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Part of the Plan. Reflection for marriages. Luke 12:1-7

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From the Gospel according to Luke 12:1-7

At that time: So many people were crowding together that they were trampling one another underfoot. Jesus began to speak, first to his disciples, “Beware of the leaven that is, the hypocrisy of the Pharisees. There is nothing concealed that will not be revealed, nor secret that will not be known. Therefore whatever you have said in the darkness will be heard in the light, and what you have whispered behind closed doors will be proclaimed on the housetops. I tell you, my friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body but after that can do no more. I shall show you whom to fear. Be afraid of the one who after killing has the power to cast into Gehenna; yes, I tell you, be afraid of that one. Are not five sparrows sold for two small coins? Yet not one of them has escaped the notice of God. Even the hairs of your head have all been counted. Do not be afraid. You are worth more than many sparrows.”

Part of the Plan

In today’s Gospel, the Lord reminds us that even the hairs on our head are all counted. Nothing escapes Him. In our day-to-day lives, there are no coincidences, nothing is left to chance by God the Father.  Everything is part of His plan of salvation for us. And for us as spouses, the Lord has a very specific plan: that plan is my spouse. He is counting on my spouse for my salvation and on me for hers/his. In a way, He makes us co-redeemers! That means my talents and my spouse’s talents are there to be given away.  And so are our weaknesses and failures, because it’s through those challenges and trials that we both grow. By receiving my spouse even in his/her sin or struggle, our marriage is strengthened and refined in the fire of testing.
There’s nothing greater or more exciting than knowing the Lord invites us to be part of one another’s salvation!

Apply to married life:

Sam: Hey Mary, love, could you bathe the little one today?
Mary: Sam, I’m so tired. I just finished work and I still need to make dinner!
Sam: Well… maybe you could stop work a bit earlier so you’re not so tired?
Mary: (pauses, thinking…)
This is the moment the Lord is giving me to receive His grace and to receive Sam in his weakness.
This is my opportunity to keep purifying my heart.
So… I’ll choose to welcome God’s grace and grow in humility.
Mary: Sam, my love, I’ll bathe the baby. You go rest, I know you’ve had a tough day.
Sam: Love, you have no idea how much it means to me that you understand me. Thank you, muah!
Mary: Of course. Let’s both thank God, because He’s the one changing our hearts and our marriage. Sound good?
Sam: Absolutely, love!

Mother,

You said “yes” to God’s plan. Teach us to say “yes” in every situation, even when we don’t understand. Praised be the Lord forever!

Jesus Warns Us. Reflection for marriages. Luke 11:47-54

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From he Gospel according to Luke 11:47-54

 

The Lord said: “Woe to you who build the memorials of the prophets whom your fathers killed. Consequently, you bear witness and give consent to the deeds of your ancestors, for they killed them and you do the building. Therefore, the wisdom of God said, ‘I will send to them prophets and Apostles; some of them they will kill and persecute’ in order that this generation might be charged with the blood of all the prophets hed since the foundation of the world, from the blood of Abel to the blood of Zechariah who died between the altar and the temple building. Yes, I tell you, this generation will be charged with their blood! Woe to you, scholars of the law! You have taken away the key of knowledge. You yourselves did not enter and you stopped those trying to enter.” When Jesus left, the scribes and Pharisees began to act with hostility toward him and to interrogate him about many things, for they were plotting to catch him at something he might say.

 

Jesus Warns Us

Today, Jesus, because He loves us, gives us a warning: “Yes, I tell you, this generation will be held accountable.” Woe to you who don’t enter in, and who block others from entering! Today is a day to examine myself: What is in my heart and in my behavior that keeps me from entering the Kingdom of Heaven and from living in a state of grace? And what in me might be making it harder, or even impossible, for my spouse or my children to enter? Maybe it’s my need to control everything and always be right… Maybe it’s my bursts of anger, my lack of patience, or the way I speak harshly. Maybe it’s my attitude when rather than welcoming and encouraging them, I bring discouragement and sadness. 

Thank You, Lord, for waking me up! Blessed are You how deeply You love me!

