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Connatural. Reflections for married couples. Matthew 8: 1-4

Gospel of the Day

From the Gospel according to Matthew 8:1-4

When Jesus came down from the mountain, great crowds followed him.
And then a leper approached, did him homage, and said,
“Lord, if you wish, you can make me clean.”
He stretched out his hand, touched him, and said,
“I will do it. Be made clean.”
His leprosy was cleansed immediately.
Then Jesus said to him, “See that you tell no one,
but go show yourself to the priest,
and offer the gift that Moses prescribed;
that will be proof for them.

The Gospel of the Lord

Connatural.

Let’s talk about faith. Nowadays, it seems one must do something extraordinary to achieve faith. But that’s not the case. Faith is connatural to man because it is a gift from God and is inscribed in the human heart. If not for ideological influences and psychological manipulation, we would all seek divinity, as all human tribes and castes have done throughout history. Unwittingly, we tend to believe in the supernatural action of God. Some through alternative medicine or esotericism… substituting the true God.
Let us strip away those external influences from the couples around us so they can open themselves to the gift of faith.

Brought Down to Married Life:

She knelt before the Lord. For years, she had seen her husband as the villain. She had compelling reasons. But why was a relationship with God possible for her husband, yet she was unable to maintain it? It was her pride, which came from within and prevented her from seeing that she was as guilty or more than he was, and she was looking at him with a sinful and destructive gaze.
He knelt beside his wife before the Lord. He, too, had spent years rejecting his wife’s corrections with enormous pride. He was fed up with her. But that day, he asked himself: Why doesn’t God get fed up with her but loves her infinitely? There was something in him that wasn’t in God. And so he discovered his pride, which prevented him from seeing that he was also responsible for the lack of purification in their union, as God had entrusted to him. He had a tainted view of her that prevented him from considering her a gift and giving himself to her.
Both, with their hearts broken into pieces, knelt before the Lord, begging Him to change their hearts of stone into hearts of flesh.
And God took pity on them, forgave them, and placed many means of purification along their path: differences of opinion, unjust judgments of one another, offenses… but this time, they did not experience these as if the other were a pariah but received them as a path God was laying out for them to overcome their pride. This time, they constantly asked for forgiveness and accepted each other’s humiliations as a gift.
That marriage was built up, healed, and today, thanks to God, they are one. They are a tender heart, pleasing to God.

Mother,

Praise be to the Lord for the miracles He is working in so many marriages around us. It is wonderful to see how He purifies hearts, transforms lives, and fills homes with joy. As we draw near to Him and persevere with that “if you are willing, you can make me clean,” He rebuilds, heals, unites… Glory to God.

Christ is the Rock. Reflection for married couples. Matthew 7:21-29

Gospel of the Day

Gospel according to Matthew 7:2129

At that time: Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Not everyone who says to me, “Lord, Lord”, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, “Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?” And then will I declare to them, “I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.”
  ‘Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.’
  And when Jesus finished these sayings, the crowds were astonished at his teaching, for he was teaching them as one who had authority, and not as their scribes.
The Gospel of the Lord
Christ is the Rock

Jesus does not say that the rain, the winds, or the storms will not come. He takes it for granted that they will come. In every marriage there are moments of exhaustion, disagreements, financial worries, difficulties with children, or illness. The difference is not in avoiding the storms, but in the foundation on which the marriage is built. Building on rock means relying on Jesus, on the grace of our sacrament, and on the firm decision to love and to give oneself to one’s spouse. Lord, may You never have to tell us that You do not know us, or that we have drifted away from You.

Brought down to Married Life:

Esther: I don’t know if we can keep going like this. It feels like everything is hitting us at once.
James: I’m exhausted too. Between work, bills, and your father’s worries, I feel like we barely have any patience left.
Esther: Do you remember when we got married? We thought the hard part would be finding time for us… I never imagined all this.
James: Maybe the problem is that we expect the difficulties to disappear one day. And every time a new one comes, it feels like everything is falling apart again.
Esther: Maybe it’s not about the problems going away, but about remembering why we are here. I don’t want to stop choosing love when things get hard.
James: Neither do I want to stop building, even if I sometimes have to learn how to do it all over again.

That night, in their prayer as a couple, their worries did not disappear, but they rediscovered the certainty that as long as they remained united to the Lord and renewed each day their decision to love one another, there would be a grace capable of sustaining them even in the most difficult moments.

Mother,

You who listened to the words of your Son and put them into practice, help us to build a holy marriage for the glory of God. Blessed be your purity!

