From the Gospel according to Matthew 18:21–35

Peter approached Jesus and asked him,
“Lord, if my brother sins against me,
how often must I forgive him?
As many as seven times?”
Jesus answered, “I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.
That is why the Kingdom of heaven may be likened to a king
who decided to settle accounts with his servants.
When he began the accounting,
a debtor was brought before him who owed him a huge amount.
Since he had no way of paying it back,
his master ordered him to be sold,
along with his wife, his children, and all his property,
in payment of the debt.
At that, the servant fell down, did him homage, and said,
‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back in full.’
Moved with compassion the master of that servant
let him go and forgave him the loan.
When that servant had left, he found one of his fellow servants
who owed him a much smaller amount.
He seized him and started to choke him, demanding,
‘Pay back what you owe.’
Falling to his knees, his fellow servant begged him,
‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’
But he refused.
Instead, he had him put in prison
until he paid back the debt.
Now when his fellow servants saw what had happened,
they were deeply disturbed, and went to their master
and reported the whole affair.
His master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant!
I forgave you your entire debt because you begged me to.
Should you not have had pity on your fellow servant,
as I had pity on you?’
Then in anger his master handed him over to the torturers
until he should pay back the whole debt.
So will my heavenly Father do to you,
unless each of you forgives your brother from your heart.”

How is it possible that someone who has been forgiven refuses to forgive? Our Lord never ceases to forgive us everything; we already know beforehand that He will do so. Yet when we face the need to forgive our spouse, do we sometimes feel a resistance that makes us say: That’s enough now. Am I a fool? This cannot be forgiven, or something similar? What is happening? If this happens to me, it means that although God has offered me the fullness of His mercy, I have not truly been able to receive it, and it has not yet transformed my heart. One of the great graces God gives us when He forgives us is the awareness that we can no longer refuse forgiveness to anyone. Something begins to arise within us: Who am I to deny forgiveness to another? What attitudes do we need in order to be ready to receive God’s mercy in its fullness? 1) Humility, recognising our poverty and weakness. 2) Sincere sorrow of heart. 3) Deep gratitude. Only the heart that allows itself to be transformed by the grace of mercy is capable of forgiving. If you want to forgive, take your resentful gaze away from your spouse’s sin and look instead at your own poverty, so often embraced by God. Ask Him for the grace to forgive as He forgives, freeing you from the oppression of resentment. When spouses welcome mercy, marriage becomes a place where two poor people, sustained by the mercy of God, learn to forgive as God forgives them.

Michael: Forgive me, Grace… this morning I spoke harshly to you in front of the children. I was angry and I took it out on you.
Grace: Oh Michael, of course I forgive you. I didn’t respond well either… I ended up speaking badly to you too. And I thought to myself: what an example we’re giving our children!
Michael: Yes, but I started it, Grace… I truly regret it. Please forgive me.
Grace: Of course I forgive you, Michael. How could I not? Do you know how grateful I am to the Lord for all that He forgives me every single day? How could I refuse to forgive you? Besides… I couldn’t live without you.
Michael: And I certainly couldn’t live without you. Come here.
(As they embraced, their children walked into the room and ended up joining them.) Glory to God, because only He can turn our falls into a blessing.

Mother,

Teach us to receive mercy with grateful hearts, so that nothing is wasted, and that we may be filled with every grace as you were, full of grace. Praised be God who leads us into a new life — the life of forgiveness!