Restless. Reflection for marriages. Matthew 11:16-19

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From the Gospel according to Matthew, 11, 16-19. 

Jesus said to the crowds: “To what can I compare this generation? They are like children sitting in the marketplaces and calling out to others: “‘We played the pipe for you, and you did not dance; we sang a dirge, and you did not mourn.’ For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, ‘He has a demon.’ The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.’ But wisdom is proved right by her deeds.”

 

Restless.

The Lord’s patience is infinite. He is always calling us, tirelessly, asking for our “yes” to him so that He may work in us. Yet we ignore Him, because we lack faith and because we stubbornly insist on doing our own will. The same happens with our spouse: we insist on being right, and we also lack faith because we fail to fully believe that our spouse is a means through which the Lord leads us to Him. It is part of God’s plan, a beautiful plan in which we must strip ourselves of our own ideas and hand them over to the Lord, so that He may accomplish His work in us and in our marriage.

 

Applied to Married Life.

Charles: You know what, Claire? Ever since we went to the Coyugal Love Proyect retreat, I don’t see you the same way. I’ve gone from seeing you as someone who sometimes got in my way, to seeing you as the person God has placed by my side so that we may reach Him, purely out of grace.
Claire: It’s true, Charles, I feel something similar. And I also know now that I need to let go of my own criteria if I want to be in communion with you and with the Lord. Forgive me for all the times I tried to impose myself and didn’t value you enough, even knowing that you are a mediation for reaching God.
Charles: No, Claire, you forgive me. Because I know there are times when I fail. Thank God the Lord calls me again and again to trust Him more, so that we may place our marriage in His hands and unite ourselves to Him through our sacrament. 

Mother,

You who are the intermediary of all graces, help us to have greater faith so that we may draw closer to Him. Praised be the Lord!

Predilection for the Little Ones. Reflection for marriages. Matthew 11:11-15

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From the Gospel according to Matthew 11:11-15

Jesus said to the crowds: “Amen, I say to you, among those born of women there has been none greater than John the Baptist;
yet the least in the Kingdom of heaven is greater than he. From the days of John the Baptist until now, the Kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and the violent are taking it by force. All the prophets and the law prophesied up to the time of John. And if you are willing to accept it, he is Elijah, the one who is to come. Whoever has ears ought to hear.”

Predilection for the Little Ones

Throughout Sacred Scripture, God shows His predilection for the little ones, the humble. From King David to the Virgin Mary, God looks upon the small, those who listen to His Word and put it into practice. Mary says that Yahweh “has looked upon the humility of His servant.” These two attitudes, humility and listening to the Word, open the doors of heaven.
But let us not forget what Jesus tells us: “Without Me you can do nothing.” We can only be humble and welcome His Word if we allow Him to work in us, if we give Him everything. And for that, it is necessary to have the firm determination to live a life of prayer and sacraments, and a life of ascetic fight against our predominant defect. This violence against the sin within us is what seizes the Kingdom of Heaven.

Applied to Married Life

Peter: How helpful it was when our tutors helped me discover what my dominant defect is. Now I know where to focus my efforts and I’m not swinging blindly, one day here and another there.
Lorrain: It’s true, the same thing happened to me. And how wonderful it is that we know where to help each other, to be the right help for one another.
Peter: Since I learned that I need to aim my efforts at fighting pride, I find so many moments throughout the day to keep my opinion to myself when it’s not necessary, to listen to others and welcome what they say, not to think I’m the smartest…
Lorrain: I love the enthusiasm with which you’ve embraced this path of purification toward holiness. And I admire you when you fall and get back up. I love you, my husband.

Mother,

Help us to fix our gaze on you, the humble one, the handmaid of the Lord. Blessed be Jesus.

Humility brings rest. Reflection for marriages. Matthew 11:28-30

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From the Gospel according to Matthew 11:28-30

Jesus said to the crowds: “Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.”

 

Humility brings rest.

