At that time: A certain man was ill, Lazarus of Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. It was Mary, who anointed the Lord with ointment and wiped his feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was ill. So the sisters sent to him, saying, ‘Lord, he whom you love is ill.’ But when Jesus heard it he said, ‘This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.’
  Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So, when he heard that Lazarus was ill, he stayed two days longer in the place where he was. Then after this he said to the disciples, ‘Let us go to Judea again.’ The disciples said to him, ‘Rabbi, the Jews were just now seeking to stone you, and are you going there again?’ Jesus answered, ‘Are there not twelve hours in the day? If anyone walks in the day, he does not stumble, because he sees the light of this world. But if anyone walks in the night, he stumbles, because the light is not in him.’ After saying these things, he said to them, ‘Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but I go to awaken him.’ The disciples said to him, ‘Lord, if he has fallen asleep, he will recover.’ Now Jesus had spoken of his death, but they thought that he meant taking rest in sleep. Then Jesus told them plainly, ‘Lazarus has died, and for your sake I am glad that I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.’ So Thomas, called the Twin, said to his fellow disciples, ‘Let us also go, that we may die with him.’
  Now when Jesus came, he found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb four days. Bethany was near Jerusalem, about two miles off, and many of the Jews had come to Martha and Mary to console them concerning their brother. So when Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went and met him, but Mary remained seated in the house. Martha said to Jesus, ‘Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that whatever you ask from God, God will give you.’ Jesus said to her, ‘Your brother will rise again.’ Martha said to him, ‘I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day.’ Jesus said to her, ‘I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?’ She said to him, ‘Yes, Lord; I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who is coming into the world.’
  When she had said this, she went and called her sister Mary, saying in private, ‘The Teacher is here and is calling for you.’ And when she heard it, she rose quickly and went to him. Now Jesus had not yet come into the village, but was still in the place where Martha had met him. When the Jews who were with her in the house, consoling her, saw Mary rise quickly and go out, they followed her, supposing that she was going to the tomb to weep there. Now when Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet, saying to him, ‘Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.’ When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. And he said, ‘Where have you laid him?’ They said to him, ‘Lord, come and see.’ Jesus wept. So the Jews said, ‘See how he loved him!’ But some of them said, ‘Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man also have kept this man from dying?’
  Then Jesus, deeply moved again, came to the tomb. It was a cave, and a stone lay against it. Jesus said, ‘Take away the stone.’ Martha, the sister of the dead man, said to him, ‘Lord, by this time there will be a smell, for he has been dead four days.’ Jesus said to her, ‘Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?’ So they took away the stone. And Jesus lifted up his eyes and said, ‘Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this on account of the people standing around, that they may believe that you sent me.’ When he had said these things, he cried out with a loud voice, ‘Lazarus, come out.’ The man who had died came out, his hands and feet bound with linen strips, and his face wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, ‘Unbind him, and let him go.’
  Many of the Jews therefore, who had come with Mary and had seen what he did, believed in him.

Just as Jesus loved Lazarus, so He loves each one of us—personally, individually. And just as He wept for His friend Lazarus, He also weeps for us. Not because our bodies have died, but because our souls do.
He is Life itself. And every time, within our marriage, we forget Him and try to do things on our own—imposing ourselves on our spouse, forgetting that without Him we can do nothing—we begin to die. Every time we fail to recognise our poverty, our sin, we move further from life. Because He is the Life—the only life truly worth living: through Him, with Him and in Him.
As we continue through Lent, we are encouraged to rekindle our hearts and our intimacy—with Him and with one another—so that when Easter comes, we too may rise again, like Lazarus.

Applied to Married Life

Rachel: Daniel, during prayer today, the Lord showed me that we’re not really living Lent well—we’ve become a bit complacent.
Daniel: Well, not entirely… although it’s true that we always start Lent with lots of resolutions, and then they slowly fade away.
Rachel: That’s exactly what I mean. I think we’ve just drifted along, treating it like any other Lent. We’ve tried to rely on our own strength—and it hasn’t worked.
Daniel: You’re right, Rachel—we haven’t really counted on Him. But it’s not too late to start again. I suggest we begin with a good confession, to prepare our hearts for Easter.
Rachel: Yes, we need to ask for forgiveness. And maybe we could also make a small sacrifice—perhaps help at a retreat, and take time for Adoration as well. We really need those quiet moments with the Lord.
Daniel: Agreed. And finally, let’s make a real effort to live Holy Week accompanying the Lord.
Rachel: Yes—but first, we need to ask for His help, so that with His grace, and our effort, this can truly become a beautiful time.
Daniel: Right then—let’s begin. First, prayer—together, united in the Lord.

