For Nothing. Reflection for marriages. Lk 11:14-23

From the Gospel according to Luke
Lk 11:14-23

Jesus was driving out a demon that was mute,
and when the demon had gone out,
the mute man spoke and the crowds were amazed.
Some of them said, “By the power of Beelzebul, the prince of demons,
he drives out demons.”
Others, to test him, asked him for a sign from heaven.
But he knew their thoughts and said to them,
“Every kingdom divided against itself will be laid waste
and house will fall against house.
And if Satan is divided against himself,
how will his kingdom stand?
For you say that it is by Beelzebul that I drive out demons.
If I, then, drive out demons by Beelzebul,
by whom do your own people drive them out?
Therefore they will be your judges.
But if it is by the finger of God that I drive out demons,
then the Kingdom of God has come upon you.
When a strong man fully armed guards his palace,
his possessions are safe.
But when one stronger than he attacks and overcomes him,
he takes away the armor on which he relied
and distributes the spoils.
Whoever is not with me is against me,
and whoever does not gather with me scatters.”

 

For Nothing

We feel strong, confident in our own criteria. We build our own safety nets—financial security with some savings and a house, physical well-being with a bit of exercise, health by watching our diet, emotional stability by placing our hopes in weekend plans, vacations, and shopping, sentimental balance with an occasional retreat and some resolutions, and even spiritual security by easing our conscience with Sunday Mass.  

And when we’ve built our little castle, we realize that nothing really works. I don’t feel secure, venting through exercise isn’t enough, my resolutions are useless, and my hopes let me down again and again because vacations turn into one argument after another.  

Then comes the alternative: the transforming union with the Lord and embracing the greatness of my marital vocation. And suddenly, everything falls into place. Peace comes—the longed-for peace, the one the heart won’t rest until it finds. The Lord sweeps away all my self-made defenses, and I surrender to Him with joy, placing myself at His service—whatever He wants, wherever He wants, whenever He wants. And when I don’t… I crash. Then I ask for forgiveness and return to the right path.  

Applied to Married Life:  

Marta: What happened to all that anxiety, that constant distress, all those fears? Our life is exactly the same—we have the same problems as anyone else, the same differences, the same sins in our hearts to fight against… but the rough edges of our life have disappeared.  

Juan: We’ve learned to see life as a gift from God, to see each other as a gift from God, to rely on His mercy… We’ve placed everything in His hands. He is far stronger than all our difficulties and sins. He is King over everything and everyone. And He loves us infinitely. He has brought us complete joy, just as He promised.  

Marta: Blessed be the Lord.  

Juan: Blessed be forever.  

Mother,

Spouses who are not with Jesus Christ are against Him, and if they do not gather with Him the fruits of Love, they scatter their gifts and their entire lives. Let us allow the One who is stronger to enter our lives and take away all those false securities we relied on.  

Through Jesus Christ, Your Son, our Lord. Amen.

Being Extraordinary Even in the Small Things. Reflection for marriages. Mt 5:17-19

From the Gospel according to Matthew
Mt 5:17-19

Jesus said to his disciples:
“Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets.
I have come not to abolish but to fulfill.
Amen, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away,
not the smallest letter or the smallest part of a letter
will pass from the law,
until all things have taken place.
Therefore, whoever breaks one of the least of these commandments
and teaches others to do so
will be called least in the Kingdom of heaven.
But whoever obeys and teaches these commandments
will be called greatest in the Kingdom of heaven.”

Being Extraordinary Even in the Small Things

The law of love must prevail, and there can be no compromises in this. Do I love or do I not love? That is the question in every action, every word, every thought, every desire: *With this, am I loving you or not?*

Applied to Married Life:  

Román: In our last conflict, I was blaming you because you were the one who first asked for a solution to my attitudes that make your daily life difficult. But then I realized that my reaction was defensive, and I ended up making you the cause of all the difficulties you experience. That is not love, so I ask for your forgiveness.  

