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We don’t deserve it. Reflection for married couples

GOSPEL

Give the word, and my servant will be healed

A reading from the holy Gospel according to Luke

Luke 7:1-10

When Jesus had come to the end of all he wanted the people to hear, he went into Capernaum. A centurion there had a servant, a favourite of his, who was sick and near death. Having heard about Jesus he sent some Jewish elders to him to ask him to come and heal his servant. When they came to Jesus they pleaded earnestly with him. ‘He deserves this of you’ they said ‘because he is friendly towards our people; in fact, he is the one who built the synagogue.’ So Jesus went with them, and was not very far from the house when the centurion sent word to him by some friends: ‘Sir,’ he said ‘do not put yourself to trouble; because I am not worthy to have you under my roof; and for this same reason I did not presume to come to you myself; but give the word and let my servant be cured. For I am under authority myself, and have soldiers under me; and I say to one man: Go, and he goes; to another: Come here, and he comes; to my servant: Do this, and he does it.’ When Jesus heard these words he was astonished at him and, turning round, said to the crowd following him, ‘I tell you, not even in Israel have I found faith like this.’ And when the messengers got back to the house they found the servant in perfect health.

The Gospel of the Lord.

 

We Don’t Deserve It

A man whom everyone considered worthy of the Lord’s favour, due to his generosity and service to God’s people, did not see himself as deserving of such blessings. His humility led him to have an extraordinary faith. Some people demand that God answers their prayers, but walking in truth means not seeing ourselves as deserving or worthy of the Lord’s favours, no matter how many good deeds we think we do.

Applied to Married Life:

Oliver: I’m still struggling with my pride because as soon as I feel slighted by you, I react against you.

Lucy: I don’t understand. With everything we do in service to the Lord, why do we keep falling? Why does it feel like we’re not making progress?
Oliver: Well, I think our problem is a lack of humility, and we will grow in humility if we accept that we don’t deserve for God to rescue us from our faults. So, perhaps continuing to stumble is a lesson in humility for us.
Lucy: You might be right. Maybe what the Lord wants from us is to accept our fragility.
Oliver: Exactly. We give thanks because He hasn’t forgotten us.

Mother,

The Lord has already given us so much, too much to ask for more. He will lift us from our failings when He wills and how He wills. We trust in Him and His mercy. Praise be to Him forever.

Identity at Stake. Reflection for married couples. Mark 8, 27-35

GOSPEL
The Son of Man is destined to suffer grievously
A reading from the holy Gospel according to Mark

Mark 8:27-35

Jesus and his disciples left for the villages round Caesarea Philippi. On the way he put this question to his disciples, ‘Who do people say I am?’ And they told him. ‘John the Baptist,’ they said ‘others Elijah; others again, one of the prophets.’ ‘But you,’ he asked ‘who do you say I am?’ Peter spoke up and said to him, ‘You are the Christ.’ And he gave them strict orders not to tell anyone about him.
  And he began to teach them that the Son of Man was destined to suffer grievously, to be rejected by the elders and the chief priests and the scribes, and to be put to death, and after three days to rise again; and he said all this quite openly. Then, taking him aside, Peter started to remonstrate with him. But, turning and seeing his disciples, he rebuked Peter and said to him, ‘Get behind me, Satan! Because the way you think is not God’s way but man’s.’
  He called the people and his disciples to him and said, ‘If anyone wants to be a follower of mine, let him renounce himself and take up his cross and follow me. For anyone who wants to save his life will lose it; but anyone who loses his life for my sake, and for the sake of the gospel, will save it.’
The Gospel of the Lord.
Identity at Stake
Jesus clearly identifies with His mission: He is the Messiah, and that is how He presents Himself. I am a husband. Do I identify with my mission? When people see me, is it clear that I am, above all, a husband? And my spouse—do they recognise me primarily as their partner? Or do I stand out for other things? Because if so, I might be losing my identity.
A Christian husband is defined by loving through the cross, like Christ. Thinking of any other way to love is to embrace the lies of Satan. As spouses, let’s flee from evil and not think as men do; let’s think big, as God does.

