Poor Love. Reflection for Married Couples. John 6, 1-15

GOSPEL

The feeding of the five thousand
A reading from the holy Gospel according to John 
Jn 6:1-15

Jesus went off to the other side of the Sea of Galilee – or of Tiberias – and a large crowd followed him, impressed by the signs he gave by curing the sick. Jesus climbed the hillside, and sat down there with his disciples. It was shortly before the Jewish feast of Passover.
  Looking up, Jesus saw the crowds approaching and said to Philip, ‘Where can we buy some bread for these people to eat?’ He only said this to test Philip; he himself knew exactly what he was going to do. Philip answered, ‘Two hundred denarii would only buy enough to give them a small piece each.’ One of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, said, ‘There is a small boy here with five barley loaves and two fish; but what is that between so many?’ Jesus said to them, ‘Make the people sit down.’ There was plenty of grass there, and as many as five thousand men sat down. Then Jesus took the loaves, gave thanks, and gave them out to all who were sitting ready; he then did the same with the fish, giving out as much as was wanted. When they had eaten enough he said to the disciples, ‘Pick up the pieces left over, so that nothing gets wasted.’ So they picked them up, and filled twelve hampers with scraps left over from the meal of five barley loaves. The people, seeing this sign that he had given, said, ‘This really is the prophet who is to come into the world.’ Jesus, who could see they were about to come and take him by force and make him king, escaped back to the hills by himself.

The Gospel of the Lord

Poor Love

The atmosphere between us might be strained. I may have been negatively affected by a multitude of situations crowding my mind, which I obsessively mull over: “It’s not fair for them to say that about me,” “How can they see me so negatively?” “They don’t appreciate anything I do,” and so on.
It is time to stop focusing on myself and lamenting, and instead turn to Divine Abundance. He will lift me out of this darkness and satisfy me with His love if I offer up ours. It is time to move beyond myself and into you. I contemplate God, His greatness, and serve my spouse, cherishing all the good and beautiful things God has given me in them.

Applied to Married Life:

John: We’ve been spiralling into a dark place that blinds and saddens me, making it hard to see the light. But Jesus sees our hunger and will do whatever it takes to satisfy it.

Theresa: Perhaps it’s time to lie down on the grass and wait for Him to fill the void in our hearts with His power. It’s time to look to the heavens and ask Him, with humility: “Lord, we can’t do this on our own. I don’t have what it takes to fill my spouse’s heart. My poor attempts at love don’t satisfy. But I will do my best. Help me.”
John: This is something supernatural, and therefore, hard for me to grasp, but I will try. I will go to confession, contemplate God and His greatness, all the good He has given me. I will reflect on your gifts, my wife. How wonderful you are, how hard you work, how you help me be more sociable, how dedicated you are… I ask the Lord for help, do my part, and wait for His assistance to see all the good and beauty in you, my wife, and in our marriage. He always blesses us.

Mother,

Today I join the young boy, who seemed to have very little to offer with his meal; yet when he gave what he had to Jesus, it fed a multitude. Mother, I give you my weakness, my inability to love as I should… offer it to Jesus for me, because I do love the spouse you have given me, but I want to do it better. Let none of what you give me be lost, Mother, protect it. Praise be to the Lord for His abundant generosity. Amen.

With Your Weeds. Reflection for Married Couples. Matthew 13, 24-30

GOSPEL

Let them both grow till the harvest
A reading from the holy Gospel according to Matthew 
Mt.13:24-30

Jesus put another parable before the crowds: ‘The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a man who sowed good seed in his field. While everybody was asleep his enemy came, sowed darnel all among the wheat, and made off. When the new wheat sprouted and ripened, the darnel appeared as well. The owner’s servants went to him and said, “Sir, was it not good seed that you sowed in your field? If so, where does the darnel come from?” “Some enemy has done this” he answered. And the servants said, “Do you want us to go and weed it out?” But he said, “No, because when you weed out the darnel you might pull up the wheat with it. Let them both grow till the harvest; and at harvest time I shall say to the reapers: First collect the darnel and tie it in bundles to be burnt, then gather the wheat into my barn.”’

The Gospel of the Lord

With Your Weeds

In trying to correct and change something I dislike in the other person, I might end up hurting them or pushing them to rebel and bring out something even worse. Too much correction without charity, where I’m only trying to get rid of what bothers me, is what we call “weeding.”
We all have wheat and weeds within us, but our task is to collaborate with the Kingdom of Love to nurture what is good and beautiful in ourselves and in others. This is only possible if done with love, focusing on the good, on the wheat, and not on the weeds. We must accept it with absolute trust in the Lord, knowing that He is preparing us and that those weeds can help bring about a greater good and help us grow in virtue. As spouses, let us remain steadfast in the pain caused by our own weeds and those of our partner, waiting for God’s intervention. He will step in when He deems it the right moment, the great moment!
Here I am, Lord, waiting for the action of the Holy Spirit, who will draw me fully into Your Most Sacred Heart, making us one in You forever.