Dear Jesus, yes, I am tired and overwhelmed. I want to go to You so that You may give me relief. I need it. You tell me to learn from You, for You are humble and gentle of heart. And I find myself thinking, what does humility have to do with taking away my overwhelm? But I listen to You. Humility is walking in truth; it is recognizing that I am unable and that You can do all things. That if You allow what is happening, it is because You want to bring a greater good out of it. It is doing all that I can, but trusting that whatever happens will be for the best, even if it is not my plan. If You have allowed it, it is for a reason.
Humility is You, Jesus. You do not look at Yourself, at Your own plans, at Your own criteria, but You look to Your Father and, in Him, to your neighbor, to love, to welcome, to forgive…

So Lord, I place everything in Your Hands. I will do what I can, and I leave the outcome in Your Hands. I trust in You. In You I rest. I am Your child; You love me inconditionally. May Your Will be done, and not mine, my beloved Jesus.

 

Applied to marriage life

Eli: Josh, this isn’t fair! I’m exhausted, I’ve had a terrible day at work, the kids are unbearable, and on top of that you’re making demands

Josh: What do you mean, making demands? Have you heard the way you’re talking? You’re unbearable! I’m done!

(After praying before the cross)

Eli: Josh, I’m sorry. I’m tired and I don’t know what to do. How do I get out of this?

Josh: Eli, forgive me. I love you. I’m overwhelmed too. Do you know what I was praying? When the Lord says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened…” Seeing His humility, I realize I’ve only been thinking about myself, demanding things from you without putting myself in your place. Please, count on me.

Eli: Those words of Jesus bring so much light. If we carry His yoke together, with Him, trusting in Him, it becomes light. I can’t do this alone; everything collapses on me. But with Him and with you, stepping out of myself and my own way of seeing things, I can embrace this situation that overwhelms me the way He would: loving when it hurts. Even if I don’t understand. And that heals. Thank you so much, my love.

Josh: Thank you, too, for helping me get out of myself and draw closer to the Lord. Thank you, Lord, into Your Hands we place ourselves. You know better.

 

Mother,

Help me to listen to your Son and to follow Him. With you both, I fear nothing. Blessed and praised be God!

Going out to meet. Reflection for marriages. Matthew 18:12-14

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From the Gospel according to Matthew 18:12-14

Jesus said to his disciples: “What is your opinion? If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them goes astray, will he not leave the ninety-nine in the hills and go in search of the stray? And if he finds it, amen, I say to you, he rejoices more over it than over the ninety-nine that did not stray. In just the same way, it is not the will of your heavenly Father that one of these little ones be lost.”

Going out to meet.

How much hope and joy these words of Jesus should stir in us knowing that He came into the world to rescue each one of us, and especially the most lost souls, those for whom He rejoices so greatly once they open their hearts to Him and find their way back to the Father’s house. And for us, are we aware that we become the Lord’s instrument when our spouse is lost and strays from the flock? How do I respond when my spouse is blinded by his sin? Do I go quickly to meet him, moved by the desire to console Jesus by collaborating in His plan of salvation, or do I lose patience, judge him, run away from him…? Jesus goes out in search of that sheep; He does not wait for it to return, but goes to meet it. And that is what we must do with our spouses: give ourselves without measure, regardless of the circumstances, because when my spouse deserves it the least is when Jesus needs me the most.

Applied to Married Life:

Rob has been very stressed at work for some time and, when he gets home, he unloads all his nerves on Jo.
Rob: Hi, I’m home! Is dinner ready? I’m so tired… honestly, I don’t think I can keep this up much longer. I’m exhausted…
Jo (thinking to herself): Here he goes again with that terrible mood! Every day the same. I’m going to lock myself in the kitchen and prepare something so he won’t bother me.
That night, during their couple’s prayer time:
Rob: Lord, I want to ask You to help me be gentle and humble, but You know that the workload at this time of year overwhelms me. I beg You, come in search of me, like that lost sheep in today’s Gospel. I want to return to You, but I need help.
Jo: Lord, today You show me that You want me to be Your instrument for Rob; You want me to go out to meet him in Your name, giving him my affection and my smile… You want that when he comes home tired and irritable, I don’t hide, but go out to meet him so that he may feel loved by You through me. Forgive me, Lord, because many times I do the opposite… I run away and leave him alone. I ask You to help me persevere in the path of selfless Love.
Rob: I love you, Jo, my angel, you are the engine of my life.

