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Samurai plants. Reflection for marriages. Jn 15:1-8

From the Gospel according to John

Jn 15:1-8

Jesus said to his disciples:

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vine grower.

He takes away every branch in me that does not bear fruit,

and everyone that does he prunes so that it bears more fruit.

You are already pruned because of the word that I spoke to you.

Remain in me, as I remain in you.

Just as a branch cannot bear fruit on its own

unless it remains on the vine,

so neither can you unless you remain in me.

I am the vine, you are the branches.

Whoever remains in me and I in him will bear much fruit,

because without me you can do nothing.

Anyone who does not remain in me

will be thrown out like a branch and wither;

people will gather them and throw them into a fire

and they will be burned.

If you remain in me and my words remain in you,

ask for whatever you want and it will be done for you.

By this is my Father glorified,

that you bear much fruit and become my disciples.”

The Gospel of the Lord.

Samurai plants.

This whole pruning thing does not seem very appealing to us. We’re trying to avoid it. I imagine plants during the pruning season dodging the pruning shears like in The Matrix, trying to avoid the cut. The Holy Spirit wants to prune me using the circumstances of everyday life, with the differences with my husband that make me uncomfortable, or with his sins, or with mine. All of this takes me out of my comfort zone. It makes my heart more elastic, open to others, simple and tender. I resist, and I complain. But then I ask for humility, I ask for gentleness, I ask for love in my life… But if you haven’t let yourself be pruned? In spring the gardener would say to the “samurai” plant that it will not bloom as a consequence of not being pruned.

If I want the fruits of love, I have to let myself be pruned. It will initially hurt, but then the joy comes.

Applied to married life:

Antonio: Lord, I’m grateful that I fixed the kitchen chair despite my wife didn’t thank me. I have the opportunity to give without receiving anything in return. Thank you because I try to leave everything as she likes, the window open, the slippers in their place… but last night I forgot to take out the rubbish, and that bothered her. Thank you, Lord, because I have discovered my limited love and it helps me not to demand perfection from her. At dinner, she brought up again  that occasion when I hurt her when we were newlyweds, and she blamed me for it as if I had done it today. Thank you, Lord, because you helped me look at her with mercy and see her wounded heart instead of reacting defensively.

Marta: Lord, I agreed to meet him at 5pm, and he arrived late without letting me know. Thank you because I had the opportunity to love him in that situation, it helped me grow in patience and not to focus on myself despite feeling undervalued. And when he got stressed because of the traffic that bothers him so much, I asked for your help not to react badly, You helped me and I managed to calm him down with kindness. Thank you, Lord, because You helped me to not think of myself and to enter his heart and heal it.

Both together: Thank you, Lord, because in your plan you have considered our weaknesses and everything that happens in our lives. With all this, You build.

Mother,

The Lord prunes those who love Him the most. Sometimes we get tired, and sometimes it seems like the pruning never ends, and we never see the results. But the Lord knows better. We trust in Him. Thank you for those little flowers that we see sprouting from our branches, because they fill us with hope. Praise be to the Lord who makes all things new.

Striving to love you more. Reflection for Marriages. Jn 14:27-31a

From the Gospel according to John

Jn 14:27-31a

Jesus said to his disciples:

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.

Not as the world gives do I give it to you.

Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.

You heard me tell you,

‘I am going away and I will come back to you.’

If you love me,

you would rejoice that I am going to the Father;

for the Father is greater than I.

And now I have told you this before it happens,

so that when it happens you may believe.

I will no longer speak much with you,

for the ruler of the world is coming.

He has no power over me,

but the world must know that I love the Father

and that I do just as the Father has commanded me.”

The Gospel of the Lord

Striving to love you more.

Jesus goes to the Father because He loves Him and because He does His will. We also love Him, and that’s why we do the Lord’s will and want to be with Him. It seems that loving someone has a lot to do with wanting to be together and doing the will of our beloved. Is it the same with our spouse?

Applied to married life:

Martha: You want me to be with you, but only so I can do what you want.

