Daily Archives: 18 September, 2024

Excuses for not loving. Reflection for married couples. Luke 7, 31-35

GOSPEL

‘We played the pipes, and you wouldn’t dance’

A reading from the holy Gospel according to Luke

Luke 7:31-35

Jesus said to the people:
  ‘What description can I find for the men of this generation? What are they like? They are like children shouting to one another while they sit in the market-place:
‘“We played the pipes for you,
and you wouldn’t dance;
we sang dirges,
and you wouldn’t cry.”
‘For John the Baptist comes, not eating bread, not drinking wine, and you say, “He is possessed.” The Son of Man comes, eating and drinking, and you say, “Look, a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.” Yet Wisdom has been proved right by all her children.’

The Gospel of the Lord.

 

Excuses for Not Loving

There’s a significant difference between not believing and the more serious issue of refusing to believe, often armed with excuses. This can happen in marriage: I refuse to accept God’s will and instead criticise my spouse and the divine plan for my life together with them. What I have doesn’t seem good enough, and I use that as justification to stop fighting for our relationship. There’s a wise saying: “To a thin dog, everything becomes fleas.” When I am vulnerable and weak, everything seems wrong. This is why, if I find myself complaining a lot, it’s because I need more prayer, more sacraments, and to strengthen my faith in order to align with God’s will.
Yes, okay, my spouse isn’t a saint—neither am I! But that’s what we’re here for: to strive to become better and inspire those around us. That was my mission, and I may have forgotten it, expecting everything to be handed to me on a plate. God is great, immensely great, and He does not make mistakes. May He protect me from trying to amend His plan.

Applied to Married Life:

(At a meal with friends)
Anna: My husband is far too active; he never stops and it’s exhausting.
Theresa: Well, mine is far too lazy. I can’t get him off the sofa; it’s such a bore.
Paul: My wife is overly helpful, always doing things for others. I feel neglected.
John: Mine is so selfish, it’s unbelievable. She only thinks of herself.
Jill: My husband is a complete control freak. It drives me mad.
Lucy: Well, mine is a total mess. Keeping the house tidy is a daily battle.
Andrew: That’s nothing! My wife has a bit of everything you’ve all mentioned. One day she’s all about order, and the next it’s chaos. Her mood swings are like something out of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.
Peter: (The host of the gathering) Excuse me, but the children are at the table next door and can hear us. How are they supposed to believe in marriage when we’re making these comments about each other? It surprises me that some of us complain about one thing while others complain about the opposite. Perhaps we each need to embrace our situation and joyfully build a holy marriage together. Don’t you think?

Mother,

How much harm we do to our Creator with our endless complaints about what we have received from Him—what He crafted with such love to give to us. God’s gifts are precious and beautiful, yet we struggle to believe that they come from Him and that they are for our good. Father, forgive us for our stubbornness and ingratitude. Praised be Your wisdom and generosity. Amen.