Mother,

We ask you that, as happened with Saint Juan Diego, we may become your guardians and remain always by your side.
Glory to the Lord who prepares our hearts for His coming!

To Do and to Let it be done. Reflection for marriages. Like 1:26-38

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From the Gospel according to Luke 1:26-38

The angel Gabriel was sent from God to a town of Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man named Joseph, of the house of David, and the virgin’s name was Mary. And coming to her, he said, “Hail, full of grace! The Lord is with you.” But she was greatly troubled at what was said and pondered what sort of greeting this might be. Then the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name him Jesus. He will be great and will be called Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give him the throne of David his father,and he will rule over the house of Jacob forever, and of his Kingdom there will be no end.” But Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I have no relations with a man?” And the angel said to her in reply, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you.Therefore the child to be born will be called holy, the Son of God. And behold, Elizabeth, your relative, has also conceived a son in her old age, and this is the sixth month for her who was called barren; for nothing will be impossible for God.”Mary said, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.” Then the angel departed from her.

To Do and to Let it be done.

Today we celebrate the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. Our Mother’s “Let it be done” is one of the most magnificent human acts in history; it is not just a pious expression: it is a pure act of love and trust. Mary does not know how what God proposes will come about, but her yes is not naïve; it is courageous because it renounces control over the outcome.
In marriage, this renunciation is essential. None of us begin our marriage knowing what life will be like, whether illness will come, job changes, infertility or unexpected children, economic crises, or all the differences we discover over the years. The marital “let it be done” means admitting that we do not have absolute control over life.
“Let it be done” is accepting the reality of the other person and of oneself, without trying to impose our own view of things. But giving up control does not mean passivity or indifference; it means loving without possessing or manipulating. It means accepting that the other has different ideas, tastes, and emotions and not trying to shape them according to our own design. True love appears when control gives way to trust.
But just as the Virgin is not the one who makes it happen, rather, the angel tells her that the Holy Spirit will come upon her; we too, as spouses, are called to allow ourselves to be shaped by the Holy Spirit. In marriage, “let it be done” is not merely a “moral effort” or an “I have to manage this,” but above all a humble openness to God’s action within the relationship. Spouses cannot transform themselves by sheer willpower, but they can open themselves so that the Spirit may transform our hardness into tenderness, our indifference into attentive regard, our tiredness into patient service, our ego into fruitful self-giving. Our part is to acknowledge that we are frail, but God can do in us what we cannot do alone. Of course, God does not do His “almost everything” if we do not offer our “almost nothing.”

Applyed to Married Life:

Rose: You know? Today, while I was praying, I was thinking about Mary’s “let it be done.” And I asked myself how that “let it be done” sounds in our marriage.
James: And how do you think it sounds?
Rose: Sometimes… it sounds like “let it be done” when I accept that you’re tired and I don’t ask more of you than you can give. Or when I let my plans fall aside to listen to yours, and I try not to impose my own ways or my own hurry.
James: Then it also sounds like “let it be done” when I let go of my pride and tell myself: “I don’t have to feel wounded by my wife’s struggles.” Or when I hold you even if I didn’t fully understand what you were feeling.
Rose: The thing is, “let it be done” isn’t just for the big moments… it’s for the small daily renunciations. Don’t you think?
James: Absolutely. And also for the surprises we can’t control. Like the problems we’ve had with our daughters, or with our jobs… and also in those situations we have to remember to say our “let it be done.”
Rose: Yes. It’s trusting that God can bring something good even when we don’t know how to move forward.
James: And to do it together. Your “let it be done” strengthens me. It reminds me that I don’t walk alone.
Ros: And yours brings me peace. It helps me believe that whatever comes, if we live it united, it can become fruitful.
James: Then… shall we say it?
Both (softly): “Lord, let Your will be done in us.”

Mother,

Immaculate Mary, woman of the “let it be done,” teach us to say our yes with love each day. May God’s will always be fulfilled in our marriage. May our God be praised forever.