Gospel of the Day
A reading from the Holy Gospel according to Matthew 9:9–13
As Jesus passed by, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the customs post. He said to him,
“Follow me.”
And he got up and followed him.
While he was at table in his house, many tax collectors and sinners came and sat with Jesus and his disciples.
The Pharisees saw this and said to his disciples,
“Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?”
He heard this and said,
“Those who are well do not need a physician, but the sick do. Go and learn the meaning of the words,
‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’
I did not come to call the righteous but sinners.”
Matthew or Pharisee?
In our marriage, we often fall into the attitude of the Pharisee: we place ourselves in the position of judging our spouse, and even judging the way Jesus is working in their life. We allow ourselves to be carried away by spiritual pride and begin to measure the life of faith in terms of “merit” or moral accounting. We think ourselves more worthy of the Lord drawing near to us because we consider ourselves holier, because we make more sacrifices, or because we are more involved in the parish. Yet this attitude of self-sufficiency actually distances us from Him, because where there is judgement, there is no room for mercy.
Jesus completely overturns this logic of merit. He does not seek those who believe themselves to be “righteous”, but contrite and humbled hearts that recognise their need for healing. This is why He did not call Matthew because of what he was at that moment — a tax collector regarded as a public sinner — but because of what he could become through His grace. If, instead of judging our spouse for their shortcomings, we adopt that same gaze of hope, we transform our married life into a place of redemption.
Whenever we are tempted to consider ourselves “the good one” in the marriage, let us remember how far we ourselves still are from the true mercy of God, and that being seated at His table is an undeserved gift that we receive only through His grace. Marriage does not need two perfect people, but two forgiven sinners who help one another towards holiness.
Let us rejoice sincerely and celebrate whenever our spouse receives even the smallest grace from Jesus — a little step forward, a gesture, a caress from Him — recognising in it the freely given love of God.
Applied to Married Life
Laura: John, are you angry with me?
John: No… Well, a little, but more with myself. Lately I’ve been unsettled inside. I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’m the one keeping everything going: things at the parish, praying together, keeping an eye on the children’s faith… while it all seems very comfortable for you.
Laura: Yes… I know you’re very committed.
John: And sometimes I think that, I don’t know… that I’m better than you because I do all those things.
Laura: Do you really think that?
John: I’m a little ashamed to admit it, but yes. I suppose I’ve fallen into thinking that I’m the “good one” out of the two of us and judging you.
Laura: John, I need you to be my husband and to stand beside me, not ahead of me.
John: Yes… You’re right.
Laura: I know I’m not where you are at the moment, but I also know that Jesus is working in me and walking with me.
John: That’s what I find difficult. Instead of trusting in what Jesus wants to do in you, I focus on what you’re lacking.
Laura: And I also have to admit that when I feel you’re judging me, I close myself off.
John: Forgive me. I want to learn to rejoice whenever I see even the smallest step you take, even when it’s different from what I expected.
Laura: And I want to allow you to help me more too.
John: In the end, neither of us has earned the right to be closer to Jesus.
Laura: No. It is He who has invited us, through His mercy.
John: And how patient He is with us…
Laura: Thank goodness.
Mother,
May I always recognise myself as someone in need of the healing of my wounded heart.
Praise be to God!