To Give Ourselves with Him. Reflection for Marriages Matthew 9:14–15

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Gospel of the Day

A reading from the holy Gospel according to Gospel of Matthew 9:14–15

The disciples of John approached Jesus and said,
“Why do we and the Pharisees fast much,
but your disciples do not fast?”
Jesus answered them, “Can the wedding guests mourn
as long as the bridegroom is with them?
The days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them,
and then they will fast.”

To Give Ourselves with Him

What joy in this word of the Lord, in which He reveals Himself to us as the Bridegroom!

He is the Bridegroom, the Bridegroom of the Church. He nourishes us in the Eucharist, gives us His Body and says to us, “Do this in memory of me.”

What joy and what Good News that we, as husbands and wives, can go with Him to give ourselves to our spouse.

With Him — with His love, His gaze, His charity, His Body — everything is possible. And self-giving becomes easier, simpler and far more bearable. For as He Himself tells us, “My yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Therefore, husbands and wives, let us turn to Him: to His Word, to His presence in Confession, to His real presence in the Eucharist. In this way we make Him present among us.

Thus we shall be able to love as He loves, to give ourselves as He gives Himself, and to welcome one another as He always welcomes His Bride, the Church.

Applied to Married Life

Clara: Hello Borja, I’m going to Mass — are you coming?
Borja: No, Clara, you go. Honestly, I don’t really see the point of going every day…
Clara: I’ve finished — I’m on my way home.
Borja: About time! I’m tired, and now we still have to make dinner…
Clara: Don’t worry, darling, I’ll do it. I’ll even make you a delicious little starter — cockles with lemon and some patatas bravas, just how you like them.
Borja: OK, come quickly — I’m hungry.
Clara: Yes, of course, I’m on my way.

(When she arrives home)

Clara: Children, dinner time — Daddy’s hungry. Ana, set the table. Carlos, slice the bread and put out the water.
Borja: Darling, what a delicious starter — and what an amazing dinner! Absolutely mouth-watering… You really know what I like! It’s wonderful to see your joy and your self-giving, especially after the day you’ve had.
Clara: It’s the Lord’s joy and self-giving, Borja.
Borja: Clara, I want that too — to have the Lord and to have His joy and His self-giving. Tomorrow I’ll come to Mass with you.
Clara: Of course, my love! The Lord only needs our little “yes”.
Borja: It’s incredible to think of the wonders the Lord has prepared for us. Thank you for bringing me closer to Him — and closer to happiness between us.

Mother,

Mother of Conjugal Love, lead us to your Son, so that together with Him we may reach communion between us.

Blessed be the Lord.

He Is the True Gain. Reflection for Marriages Luke 9:22–25

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Gospel of the Day

Gospel of Luke 9:22–25
Jesus said to his disciples:
“The Son of Man must suffer greatly and be rejected
by the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes,
and be killed and on the third day be raised.”
Then he said to all,
“If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself
and take up his cross daily and follow me.
For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it,
but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.
What profit is there for one to gain the whole world
yet lose or forfeit himself?”

He Is the True Gain
How often we try to “save” our lives by imposing our own will and criteria, battling against our spouse. And what do we achieve? We lose life itself — joy and happiness fade because the distance between us grows and we drift away from God.
God loves us infinitely and wants to give us true happiness, fullness of life. Yet instead of welcoming that gift, we struggle fruitlessly to obtain the happiness we long for, and we end up exhausted and dissatisfied.
Only in God can we be filled. But self-love and pride prevent us from trusting Him. They stop us from recognising that He is the true gain, and that only by striving — with His grace — to purify our hearts will we attain that longed-for happiness: to live in Him.
Jesus came to save us from sin by dying on the Cross. We too must take up our daily cross — but He carries it with us.
Blessed are You, Lord!
Applied to Married Life
Marta (in prayer): Lord, I come to You wounded. I feel more and more alone, and I respond to my husband with pride and demands. I repay him with the “same coin”. I know this is not what You desire. I know that Paco is a gift for me, and that through him I can love You. But I rebel and seek my own will instead of Yours.
Lord, I want to walk with You and to embrace my small daily crosses, because with You I can do all things, and without You I am nothing.
Sacred Heart of Jesus, in You I trust.
Prayer

Mother,
You who remained with Jesus in His Passion and at the foot of the Cross, teach me to remain beside Him in every circumstance of my life. Give me your humility to always welcome the Father’s will, as you did.
Thank you, Mother, for your “yes”.