Applied to Married Life:

Charles: We’re always the last to leave every meeting. You talk more than anyone, it’s so boring…
Anne: (Feels sad and only sees Charles’s anger.)
Charles: (Still angry) You’re so selfish, always thinking only of yourself and what suits you at the moment. You know I hate waiting through those endless goodbyes. Have you ever thought about me?
Anne: (Begins to feel anger towards Charles) How can you say I only think of myself? It’s unfair for you to say that when I’m the one who always checks in with you about when you’re coming. You’re the unbearable selfish one…
(But God is merciful and took pity on them. Charles realised that the problem wasn’t Anne, but his own inability to love her in those situations. He decided to expand his heart, even if it hurt, because it was the way to grow in love. He started to work on it with God’s help. Gradually, it bothered him less until it didn’t bother him at all, and he was able to enjoy seeing his wife enjoy herself. This allowed Anne to learn to grow in love and she began to do so in these and other circumstances, and both were able to love each other with their wheat and their weeds.)

Mother,

Change our hearts, Mother, and give us a bigger heart so we can love each other in every situation, until we see God in our spouse. Amen.

Who Wants Anything Else? Reflection for Married Couples. Matthew 13, 18-23

GOSPEL

The man who hears the word and understands it yields a rich harvest
A reading from the holy Gospel according to Matthew 
Mt 13:18-23
Jesus said to his disciples: ‘You are to hear the parable of the sower. When anyone hears the word of the kingdom without understanding, the evil one comes and carries off what was sown in his heart: this is the man who received the seed on the edge of the path. The one who received it on patches of rock is the man who hears the word and welcomes it at once with joy. But he has no root in him, he does not last; let some trial come, or some persecution on account of the word, and he falls away at once. The one who received the seed in thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this world and the lure of riches choke the word and so he produces nothing. And the one who received the seed in rich soil is the man who hears the word and understands it; he is the one who yields a harvest and produces now a hundredfold, now sixty, now thirty.’
The Gospel of the Lord
Who Wants Anything Else?

Although it may be harsh, not everyone understands the Word of the Lord and thus misses out on the kingdom of God here on earth. If they truly understood it, they would not want anything else. Who wants anything else when they discover and know the love of God? It is our mission to bring the Word closer to everyone’s understanding, in a very visual way, grounded in married life, adapted to the maturity of their spiritual ears, and to repeat it and demonstrate it through the testimony of our lives. We must do everything possible to help them understand.

There will, of course, be those who do not want to listen, or who lack patience, or who do not wish to persevere. But despite this, what we sow in the name of the Lord will yield a hundredfold, sixtyfold, or thirtyfold, for the greater glory of God.

Applied to Married Life:

Peter: My problem was that, although the Word of God told me that my wife is the suitable helper He created for me, I thought that must mean something else because I did not see any help in her. All I saw were her flaws. Later, I discovered that the problem was with my perception, and that she was truly a gift from God for me.

Beatrix: I was told that my husband is a precious gift from God to me, and that even the bad in him could be a path for growth as a person and as a couple. I was amazed when they explained this to me, and it seemed wonderful. But then I went back to my daily life and forgot everything. I treated him with disdain for not accepting his faults. I saw him as the bad one. Until one day, I decided I would no longer look at him that way and would try to discover the gift of God in him. By God’s grace, little by little, my heart was purified and my perception changed. We have learned and grown so much together since then.

Peter: Additionally, I was very focused on my business and football. Conversations with my wife seemed like “women’s talk” and I did not pay much attention. Until I realised that she and my relationship with her are the most important things in my life. It is my path to holiness. It is the legacy we will leave to our children. This changed my priorities, and now my marriage comes first, and everything else follows. If she is not well attended to, I do not attend to anything else.

Beatrix: This is how we both began to understand the greatness of our vocation. We discovered how well God had done all things, and we started to learn from each other, to unite against problems, to delve into each other’s hearts. Thus, we began to build a shared intimacy, united with God. We are still discovering the beauty and mysteries of this wonderful sacrament that God has entrusted to us.

Mother,

In His Word, the Lord gives us the keys to life, holiness, and happiness. Our problem is that we do not want to embrace it. Give us a heart like Yours, which always embraces the Word, meditating on it in the heart, from where both good and bad emerge. Thank you, Lord, for sharing your eternal Wisdom with us. Amen.

Spiritual Avalanche. Reflection for Marriages. Matthew 20, 20-28

GOSPEL
‘Can you drink the cup that I am going to drink?’

