“Master, why can I not follow you now? I will lay down my life for you.” Jesus answered, “Will you lay down your life for me? Amen, amen, I say to you, the cock will not crow before you deny me three times.”
With the reading of this Gospel, and taking a moment for self-examination, we see that at times we may resemble some disciples more than others, and we must “choose” what kind of spouse we want to be:
At times, we can be like Judas: loving ourselves more than God and, therefore, unable to love anyone else. Apparently faithful, yet deep in our hearts we know that we are betraying our spouse whenever we can, because we seek our own benefit and happiness above all else.
At other times, we can be like Peter: in certain situations there is a struggle between our self-love and our love for God. We are faithful and devoted spouses, but from time to time fear creeps in and we begin to doubt whether we made a mistake in our marriage, doubting the gift that our spouse is.
And we can also be like John: when we profess a pure love, completely given to God, a love without duplicity, through which we remain firm in our commitment because we are united to the Lord—and it is that union that allows our sacrament to grow and be renewed each day.
As we can see, it does not depend on what we want, but rather the kind of union we have with the Lord is what will define the “disciple-spouse” we can become.
Andrew: Hanna, I remember that when we got married, I did it because I wanted you to make me happy. I was seeking my own happiness above everything. You were like a “means” to achieve it.
Hanna: I understand, Andrew… it’s true that at that time you weren’t very united to the Lord, and sometimes that self-interest showed in the way you acted.
Andrew: Yes… thank God, little by little I began to understand what all this was about, and I realized that I also had to give a lot of myself. Although from time to time doubts would come, and there was a period when I even wondered if I had made a mistake marrying you.
Hanna: I remember those years. They were tough. But I held on to the Lord and prayed for strength, to remain faithful, so that He would help you believe in the sacrament as He had intended it.
Andrew: Thanks to Married Love Project, the Lord helped me see that we needed to count on Him in our marriage. that this wasn’t just about the two of us. And so I began to strive to include Him, through prayer and the sacraments.
Hanna: That’s right, now we are a new marriage, because both of us have grounded it in our love for God. That makes Him present in our hearts and at the center of our marriage. The Lord can make all things new!