The Love You Need. Reflection for marriages: Matthew 21:33-43, 45-46


This is the heir, let us kill him.
From the Gospel according to Matthew
Mt 21:33-43, 45-46

Jesus said to the chief priests and the elders of the people:
“Hear another parable.
There was a landowner who planted a vineyard,
put a hedge around it,
dug a wine press in it, and built a tower.
Then he leased it to tenants and went on a journey.
When vintage time drew near,
he sent his servants to the tenants to obtain his produce.
But the tenants seized the servants and one they beat,
another they killed, and a third they stoned.
Again he sent other servants, more numerous than the first ones,
but they treated them in the same way.
Finally, he sent his son to them,
thinking, ‘They will respect my son.’
But when the tenants saw the son, they said to one another,
‘This is the heir.
Come, let us kill him and acquire his inheritance.’
They seized him, threw him out of the vineyard, and killed him.
What will the owner of the vineyard do to those tenants when he comes?”
They answered him,
“He will put those wretched men to a wretched death
and lease his vineyard to other tenants
who will give him the produce at the proper times.”
Jesus said to them, “Did you never read in the Scriptures:

The stone that the builders rejected
has become the cornerstone;
by the Lord has this been done,
and it is wonderful in our eyes?

Therefore, I say to you,
the Kingdom of God will be taken away from you
and given to a people that will produce its fruit.”
When the chief priests and the Pharisees heard his parables,
they knew that he was speaking about them.
And although they were attempting to arrest him,
they feared the crowds, for they regarded him as a prophet.

The Gospel of the Lord

The Love You Need.

God is good. God is generous. We run the risk of becoming like spoilt children. Children who remember their parents only when they require laundry done, meals prepared, or money for their expenditures. For them, everything is rights and for their parents, everything is obligations. Thus, they do not stay with them by choice, nor do they love them for who they are, but for what they receive from them. In some way, they use them.
This dynamic is not limited to parental relationships but extends to our interactions with God and our partners. With God, praying to ask for things, praying when He gives us peace or we live comforting spiritual experiences that “recharge” our batteries, and when we don’t receive them, we lose interest in praying. But what about love for God Himself? Doesn’t He deserve our love with all that we have received and continue to receive from Him? Doesn’t He deserve to be praised and thanked every day at all hours simply because He loves us? Let’s see the interactions with our partners below.

Applied to the context of marriage:

Ashlyn: Hugh, do you love me, or do you just love what you receive from me? You want us to make love every week, you want me to ensure our house is tidy, the clothes clean and well ironed. You want me to go for walks with you on Sunday mornings because you enjoy the walks, you also want me to be pleasant to you, to not focus so much on the kids so I can spend more time with you and make you feel accompanied… But on the other hand, you find it hard to listen to me when I’m upset, you lose patience because you say I don’t get to the point, you get annoyed when I repeat myself, you take it badly when I leave you alone because I go to help my parents, etc. So, I would like to know if you care about me or just what you receive from me and enjoy. Because what you dislike about me, you take very badly.

Hugh: You matter to me, Ashlyn. I love you and want the best for you. Forgive me because I am a bit selfish and sometimes act as you say, but then I ask for your forgiveness and confess, because it’s not how I want to act. I am willing to give up whatever it takes for you to be well and receive the love you need.

In the face of adversity, the essence of genuine love is revealed. Let us welcome these challenges with happiness and dedicate ourselves to nurturing our love in sincerity. Blessed be God, who offers Himself to us in such a profound manner.

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