Believing Without Understanding. Reflection for marriages John (3:7b–15)

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Gospel of the Day
A reading from the holy Gospel according to John (3:7b–15)
Jesus said to Nicodemus:
“‘You must be born from above.’
The wind blows where it wills, and you can hear the sound it makes,
but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes;
so it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.”
Nicodemus answered and said to him,
‘How can this happen?”
Jesus answered and said to him,
“You are the teacher of Israel and you do not understand this?
Amen, amen, I say to you,
we speak of what we know and we testify to what we have seen,
but you people do not accept our testimony.
If I tell you about earthly things and you do not believe,
how will you believe if I tell you about heavenly things?
No one has gone up to heaven
except the one who has come down from heaven, the Son of Man.
And just as Moses lifted up the serpent in the desert,
so must the Son of Man be lifted up,
so that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life.”

Believing Without Understanding
It is striking that nowadays we are used to “knowing” everything — and if we do not, we simply look it up on our phones or ask AI. Through this Gospel, we see that the things of God do not work like that. That is why Jesus tells Nicodemus that he must be born again.
The same happens in our marriage. We try to understand each other through human logic, and then it can seem as though we have completely opposite characters, that our gifts — instead of helping — become obstacles, or even that we made a mistake because we feel we have nothing in common with our spouse.
But God does everything well. He invites us to strip ourselves of our ego and be born again. Only then can there be a true marriage: becoming one flesh means being reborn within our marriage, allowing the Lord to dwell at the centre of our sacrament — making it something eternal, not something fleeting as the world often suggests today.

Applied to Married Life
Henry: Alicia, do you know I was speaking with my cousin Charles this morning? I hadn’t seen him well lately, so I asked if something was wrong.
Alicia: Poor thing… what did he say?
Henry: I was quite shocked. He told me he is considering separating from Carmen. He thinks they’ve been together too many years, that their marriage has become routine, that they have opposite characters, and now that their children have left home, it feels like they have nothing in common. He thinks maybe it is time to start again — each on their own.
Alicia: That’s heartbreaking… they must be suffering so much. If you agree, Henry, speak to him again and I will talk to Carmen. We can tell them that the Lord is giving them a new opportunity to begin again in their marriage — a “rebirth”. That they should ask each other for help, go to Mass together, pray together, and that we will be there for whatever they need.
Henry: That sounds like a great idea. I also mentioned to Charles that we have the Proyecto Amor Conyugal retreat next month, but he said he couldn’t be bothered to give up a weekend for that, and he doesn’t think anything can be fixed in just two days.
Alicia: Well, with God’s help, we must convince them that this weekend could be the best investment of their lives… shall we get started?
Henry: Let’s do it! We’ll call them now. But first, let’s pray the Rosary for them — above all, they need prayers.
Prayer

Mother,

Help us to be born again in the Lord.
May He be forever blessed and praised!

To be born anew, again and again. Reflection for marriages John 3:1–8

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A reading from the holy Gospel according to John 3:1–8

There was a Pharisee named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews.
He came to Jesus at night and said to him,
“Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God,
for no one can do these signs that you are doing
unless God is with him.”
Jesus answered and said to him,
“Amen, amen, I say to you,
unless one is born from above, he cannot see the Kingdom of God.”
Nicodemus said to him,
“How can a man once grown old be born again?
Surely he cannot reenter his mother’s womb and be born again, can he?”
Jesus answered,
“Amen, amen, I say to you,
unless one is born of water and Spirit
he cannot enter the Kingdom of God.
What is born of flesh is flesh
and what is born of spirit is spirit.
Do not be amazed that I told you,
‘You must be born from above.’
The wind blows where it wills,
and you can hear the sound it makes,
but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes;
so it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.

To be born anew, again and again
When Jesus speaks of “being born again”, it is a direct call to each one of us: love cannot be sustained only by what it was at the beginning; it needs to be reborn constantly. The “yes” of the wedding day is not enough — we must choose one another again.
Nicodemus thinks in a literal way (“How can one return to the womb?”), just as we often do: “this is just how it is”, “this is how I am”, “this is how the relationship is”. But Jesus opens up another dimension: it is not about repeating the past, but about allowing something new to happen from within. We must allow love to be purified (water), cleansing wounds, resentments, and reproaches; and we must allow love to be lifted up (Spirit). Jesus speaks of the Spirit, confirming that this new birth is not something we achieve by ourselves, but something that is accomplished in Him. In fact, “to be born” is a verb that hides its passivity, because properly speaking, “we are born”: we owe our birth to our mother, who labours and brings us into life. And this new birth we owe to the Holy Spirit, who gradually disposes us towards a different way of living — a way of living in the freedom God originally dreamed for us, enabling us to love more freely, more patiently, and more generously.
Jesus reminds us that if a relationship remains only at a superficial level (attraction, routine, cohabitation), it becomes impoverished (“What is born of the flesh is flesh…”). But when the “Spirit” enters — self-giving, forgiveness, openness to the other as they are — love is transformed. A living marriage is one that allows itself to be renewed time and again, one that learns to “be born again” together, even after crises, weariness, or the passing of years.

