At that time: When the crowd heard these words of Jesus some of the people said, ‘This really is the Prophet.’ Others said, ‘This is the Christ.’ But some said, ‘Is the Christ to come from Galilee? Has not the Scripture said that the Christ comes from the offspring of David, and comes from Bethlehem, the village where David was?’ So there was a division among the people over him. Some of them wanted to arrest him, but no one laid hands on him.
  The officers then came to the chief priests and Pharisees, who said to them, ‘Why did you not bring him?’ The officers answered, ‘No one ever spoke like this man!’ The Pharisees answered them, ‘Have you also been deceived? Have any of the authorities or the Pharisees believed in him? But this crowd that does not know the law is accursed.’ Nicodemus, who had gone to him before, and who was one of them, said to them, ‘Does our law judge a man without first giving him a hearing and learning what he does?’ They replied, ‘Are you from Galilee too? Search and see that no prophet arises from Galilee.’

In this passage from the Gospel of John, we see how the conflict surrounding Jesus continues to grow. It is no longer just a discussion, but the beginning of a rejection that will gradually harden hearts until it leads to His Crucifixion. And this does not happen all at once, but little by little: doubt, prejudice and pride slowly close the heart to the truth.
The people become divided: some believe, others doubt, and others judge based on preconceived ideas. The division does not come from Jesus, but from the way people choose to look at Him.
Something very similar happens in marriage. Doubts gradually distance us as spouses because they distort our way of seeing. When I allow suspicion to enter, I no longer look at my spouse with gratitude, but with judgement; I no longer listen with openness, but with defensiveness. I begin to interpret everything through my fears rather than through the truth of the other.
In this way, almost without noticing, a distance is created that breaks communion between spouses. And it does not break suddenly—it happens slowly, when doubt replaces trust and suspicion overcomes the gift we have received.
In the midst of this conflict, Nicodemus appears and teaches us something essential: before judging, we must listen; before assuming, we must welcome. It is a direct invitation for spouses not to close their hearts without first seeking the truth in the heart of the other.
When we return to seeing our spouse as a gift—as the place where God comes to meet us—doubt loses its strength, and the heart regains the joy of loving in truth.

Applied to Married Life

Lucy: John, I can see you’ve spent £400 today…
John: Lucy, I’ll explain later—I’m running late for a meeting.
Lucy: “Later I’ll explain”? John, what I’m seeing is that lately you’re making important decisions without including me.
John: Lucy, it’s not like that, honestly. I’ll explain everything properly later—it was something necessary.
Lucy: I think I know what your “necessities” are… Was it really necessary, or just impulsive?
(An uncomfortable silence follows.)
Alright… I think I’m letting suspicion take over, and I don’t want to judge without listening. Love, can you tell me what happened?
John: Lucy, something went wrong with the car this morning and it had to be fixed today. I did think of telling you, but I was in such a rush that I planned to explain it properly later.
Lucy: John, thank you for telling me… and forgive me for letting doubt and suspicion get the better of me.
John: Love, it’s alright. Next time, I’ll make the effort to tell you beforehand.

Mother,

help us to trust as you do, and to listen with open hearts, always with your tenderness. Blessed and praised be the Lord, for ever.

At that time: Jesus went about in Galilee. He would not go about in Judea, because the Jews were seeking to kill him.
  Now the Jews’ Feast of Booths was at hand. After his brothers and sisters had gone up to the feast, then he also went up, not publicly but in private.
  Some of the people of Jerusalem therefore said, ‘Is not this the man whom they seek to kill? And here he is, speaking openly, and they say nothing to him! Can it be that the authorities really know that this is the Christ? But we know where this man comes from, and when the Christ appears, no one will know where he comes from.’ So Jesus proclaimed, as he taught in the Temple, ‘You know me, and you know where I come from. But I have not come of my own accord. He who sent me is true, and him you do not know. I know him, for I come from him, and he sent me.’ So they were seeking to arrest him, but no one laid a hand on him, because his hour had not yet come.

The Gospel of the Lord

Jesus says that He has been sent by the One who is True, and that in order for us to know Him who is the Truth, we must come through Him: “No one comes to the Father except through Me.”
For this reason, the time we dedicate to prayer—both personal and as a couple—is essential. Through prayer, we gradually enter into the shared intimacy to which we are called: with the Lord and with our spouse.
This is truly the best way to come to know both the Truth and my spouse. Little by little, the Lord transforms our hearts and our way of seeing. If I look at my spouse from my own perspective, I will see them in a distorted way, shaped by my fallen nature. But if I look from the Truth, I will see my spouse as the Lord sees them.

Applied to Married Life

Joseph: Catherine, my mum was telling me how much she loves your apple tart.
Catherine: Oh, Joseph, how kind of her. She’s been very thoughtful towards me lately.
Joseph: Yes, Catherine. She’s come to realise how important you are to me. I speak about you a lot—about how you care for me, everything you do for me and for the children…
Catherine: I love that. And since we’ve been praying together, I’ve also come to see how important she is to you—and therefore to us—and to our children too.
Joseph: I must admit, I often feel quite lazy about it, but then I see the fruits of prayer, and I end up thanking God for your perseverance—for drawing me along.
Catherine: Well then, what do you think about taking a little time for prayer before we start preparing dinner?
Joseph: I have to admit I don’t feel like it… but I receive your gift—let’s do it!
Together: Holy Spirit, come each day into our hearts…

Mother,

help us to persevere in our personal and conjugal prayer, so that you may lead us ever closer to your Son. Praise be to the Lord!