Focused on You. Reflection for Marriages Matthew 6:1–6, 16–18

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Gospel of the Day

Gospel of Matthew 6:1–6, 16–18
Jesus said to his disciples:
“Take care not to perform righteous deeds
in order that people may see them;
otherwise, you will have no recompense from your heavenly Father.
When you give alms,
do not blow a trumpet before you,
as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets
to win the praise of others.
Amen, I say to you,
they have received their reward.
But when you give alms,
do not let your left hand know what your right is doing,
so that your almsgiving may be secret.
And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.
“When you pray,
do not be like the hypocrites,
who love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on street corners
so that others may see them.
Amen, I say to you,
they have received their reward.
But when you pray, go to your inner room,
close the door, and pray to your Father in secret.
And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.
“When you fast,
do not look gloomy like the hypocrites.
They neglect their appearance,
so that they may appear to others to be fasting.
Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward.
But when you fast,
anoint your head and wash your face,
so that you may not appear to be fasting,
except to your Father who is hidden.
And your Father who sees what is hidden will repay you.”

Focused on You
My dear Jesus, today Lent begins. This time that our Mother the Church gives us so that we may prepare for Holy Week — Your Passion. That great mystery, the great secret finally revealed: the infinite love You have for me. You give Your life for me, suffering terribly, to pay for my sins, to rescue me and open for me the gates of Heaven.
Lord, help me to recognise my smallness, my nothingness without You, my everything with You. How am I living? Where is my heart?
This is a special time of prayer, of meeting You in the depths of my heart — to know You more, to know myself more, and to know my spouse more deeply.
A time to fast from those material things that have captured my heart, that consume my time (my phone, my plans, my… so much “me”), that distance me from my spouse.
A time for almsgiving — to give to others not what is left over, but to give myself. To give myself to my spouse.
And all this, not to be seen. Let no one see it, Lord — only You. We share it, You and I, in a loving intimacy. And we make it life, above all, within our marriage.
With this self-giving, You will work wonders. In You I trust.

Applied to Married Life
Alfonso: Ana, this Lent I truly want to live it well. I want to prepare my heart for that incredible moment which is Holy Week. It moves me deeply that our God comes down from Heaven to give His life for us.
Ana: Yes, it makes one tremble. I think it’s beautiful. Let’s write down three things we want to practise in prayer, fasting and almsgiving. And each day — when we wake up, at midday and at night — we can review how we’re doing. Without losing heart like other years if we slacken. If we fall, we simply rise again.
Alfonso: For prayer: every day, first thing, our conjugal prayer together. And I also want to set aside some time for personal prayer — to be alone with the Lord.
Ana: Me too. And I want to fast from overworking. I don’t want to arrive home late.
Alfonso: I will fast from my phone. No phone or screens after 9 p.m. Although I’m afraid… what if I miss something important?
Ana: I’m afraid too about reducing extra work. But let’s trust in the Lord. If we give the time to Him, He will take care of the rest.
Alfonso: For almsgiving, I’ll give you my leisure time. For you — for whatever you would like.
Ana: Me too. Let’s do it! It will cost us, but persevering together each day, with the Lord’s help, we will manage it.
Prayer

Mother,
Please help us to live this Lent focused on Your Son. May we live it as you did — in loving intimacy with Him.
Blessed and praised be God.

Hardened Heart. Reflection for Marriages Mark 8:14–21

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Gospel of the Day

A reading from the Holy Gospel according to Saint Mark (8:14–21)
The disciples had forgotten to bring bread,
and they had only one loaf with them in the boat.
Jesus enjoined them, “Watch out,
guard against the leaven of the Pharisees
and the leaven of Herod.”
They concluded among themselves that
it was because they had no bread.
When he became aware of this he said to them,
“Why do you conclude that it is because you have no bread?
Do you not yet understand or comprehend?
Are your hearts hardened?
Do you have eyes and not see, ears and not hear?
And do you not remember,
when I broke the five loaves for the five thousand,
how many wicker baskets full of fragments you picked up?”
They answered him, “Twelve.”
“When I broke the seven loaves for the four thousand,
how many full baskets of fragments did you pick up?”
They answered him, “Seven.”
He said to them, “Do you still not understand?