Carla: I also ask for your forgiveness because, in that moment, I wasn’t seeking your good but my own—at the cost of complaining about you. And that is not love. So, I sincerely ask for your forgiveness as well.  

Román: I forgive you.  

Carla: I forgive you. This is love, isn’t it?  

Román: This is love. Will you give me a kiss? That is love too.

Mother,  

God asks us to love even in the smallest things so that we may be extraordinary. He truly knows what we need. Praise be to Him.

Experience of Love. Reflection for marriages. Lk 1:26-38

From the Gospel according to Luke
Lk 1:26-38

The angel Gabriel was sent from God
to a town of Galilee called Nazareth,
to a virgin betrothed to a man named Joseph,
of the house of David,
and the virgin’s name was Mary.
And coming to her, he said,
“Hail, full of grace! The Lord is with you.”
But she was greatly troubled at what was said
and pondered what sort of greeting this might be.
Then the angel said to her,
“Do not be afraid, Mary,
for you have found favor with God.
Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son,
and you shall name him Jesus.
He will be great and will be called Son of the Most High,
and the Lord God will give him the throne of David his father,
and he will rule over the house of Jacob forever,
and of his Kingdom there will be no end.”
But Mary said to the angel,
“How can this be,
since I have no relations with a man?”
And the angel said to her in reply,
“The Holy Spirit will come upon you,
and the power of the Most High will overshadow you.
Therefore the child to be born
will be called holy, the Son of God.
And behold, Elizabeth, your relative,
has also conceived a son in her old age,
and this is the sixth month for her who was called barren;
for nothing will be impossible for God.”
Mary said, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord.
May it be done to me according to your word.”
Then the angel departed from her.

Experience of Love  

What must Mary’s experience of love with the Holy Spirit, her Spouse, have been like on the day of the Immaculate Conception of the Son of God? The Holy Spirit is also the author of the union between spouses. May we have a pure heart like Mary’s, so we may be docile to the Holy Spirit.

Applied to Married Life:  

Andrés: There are moments when we are very united, but there are still times when we grow distant from each other. It’s a shame, but it’s the reality.
Carmen: Yes, because we haven’t yet given our full “yes” to total self-giving, as the Virgin did from the very beginning.
Andrés: It’s a shame that we don’t allow the Holy Spirit to do His work. He would know exactly what to do between us. Let’s keep striving to surrender our self-love. What do you think?Carmen: It’s worth it, yes.

Mother,

Give us the determination to say “yes” to our self-giving as spouses, slaves of the Handmaid of the Lord. Thank you, Blessed Mother, for your precious “yes.”

Too Earthly? Reflection for marriages. Lk 4:24-30

From the Gospel according to Luke
Lk 4:24-30

Jesus said to the people in the synagogue at Nazareth:
“Amen, I say to you,
no prophet is accepted in his own native place.
Indeed, I tell you, there were many widows in Israel
in the days of Elijah
when the sky was closed for three and a half years
and a severe famine spread over the entire land.
It was to none of these that Elijah was sent,
but only to a widow in Zarephath in the land of Sidon.
Again, there were many lepers in Israel
during the time of Elisha the prophet;
yet not one of them was cleansed, but only Naaman the Syrian.”
When the people in the synagogue heard this,
they were all filled with fury.
They rose up, drove him out of the town,
and led him to the brow of the hill
on which their town had been built,
to hurl him down headlong.
But he passed through the midst of them and went away.


Too Earthly?

They didn’t believe in Jesus because He seemed too “earthly.” It seems that, in order to have faith in the mediation of others, we need them to come from far away or to appear very holy in our eyes. What we see as “normal” seems incapable of being a channel for the supernatural. We struggle to see God in the ordinary.  

But the truth is that my marriage is sacred. The truth is that my spouse is a minister of God’s grace to me. The truth is that my spouse is the suitable help God has placed in my life so that we may reach Him together. But because I see faults and sins in him/her, I fail to recognize this. The consequence? God cannot work miracles if I do not believe in the mediation He has placed before me.  

