From the Gospel according to Matthew. Mt. 19:16-22
A young man approached Jesus and said, “Teacher, what good must I do to gain eternal life?”
He answered him, “Why do you ask me about the good? There is only One who is good. If you wish to enter into life, keep the commandments.”
He asked him, “Which ones?”
And Jesus replied, “You shall not kill; you shall not commit adultery; you shall not steal; you shall not bear false witness; honor your father and your mother; and you shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
The young man said to him, “All of these I have observed. What do I still lack?”
Jesus said to him, “If you wish to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
When the young man heard this statement, he went away sad, for he had many possessions.
He answered him, “Why do you ask me about the good? There is only One who is good. If you wish to enter into life, keep the commandments.”
He asked him, “Which ones?”
And Jesus replied, “You shall not kill; you shall not commit adultery; you shall not steal; you shall not bear false witness; honor your father and your mother; and you shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
The young man said to him, “All of these I have observed. What do I still lack?”
Jesus said to him, “If you wish to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
When the young man heard this statement, he went away sad, for he had many possessions.
The Gospel of the Lord.
Not being attached to possesions.
Let’s start by answering Jesus if we’re really living out the commandments that relate to loving my spouse. In marriage, these commandments take on a very real and practical meaning: “do not kill” means not hurting with words or attitudes; “do not commit adultery” means being faithful not only physically, but also emotionally and spiritually; “honor” means mutual respect. Living out these commandments isn’t supposed to feel like a burden, it’s actually the foundation of a holy marriage. But Jesus doesn’t just ask us to “follow the rules”; He asks us to give ourselves completely to each other.
That call to perfection in marriage, that “sell everything” moment, means giving ourselves to one another without holding back. It means letting go of “our possessions”, our selfishness, individualism, personal comforts so that together we can build a love rooted in unity. Therefore we have to strip away whatever stands in the way of full communion. Sometimes that can be a career that takes over everything, unresolved past relationships, habits we keep to ourselves, or wounds that haven’t healed. Marital love demands detachment not just from material things, but from anything that keeps us from giving ourselves fully.
Many marriages suffer and grow sad because one or both spouses just won’t let go of their “many possessions.” Selfishness, pride, or the need to always be in control can steal joy. The rich young man walked away sad because he couldn’t give himself completely. How many marriages today are hurting for the same reason that one or both aren’t willing to give their all?
Applied to Married Life:
Isabella: Jack, I see you’re sad, and I don’t know what to do to help.
Jack: Yeah, Inma… it’s just always the same: you always have to be right about everything, and I’m left having to just shut up and take it, because if I don’t, we start fighting.
Isabella: But Pablo, that’s not really true. I try to do things the right way, and maybe sometimes I come across too strong, but honestly I don’t mean to impose my way on you. Look, why don´t we ask the Lord tonight, when we pray together, to show us what He’s asking of us and shed some light on this situation?
That night, after reading and reflecting on the Gospel of the rich young man, they pray together as a couple:
Jack: Lord, I realize you don’t want me to be sad. My sadness probably comes from my pride, from not being able to take Inma’s comments and requests. If I weren’t so attached to always being right, this wouldn’t bother me so much.
Isabella: Lord, thank you for Pablo. When I come before you, I can clearly see that he’s the gift you gave me to help me get out of myself, to let go of my selfishness, and to strip away my ego, which is still way too big. Please help me to always put Pablo first, and stop being so focused on myself.
Jack: Thank you, Lord, for Isabella and for the light you’ve given me during this time of prayer. I ask you to help me let go of my attachments so I can love Inma the way you love her.
Mother,
you had no attachments, only God. Help me and teach me to see where my attachments are, and to slowly let them go, so I can always do God’s will. Praise be the Lord!
you had no attachments, only God. Help me and teach me to see where my attachments are, and to slowly let them go, so I can always do God’s will. Praise be the Lord!