Listening to You, Lord. Reflection for married couples. Luke 1:5-17

Gospel of the Day

Gospel according to Luke 1:517

 

In the days of Herod, king of Judea, there was a priest named Zechariah, of the division of Abijah. And he had a wife from the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elizabeth. And they were both righteous before God, walking blamelessly in all the commandments and statutes of the Lord. But they had no child, because Elizabeth was barren, and both were advanced in years.
  Now while he was serving as priest before God when his division was on duty, according to the custom of the priesthood, he was chosen by lot to enter the Temple of the Lord and burn incense. And the whole multitude of the people was praying outside at the hour of incense. And there appeared to him an angel of the Lord standing on the right side of the altar of incense. And Zechariah was troubled when he saw him, and fear fell upon him. But the angel said to him, ‘Do not be afraid, Zechariah, for your prayer has been heard, and your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you shall call his name John. And you will have joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth, for he will be great before the Lord. And he must not drink wine or strong drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit, even from his mother’s womb. And he will turn many of the children of Israel to the Lord their God, and he will go before him in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just, to make ready for the Lord a people prepared.’
The Gospel of the Lord

Listening to You, Lord

My dear Jesus, thank you so much for your cousin, your forerunner, of whom you said, “Among those born of women there has not risen anyone greater than John the Baptist.” How much light we receive when we prayerfully reflect on the lives of the saints!

John said that he must decrease so that you might increase. If we do not become smaller each day, recognising that we are nothing without you, dying to our disordered self, to our self-love, then you cannot grow within our hearts and dwell there.

John went into the desert in search of silence. It is only in silence that we can hear you, Lord. We need to listen to you in order to know you and to know ourselves.

John called people to repentance. I need to acknowledge my sin and my weakness so that you can accomplish your work within me.

John lived a life of self-denial. Mortification is necessary to purify my heart and free me from my attachments, so that the spirit may guide my life rather than the desires of the flesh.

And John understood the indissolubility of marriage. He valued it so deeply that he gave his life defending it, even daring to challenge the king for living with a woman who was not his wife.

Saint John, pray for us. Thank you, Lord.

Brought down to Married Life

Esther: John, would you like another beer?

John: No thanks, one is enough.

Esther: That’s unusual! What’s brought that on?

John: One is plenty, thank you. I used to think all this talk about mortification was a bit silly and unimportant. But I’m beginning to realise that if I don’t free myself from these small attachments, even the ones I used to justify, then the bigger battles become much harder to win. These little sacrifices, made out of love for the Lord, help me keep my heart attentive and more aware of his presence.

Esther: Ah, now I understand! I’ve noticed lately that you don’t react to things that used to get on your nerves, and I couldn’t work out why. How wonderful the Lord is!

John: He really is. He gives me so much light in prayer. In the silence I’m discovering his infinite love. I want to love as he loves. And I’ve realised that I need to keep purifying my heart through small acts of sacrifice, uncovering and letting go of attachments so that he can truly reign within me. And you have no idea what peace I have, what joy! It’s infinitely better than that extra beer!

Esther: You’re so sweet! Please help me to persevere as well.

Mother,

Please teach me always to listen to your Son and to follow the guidance of my guardian angel. Help me to deny myself, embrace the cross of each day, and follow him. Blessed and praised be God!

The Narrow Gate. Reflection for married couples. Matthew 7:6, 12-14

Gospel of the Day

Gospel according to Matthew 7:6, 1214

At that time: Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.
  ‘So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.
  ‘Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.’
The Gospel of the Lord
The Narrow Gate
Do we seek the Lord in our daily lives? We might say yes… and do we want to be good? Of course, we do not deny it and we agree. But when the Lord begins to ask more of us, we are no longer so sure we want to follow Him…
It sounds very beautiful to be Christian and to love our neighbour as ourselves, but if I have to love my spouse above my pride, then I think twice, because loving Christ is easy, but being like Christ is not. Saying that I am willing to give my life for others sounds very good, but when I actually have to give it in my marriage, it is not easy. Jesus sweat blood in Gethsemane because He saw the pain and suffering caused by our sins, and at times He asks us to help Him carry the weight of our spouse’s sins as a means of sanctification.
The path that leads to eternal life passes through the Cross. It is narrow and demanding, but it is beautiful because we do not walk it alone. At every moment we go hand in hand with the Lord, without forgetting the ultimate goal, the glory of the Resurrection.

