Love The LOVE. Reflection for marriages. Matthew 21:28-32

Leave a Reply
From the Gospel according to Matthew 21:28–32

Jesus said to the chief priests and the elders of the people: “What is your opinion? A man had two sons. He came to the first and said, ‘Son, go out and work in the vineyard today.’ The son said in reply, ‘I will not,’ but afterwards he changed his mind and went. The man came to the other son and gave the same order. He said in reply, ‘Yes, sir,’ but did not go. Which of the two did his father’s will?” They answered, “The first.”Jesus said to them, “Amen, I say to you, tax collectors and prostitutes are entering the Kingdom of God before you. When John came to you in the way of righteousness, you did not believe him; but tax collectors and prostitutes did. Yet even when you saw that, you did not later change your minds and believe him.”

Love The LOVE

To you, dear soul, the Lord speaks. Do the will of the Father; do not grieve the Holy Spirit. Do not postpone what Love is asking of you. Give everything. That idea stuck in your mind that you know you are holding back. That standard you do not want to let go of. That surrender that frightens you. That renunciation you try to negotiate. What you keep and do not give ends up fragmenting and desolating your heart. Surrender peacefully to the Love that does not fight; do not negotiate, do not give yourself in parts. Give yourself completely at once, just as He gave Himself entirely for you on the Cross. Does your heart not move at the inexhaustible love of a God who seeks you tirelessly? The prophets already proclaimed it: “God does not grow weary or tired,” “My love will not be taken from you,” “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” Where will we find such love? May it not be so hard for us to love Him by doing His will! He will never force you; He will always draw you with His love but you must use your strength, your will, to struggle against yourself, because it is from yourself that He comes to save you. Return to His Heart, if at any moment you have strayed. The way back is Christ, perfectly obedient to the Father. Be obedient too. Give Him what you hold back and what He asks of you. Give Him your heart and its affections; give Him your little treasures; give Him your marriage and give Him your misery; the kind no one wants; He does want it. Give everything you have accumulated in this life that does not truly belong to you, because everything is a gift. Strip yourself of everything, be left with nothing, and you will find Everything. And with your gaze fixed on Mary, Mother of God and your Mother, let yourself be guided. She will teach you; let yourself be formed desire to arrive, and you will arrive.

Applied to married life

Karen: Peter, I wouldn’t like you to go out for drinks after the company Christmas dinner. Last year you drank too much and you know what happened…
Peter: My goodness, Karen, are you really asking me that? That’s when we really relax, talk, and build team spirit, which the company badly needs. Everyone is looking forward to that moment! I can’t do that to them, Karen.
Karen: (sad tone) Okay, my love, do what you think is best.
On the night of the dinner, Peter arrived home at midnight, and Karen was reading in bed.
Karen: Well, you’re already back! I’m so happy!
Peter: And I’m happy too, Karen. I won’t deny that it was very hard for me to leave right after dinner, it really was. And the comments from my coworkers… you can imagine… But I couldn’t get out of my head what you told me and the love with which you told it, so I grabbed my coat and left.
Karen: (smiling) Thank you, my love.
Peter: No, thank you, really. You have no idea the feeling of victory I had while walking home. This is a real high, not the kind rum gives. hahaha
Karen: Glory to God!
Peter: Glory to Him, my beautiful and suitable helper always to Him be the glory!

Mother,

Help us always remember your words and make them our own: “Let it be done to me according to Your will.” Everything for the greater glory and praise of our God!

Go and Announce. Reflection for marriages. Matthew 11:2-11

Leave a Reply

From the Gospel according to Matthew, 11:2-11

When John the Baptist heard in prison of the works of the Christ, he sent his disciples to Jesus with this question, “Are you the one who is to come, or should we look for another?” Jesus said to them in reply, “Go and tell John what you hear and see: the blind regain their sight, the lame walk, lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the poor have the good news proclaimed to them. And blessed is the one who takes no offense at me.” 
As they were going off, Jesus began to speak to the crowds about John, “What did you go out to the desert to see? A reed swayed by the wind? Then what did you go out to see? Someone dressed in fine clothing? Those who wear fine clothing are in royal palaces. Then why did you go out? To see a prophet? Yes, I tell you, and more than a prophet. This is the one about whom it is written: Behold, I am sending my messenger ahead of you; he will prepare your way before you. 
Amen, I say to you, among those born of women there has been none greater than John the Baptist; yet the least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he.”