Mark: And you keep telling me you love me, but it seems like you don’t want to be with me. I bet  you enjoy being with the Lord??

Martha: Yes, because the Lord loves me and doesn’t hurt me like you do.

(That evening, Martha and Mark pray together the Gospel in front of the Lord)

Mark: Jesus, I see Your relationship with the Father, and it’s true that you show how much you love Him by doing His will. Help me to connect again with my wife’s will, for love.

Martha: Jesus, I see that You want to be with the Father because you love Him. Help me not to love my husband only when he does what I like and how I like it. I would like to love him more for what he is and also because I love You.

Mark: I’m sorry, Martha. I’ll try to do my best.

Martha: I forgive you, my love. Please forgive me as well, Mark. I’ll try to love you more.

Mark: I forgive you.

Mother,

How happy you must be in heaven, forever re-united with Your Father, Your Son, and Your Husband. Knowing that our fate is to be together with You, strongly encourages us to keep trying hard. Praise be to the Lord who wants us with Him and to the Father whose will is for us to be with You, Lord 

Gentle or bitter? Reflection for marriages. Jn 14:21-26

From the Gospel according to John
Jn 14:21-26

Jesus said to his disciples:
“Whoever has my commandments and observes them
is the one who loves me.
Whoever loves me will be loved by my Father,
and I will love him and reveal myself to him.”
Judas, not the Iscariot, said to him,
“Master, then what happened that you will reveal yourself to us
and not to the world?”
Jesus answered and said to him,
“Whoever loves me will keep my word,
and my Father will love him,
and we will come to him and make our dwelling with him.
Whoever does not love me does not keep my words; yet the word you hear is not mine but that of the Father who sent me. “I have told you this while I am with you. The Advocate, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send in my name — he will teach you everything and remind you of all that I told you.”

The Gospel of the Lord.

Gentle or bitter?

Suffering is tough, but suffering without love or suffering while hating is much harder than suffering while loving. Striving to live out a marriage as God intended is difficult, but not living the marriage as God intended is like Chinese torture. Two proud spouses inflict much more harm on each other than they could by humbling themselves for love. Two spouses who try to dominate each other cause more harm. It’s nothing like the pain of self-control that gentleness requires. I decide whether I want to wear the face of bitterness or the peaceful face that gentleness brings. Spouses who live out marriage as God intended truly come to love each other because that sacrifice of mutual surrender, that self-mastery, bears the fruits of love, peace, joy, all obviously by the grace of God.

Applied to married life:

Mary: There are still times when we fall into misunderstandings, argue, and offend each other.

Peter: Yes, because even though we know that the way is that of humility, of putting myself last, of serving and not being served, etc., it’s hard to apply it to our lives.

Mary: What I’ve realised during this time is that those distances that affect us are getting shorter. They leave less residue in us each time, the wound is less deep. It’s like the Lord rebuilds it, heals it, and leaves no trace in us.

Peter: It is the Holy Spirit, who is within us. He intervenes, rebuilds us from within, redeems us, heals us. I have experienced it. I know He is in us. He is very powerful, very great, and leads us back to the path of love. By the way, what has the Holy Spirit poured into you that drives me crazy? I’m just in love with  you.

Mary: He has poured a little bit of God’s mercy into me.

Peter: How beautiful is God’s mercy.

Mary: And what has He poured into you that drives me crazy for you?

Peter: He has poured a little bit of God’s Will into me.

Mary: How beautiful is God’s Will.

Mother,

How beautiful is God’s way when we allow ourselves to be led by the Holy Spirit. He shows us God’s secrets, comforts us, advises us… The more we know Him, the more we like Him. Praise be to Christ for sending us His Spirit. Glory be to God

Drinking intimacy. Reflection for marriages. Jn 15:1-8

From the Gospel according to John
Jn 15:1-8

Jesus said to his disciples:
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vine grower.
He takes away every branch in me that does not bear fruit,
and every one that does he prunes so that it bears more fruit.
You are already pruned because of the word that I spoke to you.
Remain in me, as I remain in you.
Just as a branch cannot bear fruit on its own
unless it remains on the vine,
so neither can you unless you remain in me.
I am the vine, you are the branches.
Whoever remains in me and I in him will bear much fruit,
because without me you can do nothing.
Anyone who does not remain in me
will be thrown out like a branch and wither;
people will gather them and throw them into a fire
and they will be burned.
If you remain in me and my words remain in you,
ask for whatever you want and it will be done for you.
By this is my Father glorified,
that you bear much fruit and become my disciples.”