The Gospel of the Lord

At that time: Jesus answered the Jews, ‘My Father is working even now, and I am working.’ This was why the Jews were seeking all the more to kill him, because not only was he breaking the Sabbath, but he was even calling God his own Father, making himself equal with God.
  So Jesus said to them, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing. For whatever the Father does, that the Son does likewise. For the Father loves the Son and shows him all that he himself is doing. And greater works than these will he show him, so that you may marvel. For as the Father raises the dead and gives them life, so also the Son gives life to whom he will. For the Father judges no one, but has given all judgement to the Son, that all may honour the Son, just as they honour the Father. Whoever does not honour the Son does not honour the Father who sent him. Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word, and believes him who sent me, has eternal life. He does not come into judgement, but has passed from death to life.
  ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, an hour is coming, and is now here, when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God, and those who hear will live. For as the Father has life in himself, so he has granted the Son also to have life in himself. And he has given him authority to execute judgement, because he is the Son of Man. Do not marvel at this, for the hour is coming when all who are in the tombs will hear his voice and come out, those who have done good to the resurrection of life, and those who have done evil to the resurrection of judgement.
  ‘I can do nothing on my own. As I hear, I judge, and my judgement is just, because I seek not my own will but the will of him who sent me.’

The Gospel of the Lord

My dear Jesus, You so often emphasise that You do not seek to do Your own will, but the will of the Father.
If You, being God, seek only to do the Father’s will, how can I—a small creature, who knows so little compared to You—insist on doing my own will? How can I think that my will should be the measure of truth? What a mistake it is to believe that truth lies in my own will!
Please, Lord, help me to turn away from doing my own will. May my will never be the guiding principle, because it can only lead me into selfishness—even when I have the best intentions.
So, Jesus, may I desire only to do Your will.
And how do I know what Your will is? By listening to You—in prayer, in the silence of my heart. There You show me that the measure is not what I feel like doing or not doing, not what I think or fail to think. The measure is what You would do.
And if I am not sure? I must always question my own judgement, listen to You in silence, and, in doubt, follow my spouse. There, Your will will always be present. Because Your will is that I give myself, that I come out of myself—that I deny myself, take up my daily cross, and love in every situation.

Applied to Married Life

Mary: Christopher, this Gospel speaks so deeply to me. I remember how I used to think you were wrong, that you didn’t understand things properly. I would go before the Blessed Sacrament and tell the Lord how mistaken you were… but I wasn’t really listening to Him. I would come away convinced that I was right, and then return home lecturing you.
Christopher: I’ve really noticed the change—from demanding things of me to treating me with such tenderness.
Mary: I know what the secret is: the sacraments and prayer. But prayer where I truly look at Christ and listen to Him. At first, I hardly heard Him, because I found it so hard to stop thinking about my own concerns. But when I gaze at Him—when I see how good He is, how much He loves me, when I simply contemplate Him—that’s when I’ve learned to listen. And do you know something? He never tells me I’m right. He always tells me to give myself, to love, to welcome, to excuse.
Christopher: It’s wonderful to hear you say that. I still find it difficult, but I know that, when in doubt, what I should do is not what I feel like doing, but what you would prefer. For that, besides the sacraments and prayer you mentioned, those small acts of self-denial are essential. They help me move away from my own desires—I wrap them in love and offer them up for our family.
Mary: How great the Lord is!

Mother,

help us always to live in your presence. By doing what you would do, we will always be doing the will of God. Blessed and praised be the Lord!

From the Gospel according to Luke 18:9–14

A righteous person is one who places his trust in God and lives to fulfil His will. But when we take our gaze away from Christ, we begin to place our trust in ourselves, and then it becomes very easy to fall into the temptation of thinking we are better than others. Pride then enters our hearts. Soon comparison, judgement and condemnation follow. This can also happen in our marriage. My spouse does not do this, or does that, or does something but in a different way from how I would do it, or does not pray as I think he should… I judge him in my heart and begin to feel better than him. The Lord warns us in this Gospel about the danger of apparent fulfilment: I comply, yet I lie. Our path is not about simply following a set of rules, but about sincerely seeking to do God’s will at every moment, what He wants from me here and now. With what intention do I do things? To appear good before others, or to please God? Spouses, let us take each other by the hand and ask Christ together to have mercy and compassion on us, and to show us the plan He has for our marriage.

Emily: Andrew, this afternoon I thought that if you were coming home late it was because you were not interested in helping with the children’s baths and dinner, and I started to think I was better than you because I am always here at home with them.
Andrew: I’m sorry, Emily, my love. I was finishing something at work and lost track of time. I didn’t even realise how late it had become.
Emily: But you know what? When I took it to prayer, I realised that in reality I was not doing things well either, because I was not doing them out of love, but simply because there was no other choice, because they had to be done. So I asked God for forgiveness, and I ask you to forgive me too, because I did not respond well to God’s love for me. And also because I judged you unfairly.
Andrew: No, you forgive me, because once again I failed in my priorities. I put my work before you and the children, when now I realise I could easily have come home earlier to help with the children and finished my work later. I did not place my heart where it should have been either.
Emily: From now on I will try to be more attentive to my heart, so that I may do everything out of love.
Andrew: And I will also try to be more attentive in loving you better, coming home earlier and sharing the responsibilities with you.
Emily: We are very weak, and we fall so easily. Let us ask the Holy Spirit for help. Without God’s grace we will not succeed.
Andrew: Yes, and let us ask Our Lady to intercede for us.

Mother,

Teach us and help us to remain attentive so that we may always wholeheartedly do the Father’s will, just as you did throughout your entire life. Blessed and glorious are you, Mother! Praised be the Lord forever!