Go and Announce

The darkness of going through a trial or difficulty can lead us to doubt whether we are truly following the right path. John the Baptist although he had pointed to Jesus as “the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world” also lived moments of darkness in prison, and he had to send his disciples to ask for answers. 
In the face of our doubts, the Lord answers with witnesses: Go and announce what you are seeing and hearing. Marriages that were blind, lost, now see the gift they are for one another; those who were living their sacrament in a mediocre way now see the beauty of their marriage; those who were broken by their sin are cleansed and begin a new life; and those who were closed to grace now welcome the Word that saves them. Even couples who had been separated for many years, “dead”, rise again, and the life of their marriage is renewed.
You spouses who are witnesses of all this: do not get tired of announcing what the Lord has done in you and what you contemplate in the Conyugal Love Project retreats.

Applied to Married Life

Steve: Hi Helen! How was your day?
Helen: Good. And yours?
Steve: Well, I ran into Charlie and he told me things are terrible with Kris, that they’re going through a huge crisis and he doesn’t think he can take much more. He said the only reason he’s still at home is because of the kids… and he even told me they might be better off separating.
Helen: Oh my goodness!
Steve: I told him about our own experience, how a couple of years ago we were in a very similar situation, and we were invited to a Conyugal Love Project retreat, and our life changed. We discovered how beautiful our marriage really is.
Helen: And did you tell him we’re not the only ones who’ve discovered this? That there are thousands of couples who have experienced the same thing?
Steve: Yes, and above all that there is light in everything that happens to us. That the difficulties remain, but you learn to live them with the Lord.
Helen: I hope you mentioned the tutor couples, that we never walk alone, that there are those wonderful stretcher-bearers who carry us closer to God…
Steve: Of course! And I invited him to the next retreat.
Helen: And what did he say?
Steve: I could see a ray of hope in him. He said he would bring it up to Kris.
Helen: That’s wonderful! That’s already a step. Now it’s our turn to pray and make sacrifices so that they accept and embrace God’s plan for their marriage.
Steve: Well then, let’s get to it!

Mother,

Help us never to grow tired of thanking the Lord for what He has done for us and of announcing it to other marriages.
Blessed and praised be He forever!

Recognizing You in My Husband. Reflection for marriages. Matthew 17:10-13

Leave a Reply
From the Gospel according to Matthew 17:10-13.
As they were coming down from the mountain, the disciples asked Jesus, “Why do the scribes say that Elijah must come first?” He said in reply, “Elijah will indeed come and restore all things; but I tell you that Elijah has already come, and they did not recognize him but did to him whatever they pleased. So also will the Son of Man suffer at their hands.” Then the disciples understood that he was speaking to them of John the Baptist.

 
Recognizing You in My Husband

Lord, I wonder whether I would have recognized You when You came. And today, do I recognize You in my husband, or do my pride and self-love hide Your presence in him/her? This Advent, I want to learn to see You in my spouse: to speak to him/her with tenderness, to look into his/her eyes and discover there Your gaze. Just as many did not recognize Elijah in John the Baptist because they expected something more spectacular, may we not make the same mistake with You in the everyday.
Saint John Paul II reminded us that husband and wife are a reciprocal gift, a sacrament of Your Love. For this reason, help me to recognize Your ways of reaching me through my spouse, through his/her words, in what he enjoys and what wounds him, in his fragility, and in the small details of daily life.
May I never have to hear: “I sent you a husband as a suitable help, and you did not recognize Me in him/her.”
Lord, this Advent open my eyes and my heart to discover You in my husband and to prepare our hearts together for Your coming.

Applied to Married Life

Miriam: Dan, can we talk about something that’s been on my heart and has worried me a little?
Dan: Of course, sweetheart. Sit down and tell me whatever you need.
Miriam: It’s about our intimacy. I feel that lately we’ve been growing distant… as if our hearts were walking without meeting. It saddens me because I long for us to live a fuller communion.
Dan: Sweetheart, I’ve felt it too. When I come close to you and sense distance, I wonder if your heart no longer wants to unite with mine. And sometimes I fear your silence is a sign that I’m losing you.
Miriam: It’s not rejection, Dan. It’s just that I need to feel your affection and tenderness… that helps me to give myself.
Dan: I understand, Miriam, and I’m sorry for having created distance. When I seek you physically, it’s not only desire; it’s my way of saying, “I need you, I want to unite with you, I want to be one with you.” But when I see you’re tired, I stop… and sometimes I feel frustrated because it seems my desire for communion isn’t welcomed.
Miriam: Oh Dan… I’m so sorry…
Dan: What would help me is that, if you’re not ready, you tell me what you need in order to feel closer. I don’t want to guess or create stories that aren’t real.
Miriam: Of course, Dan. And what would help me is that you show me your affection through small gestures: a hug, a look… without it immediately implying a physical encounter.
Dan: Miriam, thank you for your understanding and for listening to me.
Miriam: Thank you for trusting me with your heart.

