Not knowing who I am. Commentary on Marriage: Matthew 23:1-12

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Do not follow their example.
Reading from the Holy Gospel according to Matthew 23:1-12

Jesus spoke to the crowds and to his disciples, saying,
“The scribes and the Pharisees
have taken their seat on the chair of Moses.
Therefore, do and observe all things whatsoever they tell you,
but do not follow their example.
For they preach but they do not practice.
They tie up heavy burdens hard to carry
and lay them on people’s shoulders,
but they will not lift a finger to move them.
All their works are performed to be seen.
They widen their phylacteries and lengthen their tassels.
They love places of honor at banquets, seats of honor in synagogues,
greetings in marketplaces, and the salutation ‘Rabbi.’
As for you, do not be called ‘Rabbi.’
You have but one teacher, and you are all brothers.
Call no one on earth your father;
you have but one Father in heaven.
Do not be called ‘Master’;
you have but one master, the Christ.
The greatest among you must be your servant.
Whoever exalts himself will be humbled;
but whoever humbles himself will be exalted.”

The Gospel of the Lord.

Not knowing who I am.

Any self-exaltation is a form of pride. Sometimes we believe that we are better than others just because we pray or go to Mass, or because we are faithful to our marriage. And does that give me the authority to dismiss those who are not, or to believe that I am superior? But weren’t we in agreement that it is God who does it? Ultimately, it all comes from not knowing who God the Father is and what I receive from Him, not knowing the Holy Spirit and what He works in me, not knowing His mercy and the grace I receive from Jesus Christ through His resurrection and death. Ultimately, my pride comes from not knowing the Holy Trinity.
All glory belongs to God, the Father, and to Christ, the only Messiah.

Applied to married life:

Ramón: Marta, could you please put your phone down while I’m talking to you?
Marta: I’m not on my phone. I’m praying. Unlike you, who never prays, that’s why things aren’t going well for you. I’ve said three rosaries today and fasted.
Ramón: It seems quite inconsistent that you pray so much but don’t even have the courtesy to put your phone down when I’m speaking to you.
Marta: Well, having another one of your superficial conversations is a bit of a waste of time, to be honest.
Ramón: Alright then, keep praying…
(At night, during the examination of conscience, Marta realizes that she is no better than Ramón just because she prays more)
Marta: I’m sorry, Ramón. You were right. I shouldn’t have been on my phone while you were talking to me. You’re very important to me.
Ramón: That’s one thing I admire about you. You always acknowledge things and ask for forgiveness.
Marta: It’s not me, it’s the Lord who makes me see it and pushes me to apologize.


Those who belong to God demonstrate it by not exalting themselves but by exalting God. They always point to the one to whom all glory belongs. Praise be to my Lord.

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