In this Gospel the Lord speaks to us plainly: I am to be handed over. He knows it, accepts it, and willingly gives Himself up to die on the cross out of Love — to redeem me, to redeem my marriage. Jesus tells us that the greatest demonstration of love is to lay down one’s life for one’s friends, to give oneself for the beloved. And today He says this to us, spouses:  “Pay attention to what I am telling you”: the way of marriage consists in loving your spouse, and that love is shown through self-giving. A total, voluntary giving that demands nothing in return. It’s as if He says: listen to what I have to tell you, pay attention — the path of love is a path of giving. Get this into your head: love is giving, and giving even unto the cross. It is a clear and firm message. What part of it seems ambiguous?

Do I want to hear the message, or would I rather close my ears and pretend I do not understand? Which corners of my life do I resist handing over? Do I dare to ask the Lord to show me where and how to give myself more to my husband? Or am I afraid to ask Him, in case I do not like the answer?

Anna: Dad, James has asked me to marry him, and I’ve said yes.
John: How wonderful, my dear. Are you sure James is your vocation?
Anna: What a strange question! I don’t understand you, Dad.
John: Why do you want to get married?
Anna: To be happy. I know James loves me and he will make me happy.
John: But marriage is not about having someone make you happy; it’s about you giving yourself for the salvation and eternal happiness of your husband.
Anna: I will make him happy too!
John: Marriage is not a matter of pleasures; it is the acceptance of a vocation to give yourself.
Anna: I don’t understand anything of what you are saying.
John: If James is your vocation, by marrying him you say yes to the Lord, and you then willingly accept to give yourself to James — for better and for worse. Until death. Even giving your life for him, no matter the circumstances.
Anna: Dad, you’re old-fashioned. Give yourself… until death… That’s not done any more.
John: My daughter, that is what true marriage is. The kind your mother and I have tried to live since we discovered marriage as God intended it — the kind that leads to eternal happiness. Why don’t you both go on a couples’ retreat with the Marital Love Project and deepen your understanding of your vocation before taking that step? We’ll invite you both to go.
Anna: Actually, I would like my marriage to be like the one you and mum have been living these last years. You seem very united and happy, even when things don’t look so good. I’ll suggest the retreat to James.

Mother,

No one knows the importance of prayer and contemplation like You do. Take us by the hand, so we may learn to give ourselves as You did — with joy, generosity and without limits — that we might love with a Love like Yours. Blessed are You, Mother! Praised be the Lord, who gave Himself for us!