A reading of the Holy Gospel according to Matthew 

Mt 20:20-28

The mother of the sons of Zebedee came to Jesus with her sons to make a request of him, and bowed low; and he said to her, ‘What is it you want?’ She said to him, ‘Promise that these two sons of mine may sit one at your right hand and the other at your left in your kingdom.’ ‘You do not know what you are asking’ Jesus answered. ‘Can you drink the cup that I am going to drink?’ They replied, ‘We can.’ ‘Very well,’ he said ‘you shall drink my cup, but as for seats at my right hand and my left, these are not mine to grant; they belong to those to whom they have been allotted by my Father.’
  When the other ten heard this they were indignant with the two brothers. But Jesus called them to him and said, ‘You know that among the pagans the rulers lord it over them, and their great men make their authority felt. This is not to happen among you. No; anyone who wants to be great among you must be your servant, and anyone who wants to be first among you must be your slave, just as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.’

The Gospel of the Lord

Spiritual Avalanche

When listening to this Gospel, the first temptation might be: How selfish! One wants to sit on the right and the other on the left of the Lord. But isn’t it natural to want to be close to the Lord? Thankfully, God has provided us with a way to be close to Him in heaven. That way is through humility. If you are willing to humble yourself, simply embrace humiliations with joy, for they bring you closer to His path on earth and to His destination in heaven.
And to be together with the Lord, embrace this path together. Are you willing to drink from His Cup?

Applied to Married Life:

Myriam: Today in prayer, I found a way to get much closer to the Lord very quickly.
Jamie: Oh! That’s great! You’re going to be like Thérèse of Lisieux.
Myriam: Oh, you silly, don’t tease me.
Jamie: No, I’m serious.
Myriam: Sure, sure… Since it’s the humiliations that bring us closer to Him, I thought of recalling all those I’ve received and offering them up, thanking Him for allowing me to endure them for His greater glory.
Jamie: That sounds good. I’m sure I’m responsible for quite a few of those…
Myriam: Yes, but you benefit because once I offer them to the Lord, I can’t recall or mention them again, because they are His now, and no longer mine.
Jamie: Great! A clean slate… Freed from all my dark past, how cool!
Myriam: You’re in a cheeky mood today, aren’t you?
Jamie: Instead of a spiritual path, you’re on a spiritual avalanche.
Myriam: Haha. It seems there’s no way you’re taking me seriously today.
Jamie: Haha. No, seriously now, I think your “spiritual avalanche” is amazing. Can I join you and we offer it together? Today’s special: 2 for 1.

Mother,

You are a testament to someone who became a Servant and is now beside the Lord. Lead us close to you, Mother, through the path of humility. Amen.

Marriage Counsellor. Reflection for Marriages. Matthew 13, 1-9

GOSPEL

A sower went out to sow
A reading of the Gospel according to Matthew
Mt 13:1-9
Jesus left the house and sat by the lakeside, but such large crowds gathered round him that he got into a boat and sat there. The people all stood on the beach, and he told them many things in parables.
  He said, ‘Imagine a sower going out to sow. As he sowed, some seeds fell on the edge of the path, and the birds came and ate them up. Others fell on patches of rock where they found little soil and sprang up straight away, because there was no depth of earth; but as soon as the sun came up they were scorched and, not having any roots, they withered away. Others fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them. Others fell on rich soil and produced their crop, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. Listen, anyone who has ears!’
The Gospel of the Lord

Marriage Counsellor

Today in prayer, the Spirit did not lead us through the usual discernment about how we are receiving the Word. Instead, the Spirit placed us on the shore, among the crowd, gazing at Jesus. Yes, it is Him. The one who loves us enough to give His life, whom we love madly. And there He is, in front of us, speaking to us. Every time He looks at us, we know there is no criticism in His gaze, only Love in His Heart.
We just have to listen and learn because He is the truth. There is no need for critical listening on our part. He is God, He does not need to reference other authors, nothing He says is debatable. We relax and simply listen to Him, our hearts gripped with the wonder of seeing and hearing Him.
It is Him! He is the beloved.

Applied to Married Life:

Maddie: It is Him, I feel His presence among us. It’s so powerful!
David: And to think that others look for their marriage counsellor in books. It’s because they haven’t discovered that the true marriage counsellor is Christ.
Maddie: No one else can teach us to be spouses like He is the Spouse. Through the path of humility, gentleness, mercy, the common priesthood…
David: Every time we listen to His Word and act like Him, our marriage grows because His Love grows in us, and every time we don’t listen, we falter.
Maddie: Glory to the Lord who is within us.
David: Glory to Him.

Mother,

How much we love Your Son. Today we were overwhelmed contemplating Him teaching from the boat. What a precious Son you have!