I must truly believe it, because God seeks to speak to me especially through my spouse.

Applied to Married Life:  

Paco: Lucía, I don’t understand why you don’t want to pray with me. We’ve been told that prayer in marriage is essential.  

Lucía: Paco, I see you praying a lot, but then your life isn’t consistent with all that you pray. Honestly, I’m a little tired of so much hypocrisy. I don’t see that your prayer is making any difference, and to be honest, I’m starting to dislike your overly spiritualized and detached way of living.  

Paco: Sorry, but you’re not any better than me. You have a strong character, little patience, you’re tense, and always on edge…  

(Paco prays, and the Lord speaks to him: “Paco, why do you resist the message I want to give you through your wife? It’s true that you pray a lot, but you put little effort into making her happy. Treat her as if she were Me, because the way you treat her is the way you treat Me.” Paco heard the Lord’s voice through Lucía.)  

Paco: Lucía, sit here with me. I can see you’re uneasy, that you’re not comfortable with me. I’d like to understand why and how I can help.  

Lucía: Paco, I feel alone, confused… (*And she continues explaining…*)  

Paco: I understand, Lucía. You feel like I demand too much from you, that I expect perfection, but what you really need is to feel loved as you are. You need to be at ease with me, without worrying about whether I’m judging you… I’m sorry, Lucía. I want you to know that I love you as you are, including your shortcomings. I love you just as you are, and I will show you.  

Lucía: Now I do feel strong enough to try praying with you. Will you help me?

Mother,

Queen of the Family, pray for us.  

Mother of Conjugal Love, pray for us.  

A Few Adjustments. Reflection for marriages. Saint Luke 13:1–9

Gospel of the Day

A reading from the Holy Gospel according to Saint Luke 13:1–9
At that time, some people came and told Jesus about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mingled with that of their sacrifices.
Jesus said to them:
“Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans because they suffered this way? I tell you, no; but unless you repent, you will all perish in the same way.
Or those eighteen who were killed when the tower in Siloam fell on them—do you think they were more guilty than all the others living in Jerusalem? I tell you, no; but unless you repent, you will all perish in the same way.”
Then He told them this parable:
“A man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard, and he came looking for fruit on it but found none. He said to the vine-dresser, ‘Look, for three years now I have come seeking fruit on this fig tree and find none. Cut it down! Why should it use up the soil?’
But the vine-dresser replied, ‘Sir, leave it alone this year also, until I dig around it and fertilise it. Perhaps it will bear fruit next year. If not, you can cut it down.’”

A Few Adjustments

Lord, You are the vine-dresser—digging around and spreading manure around our marriage so that it may bear abundant fruit.
Here we are, complaining when things hurt or smell unpleasant between us. But that’s because we don’t understand how to make the most of the “manure” of difficult situations for a greater good.
Lord, help us embrace the trials You permit around us as a way to bear fruit.

Applying It to Married Life

Shopkeeper: Good morning! What can I do for you?
Vine-dresser: I came for some sacks of manure.
Shopkeeper: Of course! Which types would you like?
Vine-dresser: I’ll take two of “harsh replies,” one of “indifference,” three of “constant contradiction,” and one of “undermining in front of the children.”
Shopkeeper: Got it. We have the full winter collection of Marital Manure. Oh! “Unjust accusations” is on offer—two for the price of one.
Vine-dresser: Perfect. I’ll take two, then. I’ve got some vines that’ll benefit—a real infestation of pride this year. How much do I owe?
Shopkeeper: That’ll be 5 litres of tears, 10 hours of tough moments, and 50 minutes of despair.
Vine-dresser: Oof! You charge a lot for this stuff.
Shopkeeper: Well… there’s a high demand, you see. So we raise the prices while we can. I’ve got a big family to feed, you know?
Vine-dresser: Fair enough. But just so you know—I’ll be stopping by your marriage next… looks like it could use a few adjustments.

Mother,

Praised be the Vine-dresser, who knows just what we need to grow in love and bear fruits of conjugal charity.