Mother,

help us to recognise our smallness, so that, in humility, we may ask the Lord to call us
and raise us from the sin that leads us to death. Praised be the Lord!

At that time: When the crowd heard these words of Jesus some of the people said, ‘This really is the Prophet.’ Others said, ‘This is the Christ.’ But some said, ‘Is the Christ to come from Galilee? Has not the Scripture said that the Christ comes from the offspring of David, and comes from Bethlehem, the village where David was?’ So there was a division among the people over him. Some of them wanted to arrest him, but no one laid hands on him.
  The officers then came to the chief priests and Pharisees, who said to them, ‘Why did you not bring him?’ The officers answered, ‘No one ever spoke like this man!’ The Pharisees answered them, ‘Have you also been deceived? Have any of the authorities or the Pharisees believed in him? But this crowd that does not know the law is accursed.’ Nicodemus, who had gone to him before, and who was one of them, said to them, ‘Does our law judge a man without first giving him a hearing and learning what he does?’ They replied, ‘Are you from Galilee too? Search and see that no prophet arises from Galilee.’

In this passage from the Gospel of John, we see how the conflict surrounding Jesus continues to grow. It is no longer just a discussion, but the beginning of a rejection that will gradually harden hearts until it leads to His Crucifixion. And this does not happen all at once, but little by little: doubt, prejudice and pride slowly close the heart to the truth.
The people become divided: some believe, others doubt, and others judge based on preconceived ideas. The division does not come from Jesus, but from the way people choose to look at Him.
Something very similar happens in marriage. Doubts gradually distance us as spouses because they distort our way of seeing. When I allow suspicion to enter, I no longer look at my spouse with gratitude, but with judgement; I no longer listen with openness, but with defensiveness. I begin to interpret everything through my fears rather than through the truth of the other.
In this way, almost without noticing, a distance is created that breaks communion between spouses. And it does not break suddenly—it happens slowly, when doubt replaces trust and suspicion overcomes the gift we have received.
In the midst of this conflict, Nicodemus appears and teaches us something essential: before judging, we must listen; before assuming, we must welcome. It is a direct invitation for spouses not to close their hearts without first seeking the truth in the heart of the other.
When we return to seeing our spouse as a gift—as the place where God comes to meet us—doubt loses its strength, and the heart regains the joy of loving in truth.

Applied to Married Life

Lucy: John, I can see you’ve spent £400 today…
John: Lucy, I’ll explain later—I’m running late for a meeting.
Lucy: “Later I’ll explain”? John, what I’m seeing is that lately you’re making important decisions without including me.
John: Lucy, it’s not like that, honestly. I’ll explain everything properly later—it was something necessary.
Lucy: I think I know what your “necessities” are… Was it really necessary, or just impulsive?
(An uncomfortable silence follows.)
Alright… I think I’m letting suspicion take over, and I don’t want to judge without listening. Love, can you tell me what happened?
John: Lucy, something went wrong with the car this morning and it had to be fixed today. I did think of telling you, but I was in such a rush that I planned to explain it properly later.
Lucy: John, thank you for telling me… and forgive me for letting doubt and suspicion get the better of me.
John: Love, it’s alright. Next time, I’ll make the effort to tell you beforehand.

Mother,

help us to trust as you do, and to listen with open hearts, always with your tenderness. Blessed and praised be the Lord, for ever.

At that time: Jesus went about in Galilee. He would not go about in Judea, because the Jews were seeking to kill him.
  Now the Jews’ Feast of Booths was at hand. After his brothers and sisters had gone up to the feast, then he also went up, not publicly but in private.
  Some of the people of Jerusalem therefore said, ‘Is not this the man whom they seek to kill? And here he is, speaking openly, and they say nothing to him! Can it be that the authorities really know that this is the Christ? But we know where this man comes from, and when the Christ appears, no one will know where he comes from.’ So Jesus proclaimed, as he taught in the Temple, ‘You know me, and you know where I come from. But I have not come of my own accord. He who sent me is true, and him you do not know. I know him, for I come from him, and he sent me.’ So they were seeking to arrest him, but no one laid a hand on him, because his hour had not yet come.

The Gospel of the Lord

Jesus says that He has been sent by the One who is True, and that in order for us to know Him who is the Truth, we must come through Him: “No one comes to the Father except through Me.”
For this reason, the time we dedicate to prayer—both personal and as a couple—is essential. Through prayer, we gradually enter into the shared intimacy to which we are called: with the Lord and with our spouse.
This is truly the best way to come to know both the Truth and my spouse. Little by little, the Lord transforms our hearts and our way of seeing. If I look at my spouse from my own perspective, I will see them in a distorted way, shaped by my fallen nature. But if I look from the Truth, I will see my spouse as the Lord sees them.