Mother,

This Advent, teach us to imitate Your humility in our marriage, so that we may open our hearts to Christ and to mutual communion. Blessed and praised are You forever, Lord.

Restless. Reflection for marriages. Matthew 11:16-19

Leave a Reply

From the Gospel according to Matthew, 11, 16-19. 

Jesus said to the crowds: “To what can I compare this generation? They are like children sitting in the marketplaces and calling out to others: “‘We played the pipe for you, and you did not dance; we sang a dirge, and you did not mourn.’ For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, ‘He has a demon.’ The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.’ But wisdom is proved right by her deeds.”

 

Restless.

The Lord’s patience is infinite. He is always calling us, tirelessly, asking for our “yes” to him so that He may work in us. Yet we ignore Him, because we lack faith and because we stubbornly insist on doing our own will. The same happens with our spouse: we insist on being right, and we also lack faith because we fail to fully believe that our spouse is a means through which the Lord leads us to Him. It is part of God’s plan, a beautiful plan in which we must strip ourselves of our own ideas and hand them over to the Lord, so that He may accomplish His work in us and in our marriage.

 

Applied to Married Life.

Charles: You know what, Claire? Ever since we went to the Coyugal Love Proyect retreat, I don’t see you the same way. I’ve gone from seeing you as someone who sometimes got in my way, to seeing you as the person God has placed by my side so that we may reach Him, purely out of grace.
Claire: It’s true, Charles, I feel something similar. And I also know now that I need to let go of my own criteria if I want to be in communion with you and with the Lord. Forgive me for all the times I tried to impose myself and didn’t value you enough, even knowing that you are a mediation for reaching God.
Charles: No, Claire, you forgive me. Because I know there are times when I fail. Thank God the Lord calls me again and again to trust Him more, so that we may place our marriage in His hands and unite ourselves to Him through our sacrament. 

Mother,

You who are the intermediary of all graces, help us to have greater faith so that we may draw closer to Him. Praised be the Lord!

Predilection for the Little Ones. Reflection for marriages. Matthew 11:11-15

Leave a Reply
From the Gospel according to Matthew 11:11-15

Jesus said to the crowds: “Amen, I say to you, among those born of women there has been none greater than John the Baptist;
yet the least in the Kingdom of heaven is greater than he. From the days of John the Baptist until now, the Kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and the violent are taking it by force. All the prophets and the law prophesied up to the time of John. And if you are willing to accept it, he is Elijah, the one who is to come. Whoever has ears ought to hear.”

Predilection for the Little Ones

Throughout Sacred Scripture, God shows His predilection for the little ones, the humble. From King David to the Virgin Mary, God looks upon the small, those who listen to His Word and put it into practice. Mary says that Yahweh “has looked upon the humility of His servant.” These two attitudes, humility and listening to the Word, open the doors of heaven.
But let us not forget what Jesus tells us: “Without Me you can do nothing.” We can only be humble and welcome His Word if we allow Him to work in us, if we give Him everything. And for that, it is necessary to have the firm determination to live a life of prayer and sacraments, and a life of ascetic fight against our predominant defect. This violence against the sin within us is what seizes the Kingdom of Heaven.

Applied to Married Life

Peter: How helpful it was when our tutors helped me discover what my dominant defect is. Now I know where to focus my efforts and I’m not swinging blindly, one day here and another there.
Lorrain: It’s true, the same thing happened to me. And how wonderful it is that we know where to help each other, to be the right help for one another.
Peter: Since I learned that I need to aim my efforts at fighting pride, I find so many moments throughout the day to keep my opinion to myself when it’s not necessary, to listen to others and welcome what they say, not to think I’m the smartest…
Lorrain: I love the enthusiasm with which you’ve embraced this path of purification toward holiness. And I admire you when you fall and get back up. I love you, my husband.

Mother,

Help us to fix our gaze on you, the humble one, the handmaid of the Lord. Blessed be Jesus.