Applied to Married Life:

Lisa: I see that Jesus is very clear about His mission to redeem the world through suffering. He knows what He is here for. Sometimes I forget that my mission with you is to collaborate with Christ in redeeming you, also by offering my own suffering.
David: Yes, the Lord gives us a great mission, which is to share in His, but I often think like men, not like God. He took my sins upon His shoulders. No one has ever looked at me like that in my brokenness. He fell in love with me in my weakness. He rescued my soul from death. I feel so loved. What hurts me the most is that I’m not responding by loving you the way I should.
Lisa: But we want to respond. Tomorrow we will do better with His help. Are you willing to give your life?
David: I’m willing. Are you?
Lisa: I’m willing.
David: Praise be to the Lord.
Mary,
I am in awe of your mad love—so incomprehensible to men, but irresistible to those You choose. Thank you, Mother!

It Costs an Arm and a Leg. Reflection for married couples. John 3,13-17

GOSPEL

God sent his Son so that through him the world might be saved

A reading from the holy Gospel according to John

John 3:13-17
Jesus said to Nicodemus:
‘No one has gone up to heaven
except the one who came down from heaven,
the Son of Man who is in heaven;
and the Son of Man must be lifted up
as Moses lifted up the serpent in the desert,
so that everyone who believes may have eternal life in him.
Yes, God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son,
so that everyone who believes in him may not be lost
but may have eternal life.
For God sent his Son into the world
not to condemn the world,
but so that through him the world might be saved.’
The Gospel of the Lord.
It Costs an Arm and a Leg
Today we celebrate the Exaltation of the Cross. When man was created, according to the symbolic language of Genesis, the tree of life was placed at the centre of the garden. This means that man had access to eternal life. But when man turned his back on God, he lost access to life, because God, above all, is the giver of life.
God restored access to eternal life for mankind through the Cross of Christ. In other words, our path to eternal life now passes through Christ’s cross.
Don’t want to unite with Christ on the cross? Then you will not have life. Choose to do so, and you will generate life, and it will be abundant.

Applied to Married Life:

John: I used to struggle so much with accepting the crosses that came my way, until I realised they were the path through which I received life and could also give life.
Theresa: It was the same for me. The next step was to ask the Lord to allow me to stay with Him on the cross. And the final step is to actually desire the cross for the greater glory of God.
John: It’s true that when we desire the cross, it becomes much lighter because we’re no longer dragging it. It is the Lord who carries it within us.
Theresa: And the life that is generated through the cross…
John: It’s incredible! We’ve witnessed so many miracles. The other day, someone asked us, “How can you desire the cross?” And I replied, “Would you want to lose a kidney?” He said, “Of course not.” Then I asked, “But if your child needed that kidney, would you give it to them?” That’s when he understood. When there is love, and you know that through the cross you give life because you are collaborating with Christ in the salvation of many, and He is eager to pour out His love through us, then out of love, you desire the cross.
Theresa: I love that. It’s such a vivid example. Thank you—it’s really helped me understand it better in my own life.
Mother,
Praise be to God for giving us Your Son on the Cross. Thank You for offering Him, too.

Judgement Blinds Us. Reflection for married couples. Luke 6, 39-42

GOSPEL

Can the blind lead the blind?

A reading from the holy Gospel according to Luke

Luke 6:39-42

Jesus told a parable to the disciples: ‘Can one blind man guide another? Surely both will fall into a pit? The disciple is not superior to his teacher; the fully trained disciple will always be like his teacher. Why do you observe the splinter in your brother’s eye and never notice the plank in your own? How can you say to your brother, “Brother, let me take out the splinter that is in your eye,” when you cannot see the plank in your own? Hypocrite! Take the plank out of your own eye first, and then you will see clearly enough to take out the splinter that is in your brother’s eye.’

The Gospel of the Lord.

 

Judgement Blinds Us

Judging others blinds us, and of course, a blind person cannot lead another blind person. Therefore, the one who judges is not in a position to correct or offer advice to another.
Do I feel resentment, pain, or hurt towards my spouse for something they’ve done? If so, then I cannot correct them, because I am blind.

