Sometimes our love looks a lot like that house in Bethany: there are days of routine, of quiet service, of a shared table… and, without realizing it, Jesus is there, in the midst of us. Mary’s attitude is very striking. She doesn’t calculate, she doesn’t measure, she holds nothing back. She simply loves… and it is noticable. She pours out the best she has, without fear of it being too much.
Perhaps we, over time, have learned to love with more caution than passion: giving just enough, making sure not to “overdo it,” waiting for the other person to give first. And yet, the love that truly transforms a marriage is the kind that goes first, that surprises, that gives itself without keeping score. That free gesture, that detail that “wasn’t necessary,” that tenderness that breaks the routine… that is the perfume that fills the house again.
Judas also appears, and he is closer than he seems. He is in those inner voices that tell us: “it’s not worth it,” “why make such an effort?” “nothing will change.” When we listen to that, love becomes cold, practical… and loses its beauty.
Today this Gospel whispers something very simple to us: let us not stop perfuming our marriage. Let us not stop making free gestures, caring for the little things, loving without measure.
Because when one of the two dares to love like this, something changes. And little by little, the whole house, our whole life, is filled again with that “fragrance” that reminds us why we began this journey together.
Alex: Today I was reading the Gospel of Bethany… and you know, it made me think of us. About how Mary behaves… that way of loving without measuring. It impresses me how she pours out the perfume without thinking if it’s too much or too little. And I realized that many times, with you, I do just the opposite.
Ily: What do you mean?
Alex: That I calculate. Sometimes I think, “I’ve already done enough today,” or “now it’s her turn”… and I forget to simply love you without keeping score.
Ily: (smiles) Well, you’re not the only one… I fall into that too. It’s like love becomes practical, efficient… but less beautiful.
Alex: Yes… and then there’s that little Judas-like voice… “why so much effort?” “in the end, nothing changes…”
Ily: Ugh, I know that one well. Especially on bad days.
Alex: But Mary’s example really touched me. Because her gesture seemed excessive… and Jesus not only doesn’t stop her, He defends her, as if saying: that’s real love, the kind that isn’t afraid of being too much. And I thought: it’s been a while since I’ve “poured perfume” on you.
Ily: Perfume?
Alex: Yes… gestures without a reason, time without rushing, affection without you asking for it… those things that used to come naturally to us.
Ily: (in a softer voice) I’d like to get back to that too…
Alex: What if we start again? Without waiting for the other to change first.
Ily: And let the house be filled with that perfume… I hope that happens here too.
Alex: Then let’s try. I’ll start today.
Ily: (laughing) Okay… but be careful, don’t stop halfway.