feeling overwhelmed, and instead of telling you I need help, I take it out on you.
James: We need to learn to share the light the Lord gives us, to share what is in our hearts, without hiding behind our anger or always wanting to be right.
Yvonne: Yes. Today, Jesus tells us not to be afraid. I want to rely on you more and stop assuming that I have to manage everything on my own.
James: And I want to stop making excuses and learn to listen to you. Let’s make dinner together.