Applied to Married Life:

Anthony: Lord, my wife just contradicted me in public, making me feel humiliated. I’m hurt by her actions, so I know I can’t say anything to her because right now, there is no love in my heart.

I need to purify my outlook—that’s what I must do. Forgive me, Lord, for judging Your beloved daughter. She is wonderful, and I’m sure she didn’t realise what she was doing. I offer You my hurt, and I will no longer use it against her. Please don’t hold her sin against her, if there was one.
Thank You, Lord, for all that You give me through her. Thank You, Lord, for allowing me to resemble You in this painful offering for my wife. Though my offering is not pure, I offer it to You, Mother, so You can purify it and present it to the Father on behalf of my beloved wife.


Mother,

Mediatrix of all graces, grant us the humility to always act with pure intentions towards one another. Through Jesus Christ, Our Lord. Amen

Overflowing Love. Reflection for married couples. Luke 6, 27-38

GOSPEL

Love your enemies
A reading from the holy Gospel according to Luke
Luke 6:27-38

Jesus said to his disciples: ‘I say this to you who are listening: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who treat you badly. To the man who slaps you on one cheek, present the other cheek too; to the man who takes your cloak from you, do not refuse your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and do not ask for your property back from the man who robs you. Treat others as you would like them to treat you. If you love those who love you, what thanks can you expect? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what thanks can you expect? For even sinners do that much. And if you lend to those from whom you hope to receive, what thanks can you expect? Even sinners lend to sinners to get back the same amount. Instead, love your enemies and do good, and lend without any hope of return. You will have a great reward, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he himself is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked.
  ‘Be compassionate as your Father is compassionate. Do not judge, and you will not be judged yourselves; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned yourselves; grant pardon, and you will be pardoned. Give, and there will be gifts for you: a full measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over, will be poured into your lap; because the amount you measure out is the amount you will be given back.’

The Gospel of the Lord.

Overflowing Love
This way of loving is incredibly difficult—almost impossible, I’d say. To respond with love when someone robs me, takes advantage of me, speaks ill of me, or even hates me, seems impossible. The real challenge comes when Jesus says that if I don’t love in these moments, then I’m not truly loving. Quite a tough call! So, as the disciples once asked, “Who then can be saved?”
Acting with mercy like our Heavenly Father can only be done with His grace. But He promises to give us that grace, since He asks us to be merciful. How do we do this? The merciful person does not focus on the harm done to them, nor do they focus on the flaws of the other. They don’t look down on others. Instead, they see the value in the other person and focus on that, restoring their dignity. If we stop focusing on the negative in our spouse and instead recognise their worth to God—that God wants to extend a hand to them, like the father of the Prodigal Son—then we are acting as the Lord asks us Christians to do.
That’s when the Lord will pour out a generous, overflowing measure of love into our marriage. That’s when we will truly discover the wonder of living marital charity.

Applied to Married Life:


Laura: I’m really surprised. For the past few weeks, you’ve had this enviable peace. I criticise you, and you don’t lash out. I make demands, and you don’t complain. I overspend, and you don’t say a word. Instead, you’re more concerned for me than ever, paying more attention to me and being more helpful… I’m baffled. What are you doing to achieve this?
James: For a long time, I’ve been judging and condemning you. That’s why you felt the backlash for your mistakes and irritability. But I’ve learned that this is not love, and I want to love you genuinely. I had no peace within me because I wasn’t living as I was created to live—to be a guardian of true love, as Saint John Paul II says. So, now I don’t look at whether you love me or hate me. Whenever I feel that temptation, I turn to the Lord, and I remember how much He has loved me. Then I respond by loving you, as He asks me to.
Laura: Wow, that’s incredible. I can really feel the difference. I want to try too. Will you help me?
James: Of course. We’ll help each other.
(The growth in their marriage was beyond words.)

Mother,


It is hard to stop focusing on the hurt caused by my spouse, but it is even harder to repair the damage caused by not loving each other. Praise be to the Lord, who has loved us so much that He deserves nothing less than our love and unity. Amen.