Hardened Heart
The Lord longs to nourish our soul, yet we insist on filling ourselves with the things of the world, as if they could quench our thirst. In reality, the opposite happens: we are left even emptier.
This is what we see in the disciples. For this reason, Jesus reproaches them. They are so preoccupied with worldly concerns that they are unable to see, hear, or understand.
The same can happen each day in our marriage. We look at our spouse through our own lens, according to our own criteria. We notice imperfections and mistakes. We search for faults and pass judgement.
What does the Lord do with us? He, who is God and gave Himself to save us, looks upon us with love and mercy. He sees what we are called to become. He calls us by name, not by our sin.
Tomorrow, Lent begins — a time of preparation and reparation, in which we offer to the Lord everything that distances us from Him. In our prayer, we shall place before Him our hardened hearts and ask Him to help us free them from all that belongs to the world.

Applied to Married Life
Esther: Darling, I don’t know how to tell the children to help more at home — they are driving me mad!
Gonzalo: Esther, don’t you see they’re not fully aware? They’re wrapped up in their own things and only think about themselves and what they feel like doing.
Esther: Doesn’t it wind you up? At any moment I’m going to shout at them to see if they react. I really can’t take it any more — they’re like parasites.
Gonzalo: What if we try something different? Instead of giving them yet another telling-off, let’s give them light. Let’s speak to them in a way that helps illuminate the right path — perhaps that will work better.
(After a week of speaking to them several times with great love and gently showing them the Truth)
Esther: Honestly, Gonzalo, shouting doesn’t help at all. But what the Holy Spirit has been prompting us to say to them these past days, showing them the Truth, is bearing fruit!
Gonzalo: Then we must persevere — little by little. But above all, let us not forget our prayer, so that we too may learn to do everything in the Lord and guide them better.

Mother,

May we learn to live in the Lord as you did, and thus have pure hearts, not hardened ones.
Blessed and praised be the Lord for ever!

I trust in you. Reflection for Marriages Mark 8:11–13

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Gospel of the Day

A reading from the Holy Gospel according to Mark the Evangelist 8:11–13
The Pharisees came forward and began to argue with Jesus,
seeking from him a sign from heaven to test him.
He sighed from the depth of his spirit and said,
“Why does this generation seek a sign?
Amen, I say to you, no sign will be given to this generation.”
Then he left them, got into the boat again,
and went off to the other shore.
I trust in you
In this passage, the Pharisees approach Jesus not to encounter him, but to test him. They ask for a sign — an extraordinary guarantee to confirm what is already before their eyes. Jesus sighs deeply: it is not a loud outburst of anger, but the weariness of someone who feels questioned in a relationship where there should be trust.
In married life something very similar happens. At times, without realising it, we treat our spouse as the Pharisees treated Jesus: we ask for “signs”.
— If you really loved me, you would…
— If you loved me, I would notice it more, you would show it better…
The problem is not desiring gestures of love, but living in a constant demand for proof, as though the other’s love were always under suspicion. That is exhausting. Hence Jesus’ sigh: love does not flourish where everything is examination and verification.
Jesus refuses to give the sign they demand because true love is neither imposed nor forced into demonstration. His presence, his word, his self-giving were already the sign. In the same way, in marriage the sign is often already there: in daily fidelity, in perseverance, in continuing to “get into the boat together” even when there are no fireworks.
This Gospel invites husbands and wives to move from the logic of “prove it to me” to the logic of “I trust you”; to recognise the simple, everyday signs of love, and to care for the relationship so that it does not become a testing ground, but a place of rest. Because, in the end, conjugal love — like God’s love — does not require spectacular signs, but a heart capable of recognising them.
Applied to Married Life
Iris: Today I realised that sometimes I treat you like the Pharisees treated Jesus.
Alejandro: Is that serious? Should I be worried?
Iris: A little… I ask you for signs from heaven.
Alejandro: The miracle type? Like multiplying clean socks?
Iris: Exactly. And folding them properly as well, just to make it clear that you love me.
Alejandro: Then I’ve been failing the love exam for years.
Iris: It’s not that… It’s just that sometimes I need proof.
Alejandro: And sometimes I sigh like Jesus in the Gospel. Not out loud, but inside.
Iris: I know. And today I thought: perhaps you are already giving me the signs, they’re just not spectacular.
Alejandro: Of course. I don’t call down fire from heaven, but I do take the rubbish out every night.
Iris: And that counts too.
Alejandro: For me it should count a lot, because I really am trying.
Iris: Shall we make a deal? I’ll try to trust more and not ask for daily miracles.
Alejandro: And I promise not to go “to the other side” when I feel tested.
Iris: Better that we stay in the same boat.
Alejandro: Yes. Love doesn’t need signs from heaven… as long as it doesn’t sink, we’re doing well.
Mother,
help us each day to recognise the simple signs, and not to weary the other’s heart with demands born of fear.
Blessed are you always, Mother.