Drinking intimacy.

Remaining in Him. Being connected to His intimacy, what a marvel! Where better! And on top of that, we bear fruit, and on top of that, we give glory to the Father, and on top of that, we become disciples of the Lord. This is God’s great plan. If He has to prune us a little here and there, then blessed be!

Applied to married life:

Merche: I’m beginning to glimpse what it means to live in communion with each other and in Christ. It seems so precious, so incredible to me, that I am willing to do whatever it takes to live it with you.
Jesus (Merche’s fiancé): Then teach me, Merche, because I also want to experience with you what you’re talking about, but I lack faith.
Merche: Don’t worry, Jesus. You just have to trust and let yourself be carried along. If then your dreams start coming true, you’ll see how you keep moving forward on your own.
Jesus: For love of you, I am willing to leap into what you’re telling me, into that void that stands before me right now.
Merche: Blessed are you, because that longing has not been planted in you by any flesh and blood, but by our Father who is in heaven.
Jesus: Well, thank you, Father, if you hear me wherever you are.

Mother,

We only want to be united to Christ, drinking from His intimacy, and we also want all our loved 

The Model. Reflection for marriages. Jn 14:7-14

From the Gospel according to John
Jn 14:7-14

Jesus said to his disciples:
“If you know me, then you will also know my Father.
From now on you do know him and have seen him.”
Philip said to Jesus,
“Master, show us the Father, and that will be enough for us.”
Jesus said to him, “Have I been with you for so long a time
and you still do not know me, Philip?
Whoever has seen me has seen the Father.
How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’?
Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me?
The words that I speak to you I do not speak on my own.
The Father who dwells in me is doing his works.
Believe me that I am in the Father and the Father is in me,
or else, believe because of the works themselves.
Amen, amen, I say to you,
whoever believes in me will do the works that I do,
and will do greater ones than these,
because I am going to the Father.
And whatever you ask in my name, I will do,
so that the Father may be glorified in the Son.
If you ask anything of me in my name, I will do it.”

The Model

“I am in the Father and the Father is in me.” How to be in the other? This is your way of expressing the close relationship between You. So the Father acts through you, you do not speak on your own behalf, so also you act in His name.
That “being in” establishes a very special connection, which allows us to act “on behalf of”. Thus spouses, with God’s help, can know each other and reach the full knowledge that God has of me and of you, and even to the point of being able to act in the name of the other. Husband, I want to be in you and for you to be in me and together act in the name of the Lord. He has wanted to give us that power.

Applied to married life:

Monica: I still cannot say that I am in you, and I ask the Lord, in His name, to help me make it possible.
Ramon: I am not in you either, and I also ask Him. But little by little He is helping me. I already have you permanently in mind, as I have the Lord in mind at all times. I act as a child of God in any circumstance (or I try to) and as your husband. I make decisions thinking if you will like them, if I am doing something you do not like I feel uncomfortable, if you are upset with me my world crumbles and if you are distant from me, my life loses its meaning… I work for you, I live for you. I take into account what you like and try to do it. I know you don’t feel me in you, and therefore, I have a lot left, but I am progressing as much as I can.
Monica: Yes, I know. I know you try, but I also know that this type of union is only given by God. We entrust ourselves to Him, admiring His triple unity.

Mother,

Only the Holy Spirit can make us one. Give us more faith and send us the Spirit of God so that He may show us the path of unity and we may learn to be in each other. Praise be to God who wants to make us partakers of His Holiness. Amen.