Applied to Married Life

Joseph: Catherine, my mum was telling me how much she loves your apple tart.
Catherine: Oh, Joseph, how kind of her. She’s been very thoughtful towards me lately.
Joseph: Yes, Catherine. She’s come to realise how important you are to me. I speak about you a lot—about how you care for me, everything you do for me and for the children…
Catherine: I love that. And since we’ve been praying together, I’ve also come to see how important she is to you—and therefore to us—and to our children too.
Joseph: I must admit, I often feel quite lazy about it, but then I see the fruits of prayer, and I end up thanking God for your perseverance—for drawing me along.
Catherine: Well then, what do you think about taking a little time for prayer before we start preparing dinner?
Joseph: I have to admit I don’t feel like it… but I receive your gift—let’s do it!
Together: Holy Spirit, come each day into our hearts…

Mother,

help us to persevere in our personal and conjugal prayer, so that you may lead us ever closer to your Son. Praise be to the Lord!

The Gospel of the Lord

At that time: Jesus answered the Jews, ‘My Father is working even now, and I am working.’ This was why the Jews were seeking all the more to kill him, because not only was he breaking the Sabbath, but he was even calling God his own Father, making himself equal with God.
  So Jesus said to them, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing. For whatever the Father does, that the Son does likewise. For the Father loves the Son and shows him all that he himself is doing. And greater works than these will he show him, so that you may marvel. For as the Father raises the dead and gives them life, so also the Son gives life to whom he will. For the Father judges no one, but has given all judgement to the Son, that all may honour the Son, just as they honour the Father. Whoever does not honour the Son does not honour the Father who sent him. Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word, and believes him who sent me, has eternal life. He does not come into judgement, but has passed from death to life.
  ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, an hour is coming, and is now here, when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God, and those who hear will live. For as the Father has life in himself, so he has granted the Son also to have life in himself. And he has given him authority to execute judgement, because he is the Son of Man. Do not marvel at this, for the hour is coming when all who are in the tombs will hear his voice and come out, those who have done good to the resurrection of life, and those who have done evil to the resurrection of judgement.
  ‘I can do nothing on my own. As I hear, I judge, and my judgement is just, because I seek not my own will but the will of him who sent me.’

The Gospel of the Lord

My dear Jesus, You so often emphasise that You do not seek to do Your own will, but the will of the Father.
If You, being God, seek only to do the Father’s will, how can I—a small creature, who knows so little compared to You—insist on doing my own will? How can I think that my will should be the measure of truth? What a mistake it is to believe that truth lies in my own will!
Please, Lord, help me to turn away from doing my own will. May my will never be the guiding principle, because it can only lead me into selfishness—even when I have the best intentions.
So, Jesus, may I desire only to do Your will.
And how do I know what Your will is? By listening to You—in prayer, in the silence of my heart. There You show me that the measure is not what I feel like doing or not doing, not what I think or fail to think. The measure is what You would do.
And if I am not sure? I must always question my own judgement, listen to You in silence, and, in doubt, follow my spouse. There, Your will will always be present. Because Your will is that I give myself, that I come out of myself—that I deny myself, take up my daily cross, and love in every situation.

Applied to Married Life

Mary: Christopher, this Gospel speaks so deeply to me. I remember how I used to think you were wrong, that you didn’t understand things properly. I would go before the Blessed Sacrament and tell the Lord how mistaken you were… but I wasn’t really listening to Him. I would come away convinced that I was right, and then return home lecturing you.
Christopher: I’ve really noticed the change—from demanding things of me to treating me with such tenderness.
Mary: I know what the secret is: the sacraments and prayer. But prayer where I truly look at Christ and listen to Him. At first, I hardly heard Him, because I found it so hard to stop thinking about my own concerns. But when I gaze at Him—when I see how good He is, how much He loves me, when I simply contemplate Him—that’s when I’ve learned to listen. And do you know something? He never tells me I’m right. He always tells me to give myself, to love, to welcome, to excuse.
Christopher: It’s wonderful to hear you say that. I still find it difficult, but I know that, when in doubt, what I should do is not what I feel like doing, but what you would prefer. For that, besides the sacraments and prayer you mentioned, those small acts of self-denial are essential. They help me move away from my own desires—I wrap them in love and offer them up for our family.
Mary: How great the Lord is!

Mother,

help us always to live in your presence. By doing what you would do, we will always be doing the will of God. Blessed and praised be the Lord!