Applied to married life:
Paloma: Alfonso… I feel that lately we’ve been on autopilot, don’t you? As if everything has become routine.
Alfonso: Yes… like when I put the car on autopilot… although ours doesn’t even have that.
Paloma: (laughs) Something like that… but seriously, it saddens me that we might lose what we once had.
Alfonso: Me too. But I was thinking today… perhaps we need to “start again”.
Paloma: Start again? That reminds me of “being born again”… as if God were giving us another opportunity within the same marriage.
Alfonso: Another opportunity? Are we going to have another marriage now? At our age, that sounds exhausting.
Paloma: (smiles) Silly… no, seriously. I think it means allowing God to renew what we have from within — not just changing external things.
Alfonso: So… fewer arguments about silly things and more… loving each other better?
Paloma: Yes. Clearing away what weighs us down… and making space for something new. As if love could begin again, but more deeply — asking God for help, because on our own we won’t manage.
Alfonso: Well, I could do with that… because sometimes there’s more “flesh” than “spirit” in me.
Paloma: That happens to all of us. But if we let God breathe… even if we cannot control it, He can do something beautiful in us.
Alfonso: So… shall we begin again?
Paloma: Let us choose each other again. And this time, with God at the centre.
Alfonso: Alright… but just so it’s clear — if we are “born again”, I’m not changing any nappies!
Prayer

Mother,

grant that, like you, we may trust even when we do not understand everything, and allow the Spirit to renew our lives.
Blessed are you, Lord, for these lights you inspire within us.

Mercy, our God. Reflection for marriages John 20:,19-31

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From the Gospel according to John20:19-31

On the evening of that first day of the week,when the doors were locked, where the disciples were,for fear of the Jews,Jesus came and stood in their midstand said to them, “Peace be with you.”When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side.The disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord.Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you.As the Father has sent me, so I send you.”And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them,“Receive the Holy Spirit.Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them,and whose sins you retain are retained.”
Thomas, called Didymus, one of the Twelve,was not with them when Jesus came.So the other disciples said to him, “We have seen the Lord.”But he said to them,“Unless I see the mark of the nails in his handsand put my finger into the nailmarksand put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”
Now a week later his disciples were again insideand Thomas was with them.Jesus came, although the doors were locked,and stood in their midst and said, “Peace be with you.”Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands,and bring your hand and put it into my side,and do not be unbelieving, but believe.”Thomas answered and said to him, “My Lord and my God!”Jesus said to him, “Have you come to believe because you have seen me?Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.”
Now, Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciplesthat are not written in this book.But these are written that you may come to believethat Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God,and that through this belief you may have life in his name.

The Gospel of the Lord

Mercy, our God

It is striking to see how, just a few days earlier, the disciples entered Jerusalem full of excitement and human expectations, following a “triumphant” Messiah and feeling part of a “successful project.” The Cross shatters all of that.
Now they are locked away, afraid, confused… and confronted with their own weakness. They have gone from expecting things from God to needing God Himself. What a great blessing! Yes, it is now that they are ready to receive the Love that comes to meet them in their misery.
Today we celebrate the Mercy of our God—His “Plan of Love” in our history.

Applied to married life

A prayer of a married couple before the Blessed Sacrament:
Lord, today we come to You as husband and wife, in the midst of this cross that we struggle to understand.It weighs on us, it hurts… and so often we don’t know how to carry it.
We recognize that we have tried to sustain our marriage with our own strength, demanding from each other what only You can give.And today we see that we cannot do it on our own.
So we ask for Your help, our Lord.Come and stand between us.Hold together what is breaking, heal what is wounded, and bring light to what we do not understand.
Teach us to look more at You than at our difficulties, and to walk together toward You—even in the midst of pain.
We surrender our need to “fix things” so that You may act within us.Lord, in You we trust!


Mother,

Teach us to trust in the plan of your Son.Forever blessed and praised be He who redeemed us with His Blood.

Go out to the whole world. Reflection for marriages Mark 16:9-15.

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From the Gospel according to Mark16:9–15

When Jesus had risen, early on the first day of the week,he appeared first to Mary Magdalene,out of whom he had driven seven demons.She went and told his companions who were mourning and weeping.When they heard that he was aliveand had been seen by her, they did not believe.
After this he appeared in another formto two of them walking along on their way to the country.They returned and told the others;but they did not believe them either.
But later, as the Eleven were at table, he appeared to themand rebuked them for their unbelief and hardness of heartbecause they had not believed thosewho saw him after he had been raised.He said to them, “Go into the whole worldand proclaim the Gospel to every creature.”
The Gospel of the Lord

Go out to the whole world
Jesus told us: “You are my friends if you do what I command you” (Jn 15:14). And in this Gospel, the risen Christ urges us to proclaim the Good News to the whole world: Jesus Christ is risen—He has conquered death!
We are witnesses to Christ’s Resurrection in our marriage—we have seen it and we are living it. We cannot remain silent! Spouses, let us go out into the whole world to proclaim the joy of the Resurrection: to our family, friends, acquaintances, at work, in our social lives—in every corner of our daily reality—announcing the Gospel of marriage, because that is our world. Through our witness, through the example of our lives, we must proclaim the Good News of marriage to everyone.