 

Applied to married life:

(At night, during conjugal prayer)
Tim: Carmel, forgive me. I’ve been unbearable today, grumpy, snapping over every little thing. I’ve been stuck all day in the mess inside my heart. And what hurts the most is knowing I dragged you down with me.
Carmel: Tim, yes… it’s been a tough day. And instead of receiving you in your brokenness, I added mine to it. We hurt each other and we hurt the Lord too.
Tim: I want to help you live a little piece of Heaven here with both of us united to the Lord. I long for that deep intimacy, the three of us together.
Carmel: Our Sacrament of Marriage is such a gift. How many times Jesus rescues us through it.
Tim: Tomorrow, I’m going to ask the kids for forgiveness. I really pushed them too far today.

Carmel: My dear husband… you have such a beautiful heart.

 

Mother,

With you, my soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord, my spirit rejoices in God my Savior. Praise be the Lord!

Sharing the Yoke. Reflection for marriages. Matthew 11:25-30

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Gospel
From the Gospel according to Matthew. Mt 11, 25-30
At that time Jesus said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this is what you were pleased to do. All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Sharing the Yoke

Thank you, Lord, for your words. Have you really revealed these things to the little ones? Of course you have! because when I think I know how things are, I only listen to myself and not to You.
Lord, I truly know nothing. I want to listen to You. 
Am I tired and overwhelmed? Yes, many times. So, what should I do? Once again, You couldn’t be clearer: I must go to You, and You will give me rest. And to take Your yoke? Of course! because when I try to carry everything by myself, the load becomes too heavy. But when I take Your yoke, You carry it with me. If I carry the yoke with You and with my spouse (literally “conjugal,” sharing the yoke), the burden becomes light, because we’re united, both of us, and united with You.
And how should I do it? With gentleness and humility.  Knowing that I know nothing, that You know everything, that You can do all things.  That my real enemy is my self-love.  That the remedy is love for You and for my spouse above all else.  Not my will, but Yours and hers/his.
Thank you, Lord. I hear You, and with Your help, I’ll go forward together with my spouse.

Applied to married life:

Teena: Mathew, I can’t take it anymore! I’m exhausted! I have to do everything myself!
Matthew: Sweetheart, please, let me help you.
Teena: I wish you would! I’ve been asking all day and you haven’t listened!
Matthew: I’m sorry, really. I didn’t realize. But please, remember what we agreed on: let’s pray first.
Teena: Oh, come on… (but she lets the Spirit guide her) Okay, fine, let’s pray.
(They begin to pray together)
Matthew: Lord, I ask your forgiveness. Teena, I ask your forgiveness too. Lord, help me be more attentive to my wife.
Teena: Lord, forgive me for losing my patience. Carlos, forgive me too. Lord, with You I can do all things; without You, nothing. Help me to give of myself without counting the cost, and to trust that I can rely on Carlos, even when I don’t understand how he doesn’t see what I need. Thank You for giving me this chance to grow in gentleness and humility.
Matthew: Lord, thank You for giving me the best wife in the world. Forgive me for sometimes focusing more on my own stuff than on her. Thank you, Teresa, for being so wonderful.
Teena: Thank You, Lord. Thank you, Carlos, you’re amazing! And now, help me because together with the Lord, we can do anything.

Mother,

Please help us truly listen to Your Son and to follow Him. Don’t let the world overwhelm us. Help us live close to You, with You doing His will, always united with my spouse. Praised be Your Son forever!

Double Intentions. Reflection for marriages. Luke 11:37-41

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From the Gospel according to Luke. Lk. 11:37-41

After Jesus had spoken, a Pharisee invited him to dine at his home.
He entered and reclined at table to eat.
The Pharisee was amazed to see that he did not observe the prescribed washing before the meal.
The Lord said to him, “Oh you Pharisees! Although you cleanse the outside of the cup and the dish, inside you are filled with plunder and evil. You fools! Did not the maker of the outside also make the inside? But as to what is within, give alms, and behold, everything will be clean for you.”

Double Intentions

The Lord, who is our Creator, knows our hearts, our deepest thoughts. That’s why He doesn’t want us to have double intentions (like the Pharisees), but to live a pure life in every way, both inside and out.
There is a saying “the face is the mirror of the soul”… but what’s really in our soul? How many times do we do things just to look good or to be seen? And what about in our marriage? Thanks to the conyugal prayer, we start to uncover and bring to light those hidden intentions we might have, so we can help each other untangle them and become truly transparent with one another.

