GOSPEL OF THE DAY

From the Gospel according to Matthew 18:21–19:1

Peter approached Jesus and asked him,

“Lord, if my brother sins against me,

how often must I forgive him?

As many as seven times?”

Jesus answered, “I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.

That is why the Kingdom of heaven may be likened to a king

who decided to settle accounts with his servants.

When he began the accounting,

a debtor was brought before him who owed him a huge amount.

Since he had no way of paying it back,

his master ordered him to be sold,

along with his wife, his children, and all his property,

in payment of the debt.

At that, the servant fell down, did him homage, and said,

‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back in full.’

Moved with compassion the master of that servant

let him go and forgave him the loan.

When that servant had left, he found one of his fellow servants

who owed him a much smaller amount.

He seized him and started to choke him, demanding,

‘Pay back what you owe.’

Falling to his knees, his fellow servant begged him,

‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’

But he refused.

Instead, he had the fellow servant put in prison

until he paid back the debt.

Now when his fellow servants saw what had happened,

they were deeply disturbed,

and went to their master and reported the whole affair.

His master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant!

I forgave you your entire debt because you begged me to.

Should you not have had pity on your fellow servant,

as I had pity on you?’

Then in anger his master handed him over to the torturers

until he should pay back the whole debt.

So will my heavenly Father do to you,

unless each of you forgives his brother from his heart.”

When Jesus finished these words, he left Galilee

and went to the district of Judea across the Jordan.

The gospel of the Lord

 

Forgiving Without Conditions

How important and necessary forgiveness is—and even more, how much it helps us become better and, above all, love each other more deeply. We could say that forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts Jesus has given us. He forgives everything, no matter what it is—and most importantly, He forgets.

We should associate forgiveness with forgetting, because when we forgive but do not forget, we are placing conditions on the gift we’ve received from the Lord. And He never places conditions on His forgiveness—He loves us and forgives us freely.

Yet how hard it is for us to forgive, especially because we think more about ourselves than about the one who has offended us. And even more, how difficult it can be to forgive the one closest to us—even the one we love most: our spouse. But we must always forgive from the heart.

To understand this better, let’s break down the word to forgive: PAR-DON.

• The prefix PAR can signify intensity, duration, or completeness.
• The word DON means a gift, a special grace or ability to do something—a supernatural good we receive from God.

So when we join PAR to DON, we are intensifying the grace we’ve received. And there is no greater gift than love. Therefore, when we forgive from the heart, we show greater love to the one we forgive—we love them beyond the harm they may have caused us.

Moreover, we have the sacrament of confession, where we can always go to ask for forgiveness, receive grace, and recognize the importance of forgiving from the heart.

Applied to married fife

Laura: John, you’ve left your tools out again, just like always—this can’t keep happening!

John: Just give me a moment, I’ll pick them up now.

Laura: Here we go again with the “just a moment” excuse. I’ll have to remind you several times. You’re not helping at all with keeping the house in order.

John: You’re always saying the same thing, but it’s not worth getting upset over a couple of things I leave out now and then. Forgive me, I’ll try not to let it happen again.

Laura: You think that’s enough? It takes more than a simple “forgive me.” I feel like you’re not helping with what I really need.

John: You never let anything slide! Look how you let the kids leave their things all over the place and don’t make a big deal about it, but with me, the slightest thing and you’re on my case.

Laura Oh sure, go ahead and defend yourself—now it’s going to be my fault too.

John: Fine, I’ll leave everything tidy so the lady of the house is satisfied. Sometimes I just don’t understand you.

(A few hours later, during their couple’s prayer)

Laura: Thank you, Lord, for my husband—for everything he does for me and how attentive he is. Forgive me for my lack of patience and for giving the impression that I never let anything slide. Sometimes I focus more on what he doesn’t do than on who he is. Help me love him with his little flaws and always forgive him from the heart.

John: Thank you, Lord, for the gift of my wife—she does everything to help me become better each day. Forgive me for not paying attention to the little things I know she doesn’t like, and for leaving them until the last minute as if they didn’t matter. Also for always making excuses and defending myself when she points something out that I don’t feel like doing. Help me be more attentive to her, loving her first in the things that are hardest for me.

Laura: Thank you, John. What do you think about going to confession together so we can purify our hearts? That way we’ll stop being led by our impulses and it’ll be easier to see what the Lord wants from us.

John: I think that’s the best option. This time I have no excuse—let’s go now.

Mother,

Mother, you call us to convert our hearts so that we may love as Your Son loves us—to teach us and help us forgive from the heart, so that we may draw ever closer to Him. Blessed be the Lord.