Applied to married life:

Rose: You know what? I’m so happy. This morning a colleague came to me and said that she and her husband were thinking about getting divorced. She asked me what had happened to me lately, because I seem so joyful and never complain about you anymore. So I told her about the beauty of marriage as God intended it, about the possibility of going on a retreat, of giving each other another chance… and I think she might suggest it to her husband.
Alfie: Rose, my dear, maybe you shouldn’t mix marriage topics with your work.
Rose: When Christ asked us to proclaim the Gospel, He didn’t exclude places or moments. He told us to go out into the whole world and proclaim it to all creation.
Alfie: Considering how hard it was for you to get that job, don’t you think you might be overexposing yourself?
Rose: Remember today’s first reading, Alfie—when the apostles were forbidden to preach in Jesus’ name, and they replied that they must obey God rather than men. Besides, when you’ve discovered the greatness of marriage in your own life, you simply can’t keep it to yourself.
Alfie: That’s true. Sometimes human fears hold me back. But it’s wonderful that your coworkers have noticed the change in us—and I admire your courage. You’re right: we’ve discovered the greatness of our marriage, and we shouldn’t be afraid to be witnesses to what God has done in us.

Mother,

Teach us to live always doing the will of the Father, proclaiming the Word of the Son without fear of the world or its consequences, but abandoning ourselves to His providence, just as you always did. Blessed and glorious are you, Mother! Praise be the Lord forever!

In you I trust . Reflection for marriages. John 21:1-14

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From the Gospel according to John 21:1–14
Jesus revealed himself again to his disciples at the Sea of Tiberias.
He revealed himself in this way.
Together were Simon Peter, Thomas called Didymus, Nathanael from Cana in Galilee,
Zebedee’s sons, and two others of his disciples.
Simon Peter said to them, “I am going fishing.”
They said to him, “We also will come with you.”
So they went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing.
When it was already dawn, Jesus was standing on the shore; but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus. Jesus said to them, “Children, have you caught anything to eat?”
They answered him, “No.”
So he said to them, “Cast the net over the right side of the boat and you will find something.”
So they cast it, and were not able to pull it in
because of the number of fish.
So the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord.”
When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord,
he tucked in his garment, for he was lightly clad,
and jumped into the sea.
The other disciples came in the boat,for they were not far from shore, only about a hundred yards, dragging the net with the fish.
When they climbed out on shore, they saw a charcoal fire with fish on it and bread.
Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish you just caught.”
So Simon Peter went over and dragged the net ashore full of one hundred fifty-three large fish.
Even though there were so many, the net was not torn.
Jesus said to them, “Come, have breakfast.”
And none of the disciples dared to ask him, “Who are you?” because they realized it was the Lord.
Jesus came over and took the bread and gave it to them, and in like manner the fish.
This was now the third time Jesus was revealed to his disciples after being raised from the dead.
The Gospel of the Lord

In You I trust

The apostles relive another moment of a miraculous catch of fish. The first time was when the Lord called Simon Peter to follow Him, at the beginning of His public ministry. There, He invited him to leave his nets behind and become a fisher of men.
Now the scene repeats itself: without their Master, the apostles return to the life they had once left behind. They go fishing—and once again, they catch nothing. In that moment, Jesus appears and tells them to cast the net again, and it comes up completely full of fish. Even so, the only one who recognizes the Lord is the beloved disciple, who then bears witness to the others.
In the same way, we are called to trust in the Lord and to be witnesses—especially when our spouse’s faith may falter.

Applied to married life

Ana: Martin I can’t take it anymore! This is the last time I’m saying it—are you even listening to me?
Martin: Hard not to—I hear you, and so do the neighbors. But tell me, love, what’s going on?
Ana: You’re right… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have shouted at you. And thank you for not responding in the same tone—we could’ve ended up in a big argument like we used to.
Martin: Come here, sit with me and tell me what’s wrong. (He hugs her as she sits down, knowing it comforts her.)
Ana: Oh… this feels so good. This is exactly what I needed. Thank you—I’ve even forgotten what I was going to say. Clearly, it wasn’t that important…
Martin: I’m here for whatever you need. And I’m sorry too—I might have been a bit distracted when you were talking to me.
Ana: The Lord makes all things new, and He is certainly making our marriage new. We just need to trust in Him and be attentive when the other one is struggling. Lord, give us trust in You, so that even after a night without catching anything, we may still trust and cast our nets again. Thank You, Lord!

Mother,

Thank You for your yes. Thank You for giving us Your Son and for accompanying Him all the way to the Cross. Thank You for being our Mother, for never giving up on any marriage. Blessed are You forever!