Applied to married life:

(During conyugal prayer)
Eva: Well… speaking of the Pharisees… the Lord showed me through this Gospel that sometimes I help you because I want something in return, like for you to tell me how good I am at things. He also showed me that this morning, when I went to buy winter clothes for us and the kids, I wasn’t really thinking about what we needed, but more about how others would see us, like we’re one of those “picture-perfect” magazine families. Love, I ask you to help me with this so I can learn to do things only out of love for God, to please Him, and to serve you and our children.
Greg: Well, God also showed me something… Sometimes at work, I want to stand out to be noticed as the best and I want everyone to see it so they’ll think I’m important. And the truth is, sometimes I step on others or forget to act with charity. This prayer helped me see my own poverty and vanity and reminded me that if I achieve anything, it’s only by God’s grace, and I’m accountable to Him alone. Let’s help each other avoid chasing after praise or attention in what we do. Sound good?
Eva: I just had an idea what if, whenever one of us does something good, the other one says out loud, “Glory to God!” That way, we’ll remember that everything we do is thanks to Him and for Him not for our own glory.
Greg: Babe, I love you so much. That’s a beautiful idea. Glory to God!

 
Mother,

We ask you to help us always seek the Lord, and do everything for Him and through Him. Blessed and praised be the Lord forever!

Making Christ Present. Reflection for marriages. Luke 11:29-32

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Gospel

From the Gospel according to Luke. Lk. 11:29-32

While still more people gathered in the crowd, Jesus said to them, “This generation is an evil generation; it seeks a sign, but no sign will be given it, except the sign of Jonah.
Just as Jonah became a sign to the Ninevites, so will the Son of Man be to this generation.
At the judgment the queen of the south will rise with the men of this generation and she will condemn them, because she came from the ends of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon, and there is something greater than Solomon here.
At the judgment the men of Nineveh will arise with this generation and condemn it, because at the preaching of Jonah they repented, and there is something greater than Jonah here.”

Making Christ Present

Today, just like He did with the people of His time, Jesus is is calling us out. Since He came into the world, since His Redemption, we’ve been given everything we need to have the kind of marriage He intended, but we’re still so lost. In married life, we often wait for “signs” from each other: perfect gestures of affection, just the right words of comfort, clear proof of love. But the Gospel reminds us that what we really need is to open our hearts to what’s already in front of us. Jesus reminds us that the real sign isn’t something external, but faithfulness and true self-giving.
The “sign of Jonah” was about people who listened, and changed. In marriage, the real sign isn’t big gestures or flashy moments. It’s found in the simple things: in daily patience, in offering forgiveness, in the effort to understand each other, in the tenderness we give without expecting anything in return. The Gospel also says: “Here is one greater than Jonah, greater than Solomon.” In marriage, that “greater one” is Christ, present right between the two of us. If both are truly trying to find Jesus in the other, the relationship doesn’t rely just on human words, but on the certainty of a deeper love. So let’s never forget that our marriage is made of three and that we don’t miss the signs of His presence in our everyday life.

Applied to married life:

Lucy: Declan, I want to say sorry. A lot of times, I get all twisted up inside thinking you don’t love me enough. I focus only on what you say or do and I don’t see your heart.
Declan: Have you been reading my mind? I was literally thinking the same thing. I often get stuck on appearances and feel like the kids come before me in your heart.
Lucy: Wow, I’m sorry. It’s true that sometimes, when I doubt your love for me, I just shut down, and I don’t even feel like making you dinner.
Declan: Wait, seriously? But your dinners are amazing!
Lucy: Haha, you dummy. Well, on those days, I cook without a single drop of love.
Declan: Babe, on our wedding day, when I said “yes,” I gave you my past, my present, and my future. I mess up a lot, and sometimes I don’t show you that because I get caught up in myself. I’m sorry.
Lucy: That’s exactly why I want to ask both you and God to forgive me. Our marriage is made of three, and on the days I close in on myself, I even start to doubt if getting married was the right choice… But now, after praying, I realize this all comes from me, from my own insecurities and my need for a “perfect” kind of love from you. I’m sorry, love.
Declan: You’re adorable. From now on, let’s not doubt that God is in our marriage and let’s stop asking each other for more “signs.” Deal?
Lucy: Totally. And now I’m gonna make you a delicious dinner with lots of love this time.

Mother,

Teach us not to doubt our spouse, and to focus on the greatest sign that unites us: our Sacrament. Praise be to the Lord who waits for us in our spouse.