Brought down to Married Life:
Anna, in spiritual direction, opens her heart to her priest.
Anna: Father, I cannot go on with John, I am at my limit. I have been praying for him for years and there is no change. He is like a stone wall. I think all my efforts are useless. The Lord does not hear me. So many prayers, and nothing has changed.
Father: Come on, Anna, do not give up. That is exactly what the devil wants, for you to abandon hope. I suggest something… why do you not continue praying, but this time with a different attitude?
Anna: Father, what do you mean by changing my attitude?
Father: What have you been asking the Lord for, to change John? What I mean is that you ask the Lord to give you a heart like His, a heart that is understanding, merciful, a heart that knows how to love at all times, that is not impatient, a heart that does not focus on all of John’s faults, but rather on all that he does well…
Anna: Father, I have spent so many years asking the Lord to change John that what you are asking now feels like a huge change. I find it very difficult.
Father: Anna, being Christian does not mean changing others, but following Christ, and above all becoming another Christ. We must resemble Christ in the way we are and in the way we act. If we go to Mass and nothing changes in how we live afterwards, what is the point? We must be docile so that the Lord can transform our interior. Reflect on this and ask the Holy Spirit to give you light so you can see whether you have truly allowed Him to transform you.
Anna: Thank you, Father. I had never seen it that way. I realise I still have much to change, my judgments, my criteria. So I will ask the Lord for help, but first, if you do not mind, let us begin with a good confession.

Mother,

Show us the path that leads to the narrow gate and guide us through self-giving as you did. Blessed and praised be the Lord.

Perseverance. Reflection for married couples. Matthew 24:4-13

Gospel of the Day

Gospel according to Matthew 24:4-13

At that time: Jesus said to his disciples, ‘See that no one leads you astray. For many will come in my name, saying, “I am the Christ”, and they will lead many astray. And you will hear of wars and rumours of wars. See that you are not alarmed, for this must take place, but the end is not yet. For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and there will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are but the beginning of the birth pains.
  ‘Then they will deliver you up to tribulation and put you to death, and you will be hated by all nations for my name’s sake. And then many will fall away and betray one another and hate one another. And many false prophets will arise and lead many astray. And because lawlessness will be increased, the love of many will grow cold. But the one who endures to the end will be saved.’
The Gospel of the Lord
Perseverance

Today the Lord tells us not to be troubled when we are criticised or opposed because of Him. He has a plan for each one of us, and when the time comes to bear witness, He will give us the wisdom and the words we need. But there is no glory without the Cross. We must pass through accusation, persecution, wars, and disasters, yet all of this forms part of His plan.

Within our families and our marriages, we too will face trials. There may even be moments when everything seems lost. Yet He asks us to persevere, reminding us that even the hairs on our heads are numbered. Everything serves a purpose: that we may bear witness. Witness to what? To His infinite mercy and His love for us. He knows the human heart. He knows that we are small, weak, and sinful, and that we will both betray and be betrayed.

Spouses, when trials come, persevere in prayer. He will give you strength. He will provide what you need. Then you will be able to testify to all that He has done in your lives. God alone is enough.

Brought Down to Married Life

Paul: Phoebe, we’re going to my parents’ house this weekend. Mum hasn’t been feeling very well, and I’m sure she’d love to see the children. What do you think?

Phoebe: Paul, honestly, I really don’t feel like it. I always feel judged by your parents. It seems they’re constantly waiting for me to put a foot wrong.

Paul: I understand, Phoebe, but they’re getting older and they need affection.

Phoebe: Maybe so, but your mother never seems to appreciate anything I do. I genuinely try my best and do everything with love, yet she always finds something to criticise.

Paul: Why don’t we take it to prayer at the parish?

Phoebe: Well, I just hope they don’t see us going into church, because last time the comment was: “Lots of Mass, lots of God, but the children are neglected.”

Paul: I know. We need a lot of prayer so that the Holy Spirit gives us the right words and helps them see the beauty of the faith we are living.

Phoebe: Yes, let’s ask the Holy Spirit to show us what to say and how to act, so that they may see God’s love in our lives.

Oh, and forgive me. I know it hurts you when I speak about your parents like this. I didn’t want to cause you any more pain.

Paul: You’re forgiven, my dear wife. I caught you off guard, and I should have been more considerate. Let’s make our couple prayer and place everything at the Lord’s feet. You’ll see that He will bring good out of it all.

Mother,

Help us to love those who do not love us and who do not love your Son, just as you love all of us as your children. Thank you, Mother. Blessed be God!